• 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
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    11 months ago

    Go is like snakes: you’re hatched from an egg and pretty much effective from the get-go. The older you get, the bigger prey you can eat, but otherwise things don’t change much since you were hatched. Your species can thrive in almost any environment, you’re effective, you have all the tools you need straight out of the egg.

    Rust is like humans. There’s a huge incubation period, and you’re mostly helpless when you’re born, but the older you get, the more effective you become with the tools nature graced you with. And you, like Thanos, are inevitable, even if it does mean the death of billions.

    Python is like beaver. Everyone has an opinion about you: some think you’re cute, some think you’re wierd. You’re perfectly suited to your environment, but things get awkward outside of your natural habitat - you can function, but not as well as when you’re in your comfort zone. And when people encounter you where they’re not expecting, they can be unpeasantly surprised, and you can cause them trouble.

    C++ is like platypus. You resemble some other more simple, some might say sane, animal, but developed into a sort of frankenstein monster creature made from a jumble of parts and a stinger that, when it kills someone, comes as a shock. Every part of you serves some purpose, even if it seems tacked-on and out of place.

    Then there’s Node. You are everywhere. You are legion. You fill up ecosystems. People try to defend you, claiming that you serve some purpose in the foodchain, but there’s scant evidence. Attempts to eradicate you fail. You often spread deadly disease. You breed, rapidly, persistently, relentlessly. You are widely hated, and yet everwhere.

    Edit: typo

    • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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      11 months ago

      These are excellent.

      I need to add Perl.

      Perl is a honey bee. You are unassuming and pragmatic. You fill every niche. Your buzzing carries meaning, but only to other bees. In theory, your ecosystem niche is filled by many competing solutions that are more fit to purpose. But somehow we all know in our hearts that if you disappear, all life on the planet will probably die soon after.

        • Holy shit. This thing sounds insanely awesome, but also quintessentially Perl. Like, the perfect holotype for Perl.

          And, damn, but I’m impressed. I’ve seen code that I admired; elegant, inspired, wise code… but the Evil Mangler leaves me in awe.

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            There is a very strange, and maybe unexpected, cultural overlap between Perl and Haskell: It’s definitely possible to produce write-only Haskell, and once you get good enough writing Haskell it becomes very inviting to do so. It’s generally going to be a tiny bit more robust, probably a bit slower, and do dirty things with syb regexen could never dream of. While Perl will rip a DFA through a html file while hoping for the best, Haskell will respect the tree structure and then bend it into eldritch knots, leaving you with a file that’s like 50 lines of parser combinators (“it works on my files”) and then five lines of completely inscrutable magic doing the actual processing.

    • CanadaPlus@futurology.today
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      11 months ago

      So then I guess C is salamander. Also lays eggs and lives by a pool, but doesn’t do anything extra, and is a necessary step before most of the other modern languages.

      COBOL is a coelacanth. To everyone’s surprise, they’re still out there. We thought they were an old, very extinct example of a non-terrestrial lobe-finned fish, but they actually hung on in some odd environments. They cause massive indigestion to anyone that has to consume them.

      If Node is a mosquito, Javascript itself is another hymenopteran: the yellow jacket wasp. Just as hated, and with a tendency to injure handlers, but widely successful and defended as filling an actual useful role in nature. They build delicate, arguably pretty nests.

    • uis@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      C++ compiler:

      Error: missing ‘;’ on line 69

      Warning: two statements on same tabulation depth after if without curly brackets on line 123. Are you sure you want this?

    • herrvogel@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Sql errors: there be a syntax error roughly over there I think. Or maybe it’s a semantic error somewhere else I’m not entirely sure. Listen man all I can say is that this one comma there definitely has something to do with it probably, and the error is most certainly either to its left or to its right.

      • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        JSON parsers are getting me recently. The error is somewhere on or after row 1, char 1. Maybe.

        Possibly it’s a BOM issue, or someone used double quotes typed on a Mac keyboard. Good luck.

  • magic_lobster_party@kbin.social
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    11 months ago

    I would swap Python with C++. Constantly dealing with stupid runtime errors that could’ve been easily captured during compile time.

    Did you forget to rename this one use of the variable at the end of the program? Sucks for you, because I won’t tell you about it until after 30 minutes into the execution.

    • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      you need a linter, bro

      when integrated into the editor it’ll highlight stupid mistakes as they’re typed

      I recommend Ruff for real time checks, and pylint if you need a comprehensive analysis.

      • darcy
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        11 months ago

        sure, but thats just outsourcing the problem.

        • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          As if that’s a bad thing… it means you’re not locked in with a tool you don’t like and the language itself doesn’t dictate your workflow.

          There’s very little benefit and a lot of potential problems in using a single tool for everything.

      • aidan@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Yea and C++ is the same thing, you just need to enable all the warnings on clang-tidy

        • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          👆 definitely linting first 👆

          finding errors as you type is even better than finding errors at compile time

        • R0cket_M00se@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Shouldn’t be forgetting for one off scripts either, if that’s the logic you want to go with.

          The tool exists, either you do it or you don’t and end up getting an error until the interpreter hits that line. It’s just the nature of being compiled at runtime.

          • magic_lobster_party@kbin.social
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            11 months ago

            “Ohh, I got all these numbers I want to crunch using numpy or pandas and plot it using matplotlib. Hold on, I just need to write unit tests first.”

              • magic_lobster_party@kbin.social
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                11 months ago

                TDD only works well if the problem is clearly specified before the first line of code has been written, which is rarely the case when I need Python for something.

                • So which is then? You want a one off script to just quickly crunch some numbers on a problem you still need to understand? Because that is where it is perfectly normal to get some errors and doodle around. That is the entire point of it.

                  Or you have a concise concept of what you are going to do, and how and why? Because that is what you do, when you program more than a “one off”.

                  Either you go to the store with a shopping list and you work through that list or you go browsing and see what comes up. But don’t expect to be as fast and have everything you needed, when you dont write your shopping list at home.

            • Fushuan [he/him]@lemm.ee
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              11 months ago

              Then maybe use an editor with a decent linter and check the problems tab or just red line markers?? I also have those kind of runtime errors sometimes but I take the blame.

        • Kache@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          What kind of quick one off scripts have large complex scopes where variable renames are difficult to track?

          Besides, these days Python has great LSPs and typing features that can even surpass the traditional typed langs

          • magic_lobster_party@kbin.social
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            11 months ago

            Mostly number crunching and data exploration tasks. Just so I can make informed decisions about the data I got. I do this rarely enough so it hasn’t been worth for me to install all these extra third party support wheels.

          • Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            It doesn’t need to have large complex scopes. I have the brain of a goldfish. I program because it’s challenging. It’s challenging because I’m bad at it.

    • nxdefiant@startrek.website
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      11 months ago

      You can solve this with git:

      git gud

      Seriously though, writing a monolith of a function and not testing anything until you run it the first time isn’t the way to go. Even with a compiler you’re only going to catch syntactical and type issues. No compiler in the world is going to tell you you forgot to store your data in the correct variable, although it or a a linter may have helped you realize you weren’t using it anywhere else.

      • Johanno@feddit.de
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        11 months ago

        Python was typeless. And it was common to reuse variables with different types of content.

        So you at some point never knew what actually is within the variable you are using.

        Using typing in python solve 95% of your problems of having runtime errors instead of compile errors

        • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Agreed. Mypy pre-commit hooks are very useful if you’re starting a fresh project. Adding typing to an existing project which reuses variables with different types… We lost weeks to it.

      • alphafalcon@feddit.de
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        11 months ago

        It doesn’t. It carries you by having a module for absolutely everything even shooting yourself in the foot.

    • Trollception@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I guess as a C# guy I’ve never had to deal with an issue like this. Most of the time the exceptions are pretty easy to diagnose unless it’s in the UI or in some async function.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      11 months ago

      Assembly (Octopus swimming alone since birth): “compiler? what’s a compiler”

      • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Well, that means that it’s also a C++ thing, but streams are an even slicker concept that aren’t a C thing, making higher-level code look nice and shiny - and abstracting away loads of I/O pain points while encapsulating useful features.

        • solrize@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          C++ streams are ugly in their own right, but C++ preferred practice these days is to treat it as its own language rather than as a C superset. That is, lots of crufty old C stuff still works in C++ for legacy reasons, but using it when you don’t have to is considered inappropriate.

    • Alex@lemmy.mlOP
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      11 months ago

      I wasn’t personally using C++, I was using relatively modern C which has had an homegrown object system added to it.

  • capnminus@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Use streams, or fmt. fprintf is for C. It’s like people buying a cheap android phone, then going for an iPhone.

    I don’t blame you though, C++ carries a lot of baggage. Modern C++ is pretty nice, though, as is Rust.

    • force@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      can’t wait to use templates and have the compiler spit out a 120 page autobiography

  • pelya@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    A quick -Werror=format -Werror=format-nonliteral -Werror=format-security will solve all your printf woes.

  • mvirts@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    The meme will be completely different after writing a few lines of rust for a week 😹