• 1luv8008135@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Me: I need to leave this community. What if these memes are just making me think I have ADHD when I don’t.

    Also me on literally every meme that’s posted here: haha, hard rel8

    • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      All these ADHD memes have several times made me think if there’s a light version?

      But from what I understand everyone can experience ADHD “symptoms” from time to time, but people who are diagnosed with it have symptoms that are several orders of magnitude more intense.

      • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I’m gonna sound like a broken record here but my favorite thing is:

        Everyone pees but when you pee 60 times a day you go see a doctor

      • NightAuthor@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Not diagnosed till late 20s.

        I’m “twice gifted”, so my intelligence can help me mask my ADHD in some ways. Looking back, all… ALL the signs were there, but no one was looking, or just didn’t understand. Lots of “you just need to apply yourself” kind of shit.

        Anyway, check out Russell Barkley, if you’ve got a thing for educational videos, his are interesting enough, I feel, since he’s talking about me.

        He made me feel a lot more confident that I have it, despite 3 different psychs already agreeing I do… and made me feel a lot more comfortable with who I am.

  • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    I’m more than a little convinced ADHD isn’t really a disorder, society is the issue, and this personality/brain type is actually beneficial in simpler societies.

    • SuddenDownpour
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      11 months ago

      When it comes to neurodivergences that aren’t strictly universal negatives (for example: anyone would agree that DID is terrible, while modern autism advocacy strongly opposes any sort of “cure”, and even assimilation as opposed to integration), you can easily find the case that they work great as complements within larger groups. Having an autistic dude fascinated by working materials may result in your tribe being the very first one in the area that gets obsidian spears or composite bows, even if he isn’t a very good hunter otherwise.

      The problem comes when an industrialized, profit-obsessed society attempts to standarize social customs, goods, living spaces and so on while individualizing responsibility for every aspect of your life despite plenty of its factors being outside any one person’s control. Perhaps you’d have a lot to contribute to society if you just had certain unusual accommodations, such as a very quiet house or freedom to set your own working hours, but companies in the contemporary market economy hisses at people who don’t fit like cogs in a machine, and having a house with very specific conditions is outside the reach of a lot of people. Perhaps you do even manage to find the means to become a very productive member of society despite the odds being stacked against you, but because the specificity of your situation means you barely have any negotiation power in the labor market, most of what you produce gets appropriated by someone who isn’t very smart, but has some capital and better “people skills”.

      • naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        11 months ago

        For sure. I am overeducated and chronically unemployed due to basically unsustainable levels of stress trying to not fuck up office work leading to cycles of self destruction and the erosion of my self confidence.

        But I am not unproductive or lazy, I am just not suited to modern life very well. I have a level of reasonable competency at blacksmithing, gardening, first aid, brewing, cheese making, cooking, sewing, foraging, tool maintenance, educating young children, and animal care (also modern useless skills). I can’t sit still much so I’m also pretty fit and enjoy running through forests and keeping track of changes.

        In a different period I’m not saying I’d be the best member of society but I could contribute much more. In earlier times people who were ok at lots of practical things with great memories for strange specifics served very useful roles contributing supplimental food, medicine, and upkeep. I would also probably be much less overwhelmed with distraction without all the modern blinkenlights and ads and such.

        We are all the same apes that walked out of Africa 200,000 years ago. Our brains haven’t changed and it’s inevitable that the more we change our environment from the one we evolved in the more we will induce pathology in otherwise normal, and perhaps helpful, human variation.

    • wizzor@sopuli.xyz
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      11 months ago

      To an extent, it is also beneficial in today’s society. Hyperfocus and fast context switching can be assets in some jobs, if the downsides are not too great and that can depend on the job and colleagues a lot.

      But yea, I can imagine it has been more of an asset in a different time.

      • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I used to work in a particular trade, and i noticed unlike most i worked with, i worked faster and more efficiently as the day went on, by 11 am I’d be right in that hyperfocus groove and my helpers just had so much trouble keeping up. They took advantage of that on occasion, like they could tell me it was quitting time and I’d believe them, an hour early. That only worked twice.

        • el_eh_chase@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          11 months ago

          Could you share what that trade is, even vaguely? I’m curious what kind of job might be suited for someone with ADHD symptoms. I feel it might help me choose a career. No worries if not, and have a good one!

          • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            11 months ago

            If you need/want a high degree of learning: Anything IT related.
            The tempo is so fast paced amd you needing to keep up it can get overwhelming at times if you don’t like it.

            Also closing tire- and cumbersome tickets are a great source of small dopamine shots.

            • el_eh_chase@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              11 months ago

              Thanks for the advice. If I change directions I’m leaning towards something in the realm of IT or electronics technician work. I’d like something with some sort of physical or at least hands on component, or something gameified like you deacribe with closing tickets.

              • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                11 months ago

                In Germany there are job positions called “Fachinformatiker Systemintegration”.
                Basically a trained technician integrating a new component into an existing environmemt.
                This can range from a monitor and a pc to a new server, networking, etc.
                Maybe something like a datacenter technician or something like that might suit you.

                My job atm consists of going to customers onsite to troubleshoot systems or installing/replacing a (new) server but also helpdesk stuff (small company so even lv2 support might have to call) and responding to tickets about stuff not working as intended.
                My mainreason for choosing that role was the field work (or at the company) and not being glued to my desk or other office desk job like a programmer.

                • el_eh_chase@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  11 months ago

                  That’s interesting, thanks for that explanantion. I definitely feel like being glued to my desk is something I’d like to avoid.

                  Maybe I’ll consider moving to Germany now, that could be a whole other adventure.

          • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            Tube and fit scaffolder. Fast paced very physical work, but if you get the bug, it’s a good career that pays well, will keep you in excellent shape, plenty of places have it unionized if you’re into that. A lack of fear of heights is a requirement. here’s a good company that does it, https://www.matakanascaff.com/, its very different than normal scaffolding for painters or whatever.

            • el_eh_chase@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              11 months ago

              Thanks for the reply, that’s interesting. I’ve been on some construction sites and scaffolders definitely earn their pay. From experience, I think work with a physical component is easier to stay focused on, at least for me.

    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11 months ago

      Absolutely, most parts of neurodivergence is evolved to be useful for “wild” humans, hunter-gatherers. Like gee i sure wonder how it might be useful for people living in tents in the wildnerness to have a dude who just cannot go to sleep before 2 in the morning…

      Apprently court jesters were historically generally autistic people, whom the rulers kept around because they wouldn’t sugarcoat stuff and acted like a bullshit detector. Might be pretty handy for a tribe to have some people who’ll speak up when they think the leader is being dumb.

      • Slotos@feddit.nl
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        11 months ago

        That’s not how evolution works. Traits don’t evolve “to be useful”. Anyone who claims a goal to evolution has failed to grasp evolution.

        Evolution converges on local maxima by selecting for traits that are good enough to continuously propagate through the filter of individuals death. For sexual reproduction, if a trait is not bad enough to continuously reduce carriers’ presence in a mating pool, it can and will remain.

        It’s survival of not inadequate enough.

    • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      There are certain aspects of ADHD that would be disordered in any societal structure.

      I have been so hyperfixated on something that I have been completely oblivious to my own body’s signals. As a result I have had accidents, developed UTIs, ended up in the ER with electrolyte imbalances, and dislocated several joints.

      ADHD and joint Hypermobility are closely linked and while more studies are needed to understand exactly why and how, a lot of people with ADHD also meet criteria for Hypermobility spectrum disorders. In my case, I’ll be focused on a task and I won’t realise I’m clenching my jaw too firmly until the sudden sensation of undeniable pain sweeps over me and I realise my jaw has dislocated. Or ill be struggling with transitioning from a task to a rest, even though my knees are in agony, I can’t seem to force myself to stop.

      ADHD is also inherently linked to circadian rhythm disorders, and while yes, delayed sleep phase disorder is only truly a disorder if you’re forcing yourself into a 9-5 lifestyle, ADHD sleep issues are more than just the shifting of the phases. A lot of people with ADHD will describe the sensation of sleep as being “passing out”, because of the way our brains (fail to) regulate dopamine, the way serotonin and melatonin is secreted to create drowsiness is also impacted.

      I don’t get tired or sleepy, I get headaches and blurred vision and spasms in my back, and then I know that I can fall asleep if I lie down. I take sublingual melatonin tincture (I find it works better than tablets) and it’s such a strange phenomenon because about 15 minutes after I take it I feel my eyes are heavy and my body is calm and my mind ia slower, aka, sleepy. I don’t experience that without the help of supplements.

