• @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    597 months ago

    I’ve been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That’s 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that’s 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you’re better than me? Oh, you’re not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I’ll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.

  • 🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
    link
    fedilink
    English
    8
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    Actually yeah. I don’t know the brand name but they have charcoal filter underwear that just absorbs the smell, and they also have others that have little scent pads that turn your farts into like apple pie smell and stuff.

    Have no idea how well they actually work though. I’ve never used them nor do I know anyone who has.

  • Kalash
    link
    fedilink
    8
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    There a scented douches, and I don’t see why they wouldn’t work in the orifice next to the intend one.

  • @spacecowboy
    link
    77 months ago

    Pop “Charcoal Shreddies” into a search engine.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    77 months ago

    Yes. I heard of something like that on the podcast “A problem squared”. It was a pill invented by some french doctor I think? I’m not sure.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        37 months ago

        Just looked it up. He’s called Christian Poincheval and he’s not a doctor. The pill is called Pilule Pet which I think is a pun in french

        • @[email protected]OP
          link
          fedilink
          0
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          “Petér” or something is fart in French. Pilule is “small pill”

          Edit: Petér Griffin

  • @tyrefyre
    link
    67 months ago

    I use wintergreen life saver mints as suppositories. Be sure they are in the correct orientation, the hole is for the farts to pass through.

  • SirBucksworth
    link
    fedilink
    67 months ago

    Gelomyrthol makes my farts smell like mint after taking them for a few days 😅

    • @[email protected]OP
      link
      fedilink
      5
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      That an antibiotic?

      Edit: rectified eucaplyptus, well that makes sense. Might wanna double-check on how they “rectify” it. Might be to literal for IRL

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    47 months ago

    I think mustard is a folk remedy for gas. And not the store bought condiment, that usually makes me fart, but rather mustard powder as used in Indian cuisine.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    47 months ago

    High dietary fiber like beer, veggies, or beans creates large amounts of gas, but meat is what makes it smell bad. In my opinion pork is the worst, beef is not great, and chicken is still bad but the least offensive. Eggs can be sulphuric. If you want to deodorize your farts try being vegetarian for 2 or 3 days.

    • @[email protected]OP
      link
      fedilink
      1
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      Its disappointing its not available in chewable suppository. That would be way funnier, if people had to dose it “the baby way”

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠
    link
    fedilink
    -67 months ago

    Stop eating things your body can’t digest. You’ll still fart, but it will be nearly odorless.

    • @HootinNHollerin
      link
      2
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      Vegetarians have the smelliest farts actually

    • @[email protected]OP
      link
      fedilink
      1
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      Its not a problem for me I just thought it would be an amusing and interesting thread :)

      • yesdogishere
        link
        fedilink
        4
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        We believe you. The best fart deodorisers are rollons with a dildo which is a roll on and also deep suppository, to work out and give those farts a good pumping.

        • @[email protected]OP
          link
          fedilink
          17 months ago

          There actually should be something like that (but more umbrella like) so you can get it up there, fold it out and it can help plumb all the residual crap out of your pipe