(I have low standards)

      • cuchilloc@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Literally eating ass for 14 years, never got an itchy butt. If someone has them, they would know and maybe not even want to have genital sex. The best sex happens with people you can trust.

        • deranger
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          10 months ago

          It’s more the food sanitation standards than any ass cleaning. A bidet won’t get rid of worms living in your intestines, no matter how high you dial the pressure.

          • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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            10 months ago

            I don’t have worms. Your statement was that nobody’s ass is that clean. Mine is clean, pressure washed every day.

    • Lmaydev@programming.dev
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      10 months ago

      Exactly. Your butt should be clean. It’s really easy to clean your butt before hand. When I see these sort of comments I assume people are just gross and can’t imagine people having clean butts.

      • southsamurai
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        10 months ago

        Well, allow a career nurse’s assistant to chime in.

        Having wiped and washed asses for not a living (seriously, the pay is bad) for twenty years, I can 100% guarantee you that it does not matter how much you wash the ass, if there are worms in the intestines, you still run the risk of sucking a few of them up while you’re hoovering the ass with your tongue.

        And, even if you hose that thing down, the risk of bacterial transfer is non zero.

        First, the ol’ brown eye is wrinkly as hell. Washing your own ass means you can’t see everything to be certain you got every last trace of fecal matter. That trace may be smaller than a pinhead, but when you’re tongue-punching the fart box, that pinhead is still going to get licked up.

        Second, it isn’t like all the bacteria in the area magically disappear. Most people get so focused on the anus itself, they don’t remember to scrub the cheeks. Maybe you’re an exception to that, I dunno. But bacteria are fast spreading little bastards. Anything that’s even remotely close will be back in under an hour.

        And, even with hot, running water and soap, you can’t guarantee 100% removal of all bacteria. Even with antimicrobial soaps and supplies, you’re washing your ass blind, and it’s wrinkly. So chances are that there are still small batches hiding in a wrinkle. A few minutes after drying off, and they’re enjoying the hot, moist goodness of a gluteal crease, having a bacteria party and reproducing like, well, bacteria.

        All of that ignores that as soon as you fart the first time, some amount of bacteria are coming out. Even without that, the anal sphincters (yes, there’s multiple) aren’t exactly airtight. Something microscopic is more than small enough to creep out.

        So, scrub away as much as you like, but anyone eating your ass is still coming in contact with some amount of intestinal content, including but not limited to, feces, e-coli, and any worm eggs or worms present.

        • Maven (famous)@lemmy.worldOP
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          10 months ago

          When I posted this meme I wasn’t expecting a lesson on anal hygiene but I appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to write this. I appreciate you.

        • ryannathans@aussie.zone
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          10 months ago

          Now talk about the bacteria in a vagina and how we shouldn’t do any oral sex. Or how much bacteria is in a mouth.

          • southsamurai
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            10 months ago

            Eh, the bacteria in vaginas, or more appropriately the vaginal flora since it isn’t just bacteria isn’t as bad as you’d think. That’s because, barring sexually transmitted pathogens, everything that’s in there is already on all of us, and in our mouths, already.

            Now, I’m not downplaying the possibilities of STD transmission. You can catch a handful of them via oral sex.

            But the stuff that’s in every vagina, everywhere, aren’t pathogens in the vagina, on the skin, or in the mouth. You’ve got your basic assortment of yeast, a handful of lactobacilli, and the trace of staph. You’ll sometimes have e-coli in the mix, but it can’t really compete in that environment, it gets killed off. Only the proximity of the anus keeps it there, and the amounts are unlikely to cause problems what with the need of a fairly decent “dose” to get past the oral flora and immune response.

            Simply put, if it isn’t an STD (and a fairly limited group of those), you don’t run into contagion via oral sex.

            STDs area not part of the discussion because they specifically transmit in that way, and aren’t in/on everyone the way the others are.

            However! You can run into issues where the exact balance of flora can be a problem. It isn’t unusual to get minor issues when playing with a new partner because the exact strains and proportions aren’t the same. That’s when you run into things like bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, thrush (which is just an oral yeast infection), or the occasional strep infection.

            So, with a new partner, if they aren’t going to be long term, you’d be a fool not you use a barrier of some kind. The likelihood of an imbalance is usually higher for the vagina being exposed to a mouth or sexual organs, but it can go both ways. So, if they aren’t going to me a regular partner, there’s no point I letting the imbalance occur in the first place. With someone you’ll be with for years, you might as well go without a barrier, be prepared for the imbalance to occur, and let your bodies’ flora mingle and find a new balance.

            Now, oral to oral contact, aka kissing, is actually similar. Our immune systems adapt to a small degree to whatever mix we have, and it takes something throwing the immune system out of order for something like thrush to set up shop. That is, until we get a load of some strange spit in our mouths. While it isn’t common, you can end up with issues after kissing someone new. Thrush is the usual one that will rise up until your own mix of yeast and lactobacilli kick foreign ass and/or the foreign strains find balance new.