      And sure there’s the argument that you “people with ADHD used to be on night watch duty”, but sleep deprived people make shit guards. If I’m not physically able to fall asleep until I’m “overtired”, and if being tired makes my ADHD symptoms worse, then I’m no good for anything.

      It’s also not like hyperfixations are a super power (God I hate that way of framing things) I can’t choose when or why they happen. If I could, I’d be good at just job, instead, I’m loosing all sensation in my feet because I’m stuck in a fixation trying to pick at the skin on my thighs because I spotted one single ingrown hair while I had my pants down sitting on the toilet. Now it’s 40 minutes later, my alarm is going off in the other room, and I’m frozen, unable to transition away from this task.

      ADHD is a spectrum, and for many people there are strengths, but it’s most definitely a disorder and for a lot of people, even if we lived in the most utopian ADHD friendly society, there are still internal issues to face.

      For the record, I am unmedicated and always have been due to a heart condition, so maybe my view on the condition would change if I had different treatment and management options available to me.

      • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I’m 42 and can put my legs behind my head and clenches his jaw, but i feel like this is written by someone enjoys methamphetamine.

        • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          If I ever try methamphetamines, I’ll let you know if it worsens or lessons my negative experiences of having ADHD.

      • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I was reading your study, and got to the part where they said it is hard to empirically test this theory because of limited genome whatever, and it crossed my mind Africans don’t carry the neanderthal DNA Europeans do, so i looked up if ADHD was more common in either race and it apparently is much more prevalent in white people. Yeah correlation isn’t causation but it is interesting.

        • Snowman@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          I haven’t done too much research into ADHD (which I don’t have) but if it’s anything like autism (which I do have) then it may well be that it’s just massively under diagnosed in people who aren’t rich, white, boys. I know they aren’t the same but that’s certainly the case for autism, and there is a high rate of co-occurrence between the two.

          • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            Some articles mentioned something along those lines, but they seemed more written with an axe to grind, and more from the states. The rich part I can’t speak to, but autism is just plain more common in whites than blacks, not underdiagnosed, to my understanding. Ed girlfriend used to work with the autistic, and in a heavily multicutural city where white people are not a clear majority, nearly all the severely autistic she worked with were white/iranian/middle eastern/ other whitish varieties it seemed, hardly any black or asian.

      • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Err…I guess I read a paragraph and went to do something more interesting.

    • xkforce@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Thing is… you cant magically fix society with the snap of your fingers. And theres stuff you NEED to do that you dont want to even in a star trek style luxury space communist utopia. eg. I have to use reminders/timers to do things like take medication, drink water, chores etc. There isnt really a way to “fix” society so that that is no longer true. I have to take medication. I have to drink water. I have to wash my clothes and clean up after myself. Everyone does.

      ADHD is probably akin to a tribe. One that arguably has its advantages like hyperfocus, creativity and sensitivity to emotions (empathy) but it is at the cost of a tremendous amount of inertia when it comes to doing stuff and executive dysfunction that requires you to compensate for.

    • banneryear1868@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Yeah complex issue but I definitely think it’s become more of an issue in a highly specialized professional service economy. In previous structures maybe you were dependent on growing food and there were harsher consequences which would have been motivators. Or even in recent history, well paying jobs that required physical labor and little education. We know people in the past exhibited all kinds of issues, but the language used to describe is often hard to translate. They wouldn’t just not know adhd exists, but lack the understanding of the mind to even quantify disorders like this, and there would be an entirely different set of concepts and language.

      • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Or even in recent history, well paying jobs that required physical labor and little education.

        Sometimes people tell you who they are accidentally…anyways the classic philosophers talk about concepts that are pretty clearly closely related.

    • molave@reddthat.com
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      11 months ago

      So in the second season of Prison Break, they’ve already broken out of prison, but the name works once you realize that society is a prison.

    • Zeon@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      As someone diagnosed with ADHD, I find many of these posts overly dramatic. I understand that dealing with it is challenging, but when I see others discussing it, I sometimes feel that some might not genuinely have ADHD and are merely exaggerating for attention.

      • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        pretty much the biggest inconvenience for me was getting people to write stuff down. Like when they’d try talk for five minutes about how they wanted something built, explicit instructions, I’d always have to remind them, write it down or draw it, if you want me to understand, we’ve been over this for years now, you know I know how to do the work once the desired result is presented in a way i can understand.

