Posted this on shower thoughts but Ig here is more appropriate, I feel like lemmy is not the place I remember it being last year.

I really liked the atmosphere of civil arguments and understanding here, which is the reason I started posting actively as well, even though I have always been a lurker, but I feel like I have stopped feeling happy but instead more and more agitated when browsing, I remember people having civil discussions and willing to listen to others, content was low, but what each post produced was really high quality, nowadays though I rarely feel like it

People here have now started acting like as if they are some sort of god gifted individuals who are right in every regard, they love to throw the word ‘propaganda’ around but fail to acknowledge they could be a victim of it as well, I remember we could still have discussions about controversial topics without things getting ugly, nowadays it is not like that, comments get weirdly personal and sometimes even turn into insults and even phobic, people are hell-bent that they are right on certain issues, and never consider any other opinion or that something might be more nuanced than they think

I can be a victim of propaganda too, but what I really loved is that you were able to have healthy discussions and put forward your opinions, which meant you were much more aware of everybody elses opinion and their reasoning, which meant you could see things with different perspectives, nowadays though it is very different, you say something slightly controversial and be prepared for the hate comments (remember the mildy infuriating post? The guy ended up deleting it)

I have learned a lot from lemmy, and I have had wonderful conversations with some of you but I feel like the days where we all were collectively trying to build a good, happy and accepting community are gone, I won’t be surprised if any redditor looked us and thought we are a group of really closed minded people who wont accept anything that is not the common sentiment here

I was a little kid when reddit was gaining traction, so I have no Idea what sort of thing happened, maybe it was similar to this? I would really like if some early reddit adopters who also came here add their comments

One of my favorite moments I remember here is when there was some sort of meme about Ramadan, I clicked hesitantly thinking it’s gonna be a war zone, but I was surprised to see people having fun discussing how people deal with fasting where the sun never sets for months, that feeling was beautiful, I guarantee it will be a different situation now

      • fastandcurious@lemmy.worldOP
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        9 months ago

        I am fine with a prolonged or even a heated discussion, but I am not ok with insults and name calling

        • friend_of_satan@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          It’s interesting to me that this pretty agreeable comment is being downvoted, and in a post about how lemmy might be having less healthy conversations now and in the future. It’s pretty illustrative of the sentiment being asked about in the post.

          Surely people who are arguing about anything at all can agree that insulting people doesn’t lead to a productive outcome. I doubt if anybody has ever been called a name and responded by changing their mind about whatever topic was being disagreed about.

          • otp
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            9 months ago

            It was probably just the downvote train – downvote everything the person says in the chain after they say something wrong.

            Or they looked up OP’s history and saw that the “controversial thing” he said was that public executions are a good thing, and was arguing against everyone no matter what they said or what evidence they provided.

            I’m generally not one to be in favour of name-calling, but when someone won’t listen to reason or evidence that goes against their argument (and has no evidence of their own), there isn’t really much else you can do.

            And some people kinda deserve to be called names. Again, not saying OP deserves it. But where that line is will be different for everyone. And I get it if being “pro-public execution” is past the line of deserving name-calling in some people’s opinion.

            • liwott@nerdica.net
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              9 months ago

              there isn’t really much else you can do

              One could also do nothing. What are the insults supposed to achieve?

              some people kinda deserve to be called names.

              Are you arguing in favor of retributive “justice”? Isn’t it exactly OP’s shitty opinion that they get bullied for?

            • fastandcurious@lemmy.worldOP
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              9 months ago

              I like to think that this post should be independent of that one, but it has become one so I will continue it that way

              If you actually look in those discussions, you will see that I am replying to the same arguments again and again, which might make you believe that I am not willing to accept evidence, go down further my history and you will see that I have also taken back a lot of my statements after I see my mistake, I am not saying I am some sort of perfect being, I make mistakes

              Lets assume that my opinion is wrong, is name calling the way to correct it? I see those people who disagree with me the same way they see me, but you will not find me spouting insults or calling names at anyone unless they start it first (even then I don’t resort to words used above, at most I will say lol or call out their hypocrisy), I was replying the same thing over and over again to different people, and I was perfectly willing to move the discussion forward, I might have learnt something, I didn’t left a single argument unreplied in my knowledge nor did I said any derogatory terms to anyone, but it somehow is justified when they do the same? If you wanna bring a change in someone, do you think you can do it by calling them stupid/dumb or saying they don’t deserve respect? I definitely hold some controversial opinions but never have I ever forced them on someone or called anyone who doesn’t agree with me dumb, I felt like the only way to move forward as a society was to respect everyones choices and opinions as long as they are not forced, but I am starting to doubt most people see it that way

          • fastandcurious@lemmy.worldOP
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            9 months ago

            Thats my entire fucking point, the thing that is gonna correct a wrong opinion of mine is a good argument where the other side actually shows me reason through some means, not smartasses calling me names

            • fastandcurious@lemmy.worldOP
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              9 months ago

              Honestly I am glad I made this post, it has removed a lot of doubt I might have had about this whole community I have been a part of, I was thinking maybe I would be able to read other peoples experiences, what do they think about it, but there is not a single person here who have shared their experience in a meaningful way, just pointless downvotes, generic statements and honestly weird stuff which I don’t even see as relevant to what I said because I said something bad about all these divine beings or merely said something they don’t agree with

              I have always loved this but it has now turned into something that I only use to browse memes after a long day

        • Rhaedas@kbin.social
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          9 months ago

          Maybe your argument isn’t against Lemmy, but against online discussion in general. Heating debates that break into less constructive postings have been around since the days of BBSes and Usenet. I don’t disagree with your point that people should try to act like adults when discussing topics, but a (not so) different format doesn’t change how people are, especially when they feel protected by anonymity to react badly.

          • HopeOfTheGunblade@kbin.social
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            9 months ago

            Usenet is where the term “flamewar” got invented, for discussions that were almost entirely heat and almost no light. It’s very human, really.