            I have seen, or read about unusual things though. Obviously, strep and staph strains can cause problems in the throat and mouth. But, there’s this nasty little fucker called streptococcus mutans that is particularly good at wrecking enamel via acid production. It is aided in that by lactobacilli, of course.

            Sometimes, a foreign strain of the S mutans can set off a burst of tooth decay in a previously healthy set of teeth, even when good oral hygiene is practiced. The foreign version can, in those rare cases, slide by hygiene the same as your usual strain does, but the immune system takes a few weeks to address those leftovers, so you get some weakening of the enamel via the acid activity on hydroxyapatite. Well, I think that’s the right mineral, if any dentists or hygienists come along and I’m remembering wrong, please correct me.

            So, even kissing isn’t risk free. Unfortunately, unlike analingus, felatio, and cunnilingus, there aren’t any good barriers for kissing. Mouths just aren’t a good space to design a disposable barrier around. Also unfortunately, even immediate brushing and use of mouthwash isn’t going to guarantee you get all of the foreign strains.

            There’s a reason I advocate for the use of oral barriers during any “lingus” activity. If it isn’t a regular partner, you’re simply risking hassles. Doesn’t matter what body parts and genitalia are going to be in contact with each other, condoms and dental dams are cheap and easy to use.

        • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          10 months ago

          Thank you. I don’t understand why this is such a controversial opinion. It’s not like most people use barriers when eating ass.

          • southsamurai
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            10 months ago

            I mean, I do, though my wife isn’t a fan of it. Had exes that were, and I made it clear it wasn’t happening without a barrier. I had access to good latex shields cheap.

            Mind you, the job pretty much ruined any pleasure in eating ass for me. I’ll do it with a barrier, but it isn’t something I can get into. Tbh, I’m not a big fan of anal for the same reason. You wipe and wash enough of them, the erotic potential starts to fade.

            • emptiestplace@lemmy.ml
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              10 months ago

              the erotic potential starts to fade.

              I’ve often wondered if this would be a problem in general for medical professionals… come home to your husband or wife and jesus fucking christ another body to take care of.

            • zalgotext
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              10 months ago

              It’s an erogenous zone. There’s tons and tons of nerves down there. You’ll really never understand why that area is a pleasure center for some?

              • 1984@lemmy.today
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                10 months ago

                Yeah but I will never touch it on another human because it’s disgusting.

                • zalgotext
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                  10 months ago

                  You think it’s disgusting, which is fine. A bunch of other people don’t think it’s disgusting, which is also fine, as long as everyone consents, is safe about it, and understands the risks. Like, you know, every single risky activity that people do for fun/pleasure.

          • southsamurai
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            10 months ago

            I did, in a response to someone that asked a little earlier than you. Should be able to find it fairly quickly in my history

        • Lmaydev@programming.dev
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          10 months ago

          Yeah but mouths are full of bacteria as well so I don’t see that as a good argument against.

          And who forgets to wash their cheeks? This is exactly what I was talking about.

          • southsamurai
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            10 months ago

            Well, you’d be surprised how many people forget.

            As far as mouth bacteria goes, that is actually an argument against kissing. Plenty of pathogens are transferred that way. Colds, flus, mono, herpes, yeast/thrush, pretty much everything that can be transmitted by sneezes or coughs.

            However, the only pathogens that can go from mouth to ass and cause disease are the herps and warts. Neither of which can actually be destroyed by washing.

            So, you’re still at non-zero risk regardless of which ass is being eaten at any given moment, no matter how well you bathe.

            Hygiene simply isn’t the answer to whether or not to eat ass.

            Don’t get me wrong, if you like eating ass, gobble that shit up! Get your tongue in there and wreck that booty! Just don’t pretend that you can wash your ass enough to make it risk free. You could only eat ass in the shower, with running water going at all times, and your risk is still non-zero. Matter of fact, that won’t actually prevent any of the ass to mouth pathogens Herpes, warts, e-coli, and worms can absolutely transmit while in the shower with running water because as soon as you get your skin and mucous membranes in contact with their skin, you shelter the site from the water. With your tongue right on the anus, as small as the risk would be, it is still there.

            Seriously, porn actors get infections passed doing ass to mouth and eating ass. And they flush out the bowels as completely as possible. If anyone was going to be able to guarantee zero risk, it would be someone that had done multiple enemas and bathed as thoroughly ass possible. That’s still not zero-risk.

            • Lmaydev@programming.dev
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              10 months ago

              That’s exactly my point. All the same arguments can be used against kissing. There’s always a risk of disease. All you can do is be as clean as possible and choose your partners wisely.

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        10 months ago

        Yeah, I’ve licked my share of ass. Only one ever wasn’t nice, so just stop. Has no one ever found a vagina or penis to be unclean after making oral contact? If so, you stop oral copulation. This seems pretty obvious to me.