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    I hate explaining ADHD to people because it’s a completely unintuitive disorder. It’s like “I’m easily distracted” yet at other times I’m completely incapable of tearing my focus away from something. I have continual thoughts of things unrelated to my current focus, and other times I can’t think of anything at all, I just can’t hold on to any thoughts. I’m fidgety, almost all the time, but I can sit still and drive a car on the freeway for several hours with absolutely no issues.

    It’s like, for every symptom I have of the disorder there’s always a “but sometimes” caveat that is present. It’s just a nightmare to try to make someone understand especially when they’ve never struggled with the disorder or anything like it. It’s a complete conundrum.

    • Ann Archy@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I have no problem staying committed to a task when my life depends on it. For all other cases meh.

    • Dulusa@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It’s not that you don’t have attention, what your lacking is the control over your attention. This means that you have a harder time directing your attention to what is “necessary”.

      The result of this might be not being able to focus your attention on something, but it can show also as not being able to shift the attention away from something.

      It’s actually not two different sides but rather the same.

      • hglman@lemmy.ml
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        11 months ago

        I would say for me it’s that most aspects of life lack necessity and so are hard to find engaging.

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@reddthat.com
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      11 months ago

      Feel like my forgetting where I put things have any exceptions that aren’t average NT on my best days or because I have a system that most of the time works (it’s been a while since I’ve had to search for my wallet and keys because the basket is right at the front door now and immediately getting out of work clothes is a top priority, so removing the usual pocket stuff as I enter happens 95% of the time - the atypical stuff usually gets accidentally left in the pockets and remembering to lock the door on my way in is still RNG).

    • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      I like to describe a normal persons focus as a laser, it has a good balance between being able to aim and its power

      Meanwhile adhd is an extremly high power Death Star laser, however you cannot aim it at all for better or for worse

    • UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT
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      11 months ago

      Totally it’s like when you’re a kid and you say “I’m not hungry” and then someone brings out a cake and you’re like “well obviously that doesn’t count for cake” but it’s 100 PERCENT TRUE

  • prettybunnys
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    11 months ago

    Oh. Good. I’d gone a few minutes without doing this mental check, thank you for putting it back in there for today. 🫠

    • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Welcome to the gang. The natural follow up question then is that if it indeed is weed then which is worse; the ADHD-like symptoms or living without weed.

      I’ve heard about many ADHD’ers unknowingly treating their symptoms with weed. Weed is especially addictive for us because it helps us feel better. Atleast in my own case it allows me to have long uninterrupted trains of thought. Like instead of the same thought just looping around it actually starts moving forward logically.

      • 🐍🩶🐢@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        For some reason, the substance abuse genes skipped me, though it runs in the family. I have very firm rules on over indulging on weed. I have thankfully never had an alcohol problem and “failed” miserably at nicotine addiction. Hell, I somehow tested negative a couple months ago for weed when my doctor had to do his required Adderall confirmation test, and he tests at 10, instead of 20 or 50. If my depression ever gets the better of me and I feel like I am overdoing it to cope, I just stop for a while.

        Finding the right strains that play well with my body and head can be a challenge at times. How do other people figure that out or deal with it? I have severe muscular issues and getting muscle spasms is rough. Or worse, it makes me hyper aware of the pain that I usually ignore. I have one or two that actually help with the pain some, but I can’t always get those. Freak Show is probably my favorite for that and it puts me in a good mood too.

    • Slakeindagrass@lemmy.ml
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      11 months ago

      Hahaha - this is my train of thought too! Didn’t smoke for the month of November as an experiment. Started dreaming vividly, but no improvement in my awake state.

      I’m assuming a 1-month break probably wasn’t enough for my brain to re-build neural connections… but how long of a break is! Maybe I’ll try again?

      How are you ‘figuring this out’?

      • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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        11 months ago

        I needed to give up weed for a while for a hormone test. A month is exactly how long I had to take a break.

      • Rodeo@lemmy.ca
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        11 months ago

        It takes 30 days to detox from weed entirely. So a month is the minimum, personally I’ve found I don’t start noticing improvement until I’ve been sober for about three months, because sleep gets messed up for longer than it takes to detox. You have to go all the way through the withdrawal symptoms until you’re sleeping healthily again, then you’ll start to notice improvements in life. Small, incremental improvements.

    • Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Maybe I’m just a douche and don’t care about others enough to remember what they tell me. But I do care, I think.

      This is also me but since people in general still seem to like me despite me considering myself a bit of an asshole I’m then also wondering that maybe I’m just a charismatic psychopath that manipulates people.

  • 1ostA5tro6yne@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    i was diagnosed early in childhood. my parents chose to believe it was fake and more than once actually pleaded with me to explain why beating me senseless every other day didn’t make the behavior stop.

      • 1ostA5tro6yne@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        11 months ago

        oh they still are, mom likes to work “subtle” transphobia into every single conversation so she can act like a victim when I point it out, and my dad told me in so many words to go fuck my freeloading self for wanting to crash his guest room and stop being lazy and sensitive when I found myself unemployable and facing homelessness after moving to be closer to family after my wife took her own life and my living situation fell through. good christian folks you know?

        • TopRamenBinLaden
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          11 months ago

          Damn that is so fucked up, and I am so sorry to hear that. That family doesn’t deserve you. I hope you find your true family someday.

          • 1ostA5tro6yne@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            11 months ago

            I am very lucky to have landed in a lovely and accepting community where people truly care about each other, and as a bonus the landscape is jawdroppingly beautiful, so at least a there was a good outcome at the end of it. The US South is no place for anyone who isn’t cis, het, white, male, nominally “Christian” in a way that would absolutely shock Jesus of Nazereth to his core, and neurotypical, and it’s mindblowing to me how much better my general mental state is just for being away from that culture.

        • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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          11 months ago

          and this is why i have a profund desire to start a commune that just freely gives people housing and spaghetti, no questions asked

        • SuddenDownpour
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          11 months ago

          What the hell. That sounds painful. I know it’s not much, but at least accept my virtual hugs if that’s worth anything.

  • nman90@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I thought this a couple of years ago, even though i was diagnosed at 5 (29 now). It’s funny how i went my whole life thinking it was just the stereotypical adhd is just hyperactivity and laziness because the doctors never really tried to explain how this disorder could affect me. I decided to look it up studf about adhd and am deeply conflicted by how it literally explains my entire life and behaviors even though i thought i had it under control. On one hand im glad there is something that explains a lot of my struggles and medical issues but on the other i feel like my entire personality is just dictated by adhd and that i never really had as much freedom of choice as i thought i did.

    • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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      11 months ago

      I feel like the more you understand how your brain works, the more you learn how to work around it.

      Full disclosure: I’m not diagnosed, but on a waitlist for ADD - for over a year now and it’s not moving, but I digress. I am diagnosed with autism though.

      To me it feels like my brain is a wildwater. You can’t control it, but if you change the environment around it, you can guide it into useful directions. I’m lucky that by now the people around me have accepted it and are able to laugh with me when I fuck up. We have a lot of systems in place to reign in the worst effects, and the more we get used to it the easier it gets not to fall into traps and not to be unreliable.

      I guess I’m working on my skills as a mindbender who tricks my brain into being useful while still allowing it to get that dopamine?

      • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Oh i know this one. You’re arguing with your brain, right? Like it’s telling you all sorts of wrong shit, but generally you catch it before you say anything silly, like North is South, etc, and this is easier when you’re not tired or after a couple cups of coffee? But, sometimes, that brain gets directly in charge of your mouth without you editing it?

        • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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          11 months ago

          More like sweettalking it? Like, brain is impulsive and wants instant gratification, and I’m like, “but if we finish this before, we could have this!” since I’m trying to set up my life in a way that I can coax my impulses into something productive.

          I don’t think my brain tells me much wrong shit. More like “wouldn’t it be fun to tip this precariously stacked thing over and watch the chaos unfold…?” But I usually have a pretty good handle on this x)

          I guess it’s more setting up everything so the impulses go a productive way instead of them scattering. And bribing the brain x)

          • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            But you are arguing with it, there’s your brain and then there is you, keep an eye on that impulsive toddler? Old greek philosophers talk of this to, in strange language that doesn’t make sense, unless it happens to you.

            • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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              11 months ago

              Yeah, I found the concept of the inner child very helpful. I think because of my upbringing I got disconnected from this and now I’m trying to not act yowards my inner child like my parents acted with me, but instead with love and patience and convincing instead of forcing. The more I do that, the easier it gets and the more cooperative the inner child becomes, because it is heard and believed and that is the basic for compromise imho.

              • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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                11 months ago

                oh ffs is that where the “inner child” came from? I just read a bunch of greek philosophy that seemed to indicate arguing with an inner voice, that in my experience feels like a kid. Even the Odyssey had a child like feel.

          • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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            11 months ago

            I feel the same way but slightly different, for me it’s less sweet talking the brain and more that the brain tells me what we need and i come up with as good of a way to achieve that as possible.

            “Orders from above! We need pizza posthaste!”
            - “Very well, let’s walk to the grocery store and buy a frozen pizza, that way we burn some calories and the pizza is cheap.”

            • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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              11 months ago

              Oh, interesting. To me it doesn’t feel like orders, more like nagging? And the more I say no the more I want it. After I was able to afford things, my impulse buying went way down, because I didn’t instantly think “no”, but instead went “I could. But then I would use it once, and it would be in the way for the rest of my life, and it’s a hassle” and all of a sudden thinking about the consequences makes me go “you know, maybe I don’t need it after all…”

              • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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                11 months ago

                well it’s not orders in the sense of “do this or else”, more in the sense of a captain commanding his ship, you really want to listen to the captain because they generally know what needs to be done

                i guess a better way of putting it is like sneezing, yes you can hold in a sneeze but apparently that can result in your fucking throat tearing open so PROBABLY don’t do that, instead you can sneeze into your elbow rather than into someone’s face.

                • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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                  11 months ago

                  Ahhh, that makes more sense. Yeah, when it comes to food atm I generally listen to my body even though it may be not the healthiest option. My main reasons are 1) that I believe you typically crave the nutrition your body desires and 2) it’s a “pick your battles” situation.

                  If you try to change everything at once cause you’re fed up and decided your life needs to finally get back on track after an eternity of slacking, you’re setting yourself up to fail. I know, I’ve failed umpteenth times that way 😔

                  So I decided what area to focus on and in those areas I’m like the first officer who offers commentary to the captain when the captain makes a decision (cause captain is impulsive and often doesn’t even ask for comments before making that decision). I’ve fould a way to “phrase it” that makes the captain consider things I say and sometimes we change course.

                  Food/weight is not among the areas I’m actively involved in right now cause my energy is just not enough to change my eating habit while fighting my other habits. I’m still trying to keep it within boundaries that I decided on first, so I’ll detail the compromise that I made with myself below. If that bores you, feel free to skip :) Most of it involves reasoning with myself, though, which I also like to frame as compromising with the inner child. I guess I just think of my impulsivity as someone to reason with, and you win some, you loose some?

                  I work in IT and sit a lot, though, so if I constantly crave chocolate I do question myself if this is just one of the following three:

                  • being bored. You wouldn’t believe how often I just go open the fridge not out of hunger, but of boredom! I trained myself to always focus on my stomach when I open the fridge door and see if , I’m actively hungry before I decide anything
                  • I’m so frustrated with something that chocolate/something sweet is needed to regulate my mood
                  • this is is one of the moments where evolution has trained me to scream “sweet stuff! This is a rare treat! You cannot ignore this gift from the gods!” Because sugar is so rich in energy and that was really important in the stone age where you used a lot.

                  Being bored and the sweet stuff moments I go, well, this is not a healthy reason to snack, what can I do instead? With frustration I more often than not give in.

    • SoleInvictus@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It’s weird, isn’t it? I was diagnosed as an adult, just a couple of years ago, and it was surreal how much sense it made of my entire life. I’m now on guanfacine which makes me feel like I have a superpower, but it’s really just being able to remember things, notice more things, and concentrate for more than two seconds.

    • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      No dude. your personality isn’t dictated by adhd, it’s literally a part of your personality. You maybe do need to just start forcing yourself to do stuff you don’t want to though. If you remember.

  • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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    11 months ago

    Whether you “officially” have ADHD or just the symptoms, it’s not your fault. It’s your responsibility.

      • ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.de
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        11 months ago

        I partially agree with you. What angers me is the fact that your comment reads like it’s a simple issue of will and everyone has just to decide on doing this. Not like it’s kind of part of a lot of (not so crippling but still) disorders to sit there, do nothing and scream internally about not being able to do something about it. It’s very hard work to change something about it. And your comment does not acknowledge this…

      • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        While I can speak first hand of the ruinous effects of ADHD medication and the need to approach them with care - even avoiding them if it’s reasonable to do so, I disagree this one-size fits all approach - although I think it’s applicable most of the time.

