I’m at 8 months on HRT as of a couple of days ago.
As for why, the short answer is to find that piece of myself that’s been missing since puberty.
A hormonal transition always felt like something reserved for trans folks. I knew I wasn’t a cis man or a trans woman, but those were my only options in pre-Internet Texas. I told myself I could put up with it because I didn’t really have a choice, and for far too long, I didn’t.
Learning that amab enbies given the choice to tailor their protocol actually do report benefits from HRT was part of a series of significant coincidences and happy accidents that finally got me out of Texas for good.
Once I knew it was an option, it was as if the reality itself conspired to lead me here. Seriously. It’d take me half an hour to type out just the chain of events that culminated in my partners’ accidental adoption of a heat-stressed street husky which got them on board with moving north before I could even broach the subject. I find it’s best to listen when the universe is giving such a clear signal. XD
Hey, so, umm. What are you talking about? What do you mean by
Learning that amab enbies given the choice to tailor their protocol
What makes your protocol different from that of a trans woman?
I’m not taking an anti-androgen, just estradiol, finasteride, and progesterone.
What’s the intended effect? I guess I’m asking what changes are you interested in that makes you not take the anti androgen
I’m actively seeking a mixed gender presentation, so I don’t want to suppress my testosterone entirely. I want to keep my moustache and masculine sexual function, but feminize my body hair, soften my skin, grow some itty bitty titties, and make my figure more curvaceous.
I’d say I’m getting there! =D
I’m looking this up now and it seems like estradiol can supress testosterone alone without an antiandrogen. Are the doses of your other meds lower than what someone fully mtf would take or something?
Progesterone too, but as of my last testing my T levels are still in the low end of the “normal” range for men.
My hormonal dosages are fairly close to the minimum, 2mg oral E and 100mg P. Though, I’m on 5mg of Finasteride and the typical dose for treating hirsutism with that is 2mg.
When I realized I was probably trans, medical transition seemed like an obvious choice. I think if I didn’t need to medically transition, I wouldn’t have socially transitioned. I live in a scary transphobic place, so there is immense pressure to stay in the closet.
I am about eight months into medically transitioning, mtf. Over these last few years, I have been on a journey of taking better care of myself and becoming healthier, happier. I was working out really consistently, and I started to see myself developing a muscular dude body, and I kept looking in the mirror like “I should be happy about this, but I am actually getting further away from how I feel inside.” That’s when it ocurred to me that I have been trying to fit into a box all my life that I don’t fit into, and I started thinking about transition.
This last year has easily been the happiest of my life, and the changes I see in myself bring me joy instead of dysphoria. Not a regret in my mind
That reminds me of those memes where it’s a real buff dude working out on the racks and it says goal physique: picture of a tiny anime girl.
Glad you figured out that a muscular dude body is not for you and are living authentically now. Trans joy is the best.
LMAO, yeah it felt a lot like that. I also felt very silly, like, whoops I guess I was coming at this aallll wrong.
Thank you! Trans joy does kick ass.
Already about 10 months in, and I chose to because I’ve never been happy with my male body and even if I don’t completely pass, I’d still be happy with a more feminine body shape. Plus I have a very strong suspicion that I’m intersex and had some estrogen sensitivity at some point during my puberty (or still do), but that’s not really a reason why I chose to start.
I’ve already been medically transitioned for about three months.
I’ve had crippling dysphoria pretty much since puberty. I would never go out and never wanted to socialize and meet new people because of it. It’s gonna take a while for me not to have significant dysphoria, but now I know that that day will come and I’m not fated to live that way forever.
Dysphoria aside, the hormone itself did wonders on my brain. Around two weeks after taking it, my chronic major depression was greatly reduced. It still has that effect to this day. Almost like my brain’s wired for it.
I plan to get top surgery as soon as possible. Still deciding on bottom surgery. Maybe if there are better options in the future.
I’m concerned about the health issues and long term effects that come with testosterone. There’s not enough research on it. I would prefer not to get heart disease and all that shit but my quality of life has gone up significantly since starting. I was hardly living life since I was such a mess of anxiety and depression, so I figure the tradeoff’s worth it. I really hope I don’t get heart disease…
Also cost… probably gonna get into some debt with top surgery, medication prices, and the costs of changing legal documents. Then student loan debts on top of that. A box of testosterone gel costs $70 with goodrx. I hate the idea of debt, but there’s not much I can do.
That’s really awesome to hear that your depression dialed down so soon after starting T! It’s funny how that works. I have never been happier than when I started E. We switched hormones in opposite directions and both of us ended up happier haha.
