It’s also on her, because she didn’t tell you directly. You have to be blunt with some people. She even told your mutual friend directly; why did she have to play big enigma with you? It should be possible to be direct with potential partners. Imagine a relationship where nobody ever says what they mean and instead dances around the issue for the partner to guess what they want. That must be exhausting.
I feel this so much - why not just say what you want/need? It makes relationships so much easier. I will admit, it took a lot of fumbles for me to realize that, tho. 😅
It depends on how you’re raised I think, and then you gotta fuck up and figure it out when you get older.
It’s a disease in my family. I was talking with my uncle the other day and he had been upset with his wife. He didn’t tell her, he just went and slept on the couch. Done the whole cold shoulder thing.
I told him he needs to spit out whatever he’s feeling in that moment if he wants things to work. No sense sitting on it thinking the other person should know why you’re upset. Different things hit people different ways. Something that might make your blood boil might get a chuckle out of me.
You have to talk and express these things or it won’t work. I’m glad I know that now and am applying it in the relationship I’m in today.
It’s also on her, because she didn’t tell you directly. You have to be blunt with some people. She even told your mutual friend directly; why did she have to play big enigma with you? It should be possible to be direct with potential partners. Imagine a relationship where nobody ever says what they mean and instead dances around the issue for the partner to guess what they want. That must be exhausting.
Im gray aro technically. But the last of my interest is gone due to this exact form of relationship trauma. I am happier though i feel like.
Good lord, my ex. Everything was a guessing game with her and she liked it that way because if things were calm and normal she wasn’t happy.
I’m so happy to be in a relationship with someone where we say what we mean and communicate our needs.
I feel this so much - why not just say what you want/need? It makes relationships so much easier. I will admit, it took a lot of fumbles for me to realize that, tho. 😅
It depends on how you’re raised I think, and then you gotta fuck up and figure it out when you get older.
It’s a disease in my family. I was talking with my uncle the other day and he had been upset with his wife. He didn’t tell her, he just went and slept on the couch. Done the whole cold shoulder thing.
I told him he needs to spit out whatever he’s feeling in that moment if he wants things to work. No sense sitting on it thinking the other person should know why you’re upset. Different things hit people different ways. Something that might make your blood boil might get a chuckle out of me.
You have to talk and express these things or it won’t work. I’m glad I know that now and am applying it in the relationship I’m in today.