  • Daxtron2@startrek.website
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    11 months ago

    It doesn’t help that every asshole on the Internet suddenly has a psychology degree to tell you you don’t actually have ADHD/autism.

    • Captain_Waffles@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Ugh, self appointed internet psychiatrists are the worst. I’ve been told so many times I don’t have things I am diagnosed with. All because I won’t give a random internet stranger enough proof. Or because apparently it’s impossible for a doctor to cause trauma.

      • Daxtron2@startrek.website
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        11 months ago

        Like you said, it’s a spectrum. Your kids high support needs don’t invalidate those of us who have lower support needs and have been masking our entire lives.

          • good_girl@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            11 months ago

            What’s wrong with you?

            You understand it’s a spectrum but you’re claiming that unless someone needs heavy support they’re faking it? Fuck any diagnosed kids then if they’re not heavily autistic.

            It’s literally this attitude that keeps so many people from getting a diagnosis and receiving any help they might need. This attitude makes people think “Oh im not the perfect model *insert neurodivergency*, I don’t want to take away resources from anyone else, I’ll just cope for the rest of my life and go on living like this wondering why I feel so different than other people”

            Respectfully, fuck you.

            Actually fuck that you don’t deserve my respect.

            The meme you’re responding to exists because of your attitude and people like you.

            • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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              11 months ago

              When I read your comment the first time and saw the “respectfully” I thought, wow, you are more polite than I have been x) it made me chuckle to see you reconsider (rightfully, in my opinion).

              Edit: forgot a word

      • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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        11 months ago

        As someone diagnosed after much fighting in my thirties who still has every new doc trying to tell me I can’t have it: fuck you. People like you are the reason no one believes the people who are skilled in masking because they got abused enough as kids so they don’t even knowwho they are underneath the mask.

  • Phegan@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    At age 41, I just figured out I have ADHD, I assumed my entire life that I had a complex set of flaws.

    • OfTheScarletChorus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      11 months ago

      I am 50. After reading a lot about the subject, I also suspect I am affected - my whole life. Getting an appointment with a psychiatrist to be sure right now. It would explain so much…

      • citrusface@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Well good luck - Vyvanse has a generic version now and has been working wonders for my 40 year old self… Except for the insomnia tonight.

        • drev@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          It’s best to take vyvanse no later than 12-14 hours before you expect to go to bed, but some people need longer. Try taking 500-1000mg vitamin C a couple hours before bedtime, maybe also some magnesium just before you go lay down.

          The vitamin C is particularly effective in flushing out any residual vyvanse in your system to prevent it from keeping you awake, and the magnesium will help you fall asleep. Zinc-magnesium supplements are also common, and the extra zinc is needed for your body to produce dopamine (which is something that is put under stress with ADHD medication releasing so much of it).

          • citrusface@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            Oh I took it at 10am yesterdsy. I didn’t fall asleep until 630 am. I was up at 730? So a solid hour.

            Thanks for the vitamin c tip. I will try that

            Edit: should also mention that I just stepped up to 40 after having taken 30, but hadn’t been able to get any for a few weeks, so I’m gonna check it up to a bit of system shock. I’m sure it will level out after a few days, I wasn’t having trouble sleeping on 30

            • drev@lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              No problem! It’s a cheap solution for me, but everyone is different ofc. As a 75kg guy who’s struggled with insomnia from birth, I can wake up way too late after losing sleep, then take my 70mg dose at 15:00 and still fall asleep by 22:00 if I take 1000mg vitamin C by 20:30

              I see magnesium+zinc supplements labelled ZMA in health/fitness shops, highly recommend something like that too if you normally have trouble falling asleep anyway. It knocks me out quickly, works wonders for my sleep quality, then the next day the meds are even more effective/helpful because I got such great sleep.

              • citrusface@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                I’m gonna give this a few days to see if my body gets used to it again, I’m feeling tired now, but obviously only running on an hour of sleep.

                But if the insomnia keeps up I will def give that a try, probably move my multivitamin to nighttime rather than the morning

                • citrusface@lemmy.world
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                  11 months ago

                  I was able to fall asleep by 3am last night - so I think after a few more days insomnia won’t be an issue, but I do think I’ll move to taking my multivitamin at night alone with extra vitamin c

                  Thanks for the tip!