I get what you mean about that dread of heart disease. When I started hrt they kept telling me that it might make me get blood clots and die lol. It didn’t happen, at least not so far, but some of those side effects they tell you are quite scary
Probably worth a look at https://costplusdrugs.com/ , $70 sounds kinda high for a med but idk what would be “normal” price for that. Actually I haven’t been on any meds in so long I have no idea what any meds beyond off the shelf stuff costs 😅
As for bottom surgery… if you ain’t got one, you can pick whatever size/color/shape bits you want, at any time, for any occasion, but once a doctors attached something it’s there its… there. And present. Constantly. I’d love to see a future where we can get “grow your own” style bottom “treatments” via CRISPR or something, instead of surgeries.
This website doesn’t list any kind of testosterone, unfortunately. I’m in the US and typically testosterone gel is around $150. It’s a lot more expensive than testosterone injections, which are around $20. I am needlephobic so I take testosterone gel. Also a lot of trans men have more mood swings on injections especially in the last few days before injecting again.
Edit: hi Zorsith I didn’t realize it was you
waves
That’s unfortunate. Don’t think I could handle doing injections on myself either, I’m fine with docs usually but that’s a whole other animal of uncomfortable.
I do want one, but I stumbled across bottom surgery pictures and wooo that was intense. Also recovery is awful from what I’ve heard. There’s also two main options: somewhat normal looking dick but they have to take a skin graft from your arm so you have a permanent scar on there, plus it can’t get erect naturally (phalloplasty). Then there’s teeny tiny micropenis that can get erect but it’s too small to go in anything most of the time (metaoidplasty).
Grow your own would be the ideal…there’s this one episode of South Park which sucks cuz it makes fun of trans women but there’s a whole thing where they figure out how to grow penises on rats and transplant it to humans. That would be so cool.
South Park has its moments. Big Gay Al’s pet store I remember being oddly wholesome, but it’s been nearly a decade since I saw it so idk if it would hold up.
Big gay Al was a good episode. I wish they’d make a good trans episode for once. Their “oops, maybe we were wrong about trans people” episode was super mid.
I do plan to transition, but that is realistically 4-5 years away, which sucks because I’m over 50 and only very recently realized I’m a trans woman. Tempus fugit and all that, but I want it done like tomorrow. So much wasted time already. I know the process needs to happen, but a girl can dream, right?
Why is it 4-5 years away? It’s never too late to transition.
I was this years old when I realized I’m trans and the wait to even start a medical evaluation is about three years where I live and it’ll take a year or two. So before I get to the transition it’ll be at least 5 years. Fuck that’s depressing…
Are you in the UK? I’ve heard about the NHS doing that to a lot of people.
No, a Nordic country. I’m not sure about why the queue is so long, but it is partly because they have trouble recruiting doctors and probably funding. It’s always money, right?
Geez. That’s ridiculous you’d have to wait so long. From what I’ve heard in the UK it’s an intentional thing. I learned about this via the PhilosophyTube exposé and other trans people who live in the UK. Is there much anti trans sentiment and legislation in your country right now?
Also, there’s always going DIY. I don’t have many good resources on it but you could make a post on here and find some and learn about other people’s experiences with it.
[email protected] has a bunch of information on DIY for anyone interested.
The instance it’s hosted on died long ago, but the information is still available.
yes because i’ll probably kill myself otherwise :3
Real
i would if it weren’t prohibitively expensive and i think i have to move out of this fuckhell state first
also it might be super difficult for me to get T regardless if i’m in a red or blue state
I’m in a deep red state and have to travel to a neighboring state (also deep red) to get my t. It’s got to do with the bs age of adult laws. They should have it be the same age everywhere. Why can’t I make my own medical decision but go into the military and vote…makes no sense.
Anyway, might help to research prices on goodrx. A lot of times you can get it significantly cheaper. Injections are the cheapest and are usually only around $20. I found me an informed consent pcp, which made it relatively easy to get it. There’s a large list of clinics and drs in the US by state who will prescribe trans hrt that I can send you if you want.
i have an informed consent clinic in mind (easily accessible by bus too since i cannot drive) but no idea how much the appointment is going to cost me and all my income anymore is from selling unwanted possessions after being denied medicaid and SSDI.
Hmm…there are some grants you can get if you look around online. I came across some a while ago but forgot where I found them. Try trans equality.org and websites like that
Depending on where you live you might be eligible for your state specific expanded medicaid program. I couldn’t find a website that will let you look up what your state calls your plan but https://www.medicaid.gov/state-overviews/state-profiles/index.html will let you know if your state has such a program (all but 10 states have an expansion program). If your state does have an expansion program do a search for “[STATE] + medicaid expansion” to find your state run government website and you can see the eligibility requirements. The common requirements are that you don’t qualify for other assistance (medicaid and SSDI) and that you make less than 138% of the federal poverty level ($20,783) so it sounds like you might qualify.
