Image: Skeptic child looking at adult woman
Caption: So you’re telling me that you just kind of understand social matters without being taught all of the rules?
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There is only one rule: Post before you leave
Edit: Sorry, wrong community
No prob, Bob 👍
JFC WHY IS THIS ME. I didn’t learn even the most basic social skills until I was like 20, and I’m only now settling myself into even vaguely healthy relationships at the age of fucking 30.
It sucks, right‽ So much lost potential and time. Still, I’m happy to have eventually achieved awareness and the capacity to improve. It gives me something to look forward to, so I’m excited about it too. Things can get better 😀
I still don’t get marriage. If you want to be there for each other, be there for each other. Do you need the slip of paper to remind you of your partner?
No, it’s a legal document that bestows special rights. I didn’t need to marry my wife to prove that I loved her; I needed to because I loved her, and I needed to ensure that we would have favorable legal recognition with respect to property, taxes, and insurance.
I need the slip of paper for tax and inheritance purposes. You CAN get the same things without marriage, but it’s so much more work (and money).
Marriage is a contractual agreement that you’ll be there.
IDK where I was going with that other than making it sound like an awful business transaction.
Contracts are things you do when you don’t trust the other person. How romantic
Same! And why does marriage even have to involved romance or sex? Why does the government care of the sex/genders of those in a marriage? Why can’t people just marry someone based on long-term compatibility and reliability, rather than love and sexual interest? We could all find someone to be married to, then have our romantic and sexual relationships apart from that. I think it would prevent a lot of problems.
Marriage is just a legal status/contract and should be treated as such.
I think it would prevent a lot of problems.
Frankly, it’s hard for me to think of a related idea that would cause more problems.
We’re not from the same country, and a marriage visa is way better than a student visa
They are taught the rules, and are punished for going outside of them. Because they get taught fairly young and they don’t really make a tonne of sense/are often just based in fear of shitty authority figures there’s a lot of incentive to act like there’s something special and intuitive about them. They can’t explain themselves and the act of doing so would expose just how nonsense most of it is. They’re also so used to being told what to do that they have little to no experience adapting for the myriad of different types of people and how they communicate.
Seriously, once you realize that it’s all about making sure that fragile, scared, and/or stupid authority figures feel special the rules do start to make sense but no one wants to admit that.
Examples:
“Don’t talk about X because I’m uncomfortable and don’t know how to handle that in a healthy way.”
“Don’t share your interests because I’m boring as fuck and feel bad.”
“Don’t question why I do things because I find change really hard and feel old/worthless/threatened by people with other ideas.”
“You didn’t understand what I meant when I dodged around the point. How dare you.” One time my ex-girlfriend’s dad asked what our weekend plans were. I was telling him and my ex said “we won’t be home for dinner on Saturday.” Like bro if that’s what you want to know then fucking ask about it.
Seriously, it’s all just bullshit to make up for their massive lack of empathy and communication skills.
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