        • blazeknave@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Same age. CVS has been out for two weeks. Glad I finally got my life in order thanks to Vyvanse only to realize it’s a temporary fix once it’s unavailable.

          • citrusface@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            Have you used their mail order service? They don’t have a shortage at all. CVS / Caremark - I get 90 day supply of generic Vyvanse for $75

            • blazeknave@lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              Tf?? I get everything else through care pass but they won’t deliver this bc drug schedule. I’m in SF, maybe just a local law? Or California?🤷

              In fact, my Dr can’t prescribe more than 30 days. Even if she does three months, I have to show up ON the 30th day, no sooner, hoping it’s in stock.

              It’s been 3 weeks. I think when I get it, I’m going to continue a break for another month and save for next emergency

              • citrusface@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                You might be able to get around that buy having the meds delivered to a CVS pharmacy - call your insurance and ask, they will help you navigate your state laws.

                Also I’m just as surprised as you on the 90 day thing. But I talked with my doc and they said I just need to visit twice a year for consultation and adjustment but they will do 90 mail direct to my house with Caremark… I just have to be there to sign for it.

        • Ann Archy@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Amphetamine is great, isn’t it. The Germans knew what they were doing! Most of the time.

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      I figured it out last year, I was 39. You’re in good company.

      I just couldn’t figure it out until I came across information about ADHD and everything clicked. I’d be lying to say that I haven’t had moments of self doubt and imposter syndrome like the op suggests.

      To me, at the end of the day, whether I’m actually ADHD or not, I have very similar tenancies and traits and the treatment works for me. That’s all that really matters.

    • downhomechunk@midwest.social
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      11 months ago

      Late bloomer here too! My 39th birthday gift was my first adderall xr and a taste of what it’s like to think about either nothing or just one thought of my choosing.

      • lobster
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        11 months ago

        38 here, about two or three months into Adderall XR after a late diagnosis. It’s insane how much of a night-and-day difference being medicated is.

        I’m actually able to adequately track my daily work tasks without scrambling around trying to find a thread to remind me. I’m able to sit and just work without having that pull to do something more enjoyable. I’m able to stop bouncing everywhere and just sit still.

  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I absolutely love this take and I can relate.

    – humor dissection to follow –

    In reality though, it’s possible, but Occam’s Razor would have us disagree. And a pragmatic take on all that would be: does it matter, especially if treatment and coping mechanisms also work in both cases?

    Also, as a fellow ADHD-er I strongly believe that diagnosis is not an excuse; it merely explains how and why. Responsibility still lies with the afflicted regardless, with an ethical responsibility towards others for those that are self-aware.

  • Leg@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    This is unironically me. I just went through a lengthy diagnosis process that determined I do not in fact have ADHD, despite ticking an alarming number of boxes. I call myself ADHD-adjacent now.

      • Leg@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I’m considering a second opinion, after a rest period. The process took a lot longer than it was supposed to and stressed me out quite a bit. The person who started my assessment left the company before she could finish, so someone else had to take over, and no one knew this fact. Took months to get an answer. Sigh.

    • UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT
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      11 months ago

      Wow does that feel worse? I mean ADHD or no, you’re still beholden to your neurology to some degree.

      Even if isn’t a common diagnosis for the kind of thing you are.

      • Leg@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        It felt pretty bad at first. I wanted to be able to help myself somehow, and I thought this was a great place to start. It was like starting back at square one. But practices and therapies that assist with ADHD also tend to help me out, so at least I got something out of it.

        • UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT
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          11 months ago

          Hmmmm I dunno, if get a second opinion, if you’re that closely aligned with ADHD. It could be that you just have a “lighter” case? Anyway, I’m not a doctor, but if you’re still struggling and using coping mechanisms, then to me that says you would maybe benefit from other help too.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
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    11 months ago

    “What if I don’t actually have ADHD, I simply share some behavioral issues that make it seem like ADHD because I was raised by parents who did have ADHD and I just kind of adopted it from them?” - Me, like once a week since getting diagnosed.

  • kameecoding@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Remember watching a video like a year ago about how intelligent people with ADHD do at school and it was like a 17 minute video and it was like the guy was talking about me the whole time, but you know, maybe it’s just a coincidence