I was able to enroll in my states medicaid expansion program and get an appointment at an informed consent clinic that accepted the insurance. Both T and E are covered under my states plan but I don’t know if that applies to all states.
i have actually looked into this before, and my state does not offer expanded medicaid, but thank you anyway
I started my medical transition 7 years (and 2 days) ago. Because I’m older, and have been working most of my life, I had funds saved in my government mandated superannuation fund (sort of like a 401K in the US). I was able to access it to cover all of my surgeries using those funds.
I’ve had pretty much every surgery available to trans fem folk, and rushed through them in the first couple of years of my medical transition, and they’ve done a great deal to alleviate my dysphoria, but I’m not sure I’d necessarily do them all the same way again if I had the chance to do over.
HRT cured my depression. I was nervous, but it blew my expectations out of the water.
Same. I never thought I would be off them, but here I am. Really ironic considering all the condescending people who told me I just think I’m trans because I’m depressed.
I started talking testosterone 11 years ago, I’ve only ever been on gel due to a needle phobia, and I had top surgery eight years ago. Testosterone straight up cured my depression (although I’m not sure it should be called depression but whatever) so that was pretty great.
That’s awesome man
I’ll have been on hrt for 1 month in 3 days, it’s been pretty nice. My symptoms were never crippling, but I’ve gone from being essentially dead inside to being able to feel a sense of wonder at the sunset <3 I was very worried that it wouldn’t help as most accounts I’ve read about trans peoples experiences are from people with more severe symptoms, but I figured it was worth a shot.
Also waiting for gel to dry sucks >:|
Im assuming you’re on T since you mentioned gel? I’ll usually put on a muscle shirt in the morning and change once it’s dried or roll up one of the sleeves of a Tshirt.
E is also often applied as gel
I didn’t realize that. I’ve mainly heard people talk about injections and pills.
Many trans fem folk find it hard to get their preferred E levels with gel alone, and micro-dosing E isn’t as popular with trans fem folk as microdosing T is with trans folk, so you don’t hear gel talked about much. But for some people, gel is enough to meet their needs, and for others, it’s the only option that works for them.
It also sometimes gets used as a supplemental form of HRT. When I was on oral estrogen for example, I couldn’t get my E levels where I needed them to be through pills alone, so I took a supplemental gel in addition to the pills.
I’m on E. There are creams, patches, droppers, and sprays as well, but yes pills and injections are the most common (I think).
Edit: Also I don’t apply to the arm, but rather to my nethers, which is why it’s so impractical.
I’m post op (bottom). I made my body the way I wanted my body to be
Which bottom surgery, if you don’t mind my asking.
Vaginoplasty, full depth, US style
Gotcha
Absolutely plan to. Going through the gender dysphoria bible showed me I don’t see a single dealbreaker as far as femminizing HRT goes, and a hell of a lot to gain (or more specifically, lose).
Greatly reduced body hair and redistrubition of future fat (existing fat stays until you work it off I’ve heard) are the big ones for me. A bit more “junk in the trunk” would hopefully make chairs a bit more comfortable.
Already have to shift things around to see my feet (I want to lose a good 40+pounds minimum, more if a doc tells me I’m still overweight). 😅 Never particularly wanted the bits that came stock downstairs. The jumblies could fall off tomorrow and I’d be thrilled (aside from re-learning how to pee, which I imagine is fairly quick to get the hang of, standing is overrated and messy anyway)
Social is the hard part for me; mom would probably be fine, very accepting gem of a lady there. Dad is a crapshoot, not sure I’d care longterm how he reacts. Workplace is… a shitload of old white military veterans with no sense of tact, some of whom were moved to a different area for their behavior. And my dad is in this workplace as well. 😐
EVERYTHING would become a lot easier if I was in a different state. Don’t exactly have much in the way of a friend group as is, not a lot to lose other than closeness to parents and access to one of my favorite places.
Do you plan on getting electrolysis?
I wanna lose weight too. I’m slightly overweight, so it’s not major health wise, but I want that sweet sweet body fat redistribution. It’s the main cause of my dysphoria. It’s been a lot easier to exercise and eat healthy with someone else that lives with me than to do it alone. Way harder to get off track that way (I got off track after they left, rip).
I hope you can get a new job in a different state soon. What do you work in again?
Absolutely plan on electrolysis, got a place bookmarked locally i want to look into once ive got a credit card down more.
IT, thankfully. Can go pretty much anywhere with IT. Currently not the best job market I hear but once the AI craze dies down a bit I’m hopeful things will be more… available. Current job is as stable as it gets (fed), which is great for continuing to get paid, but they call it the “golden handcuffs” for a reason.
I plan to medically transition because that would make me happier. Dysphoria isn’t a big problem for me, it’s there but pretty subtle, so I probably could live as a man for the rest of my life but I would regret it.
