being patient like that definitely a skill that is not always easy to get right, and certainly takes practice.
What it mostly takes is mountains of privilege.
Not to mention that tone policing and demanding faux civility (but only from one side, the other gets to openly support oppressive constructs and still be seen as “well meaning” while those defending their humanity and fighting for survival get framed as the problem) are tools that serve to further oppress already marginalise voices, not uplift them.
If you go in with that attitude, though, are you there to try to convert people to your side. Or are you only there to berate them and make yourself feel better for having done so?
That doesn’t mean you put up with bad faith engagement. That doesn’t mean you allow them to burden you with the emotional and mental weight of the argument. That they can watch the consequences without fear of it harming their self is exactly why you need to watch your language. They lose nothing staying where they are, you need to convince them to give up resources (mental, emotional, financial) of their own to take up your position.
So, don’t put up with bullshit, and you don’t have to be nice about it, but you do have to be patient of your goal is to actually convert people over. Not everyone’s role is to convert people, though, some people are only fighters. Just make sure the fighting is directed in the right places.
There’s a difference between tone policing and humility, a pretty large one, in fact. Huey P. Newton (and myself, by extension) are not blaming those emotionally exhausted or tired. I refuse to condemn those who speak truth to power, or who have a fiery tone. Lenin is one of my favorite writers, and he never held back. Same with Frantz Fanon. However, I have found a good amount of success by trying to be patient with others, and this is a fact I’ve had to grapple with.
Basically, even if patience is more effective for some people, I refuse to condemn those that choose a more direct and confrontational path. Finger-wagging about “civility” is obviously wrong. Moreover, legitimate fascists and reactionaries are not the same as “well-meaning but misinformed” people as I originally spoke of, and generally should be outright opposed with little care for civility or hostility.
The voices of marginalized people should be especially listened to and not tone-policed in any way either. Racists, transphobes, homophobes, fascists, and reactionaries in general should be openly made fun of and combatted viciously.
Moreover, legitimate fascists and reactionaries are not the same as “well-meaning but misinformed” people
Yeah, this is the big point. If they’re “…[invalidating] your humanity, and the humanity of people you love,” they are just abusing your patience, and don’t deserve it. Fuck those people.
Nobody said it would be easy or fair, only that it would be necessary for an audience that is predisposed to oppose you to be charitable and hear what you are saying.
What it mostly takes is mountains of privilege.
Not to mention that tone policing and demanding faux civility (but only from one side, the other gets to openly support oppressive constructs and still be seen as “well meaning” while those defending their humanity and fighting for survival get framed as the problem) are tools that serve to further oppress already marginalise voices, not uplift them.
Do better.
If you go in with that attitude, though, are you there to try to convert people to your side. Or are you only there to berate them and make yourself feel better for having done so?
That doesn’t mean you put up with bad faith engagement. That doesn’t mean you allow them to burden you with the emotional and mental weight of the argument. That they can watch the consequences without fear of it harming their self is exactly why you need to watch your language. They lose nothing staying where they are, you need to convince them to give up resources (mental, emotional, financial) of their own to take up your position.
So, don’t put up with bullshit, and you don’t have to be nice about it, but you do have to be patient of your goal is to actually convert people over. Not everyone’s role is to convert people, though, some people are only fighters. Just make sure the fighting is directed in the right places.
There’s a difference between tone policing and humility, a pretty large one, in fact. Huey P. Newton (and myself, by extension) are not blaming those emotionally exhausted or tired. I refuse to condemn those who speak truth to power, or who have a fiery tone. Lenin is one of my favorite writers, and he never held back. Same with Frantz Fanon. However, I have found a good amount of success by trying to be patient with others, and this is a fact I’ve had to grapple with.
Basically, even if patience is more effective for some people, I refuse to condemn those that choose a more direct and confrontational path. Finger-wagging about “civility” is obviously wrong. Moreover, legitimate fascists and reactionaries are not the same as “well-meaning but misinformed” people as I originally spoke of, and generally should be outright opposed with little care for civility or hostility.
The voices of marginalized people should be especially listened to and not tone-policed in any way either. Racists, transphobes, homophobes, fascists, and reactionaries in general should be openly made fun of and combatted viciously.
Yeah, this is the big point. If they’re “…[invalidating] your humanity, and the humanity of people you love,” they are just abusing your patience, and don’t deserve it. Fuck those people.
Nobody said it would be easy or fair, only that it would be necessary for an audience that is predisposed to oppose you to be charitable and hear what you are saying.