inb4 “if it’s legal it’s not a crime”
I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).
So i’d do that
I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.
tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here
I’d go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.
I did that at the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam
i got baked in vondelpark before going there
There’s no need due to how awesome it is already, but I totally get it and I bet it must have been absolutely amazeballs.
Great museum, I saw the “Potato Eaters” there.
Before I moved from DC I did that and wandered around the Mall and went to the Hirshhorn with two friends. Lovely day.
IllegalLegal immigration.I didn’t even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports
Why’d you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?
So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It’s a powerful passport
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I mean, reported income at least. I know a few American immigrants that live and work in central and south america, and I know they don’t declare income… at least not 100% of it. But yeah, not doing that and getting caught would be major poopoo bad time.
Why do so many every single year go for us passports and us citizenship?
I would move to Scandinavia, maybe Denmark or Netherlands.
Crime means breaking the law, correct?
No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.
I would:
- expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
- transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
- alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that’s selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
- one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
- remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
- create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
- hold hands with two chicks at the same time
It’s fun to dream of the impossible.
The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.
if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.
Jaywalk then torrent a movie.
It’s crazy that you guys in the US can get a ticket for crossing the road
Freedommm!!
As a non-American, everybody jaywalked back in London. You just go with the crowd when there aren’t that many cars, so you don’t get hit by a car.
I’m a renter, so I’d throw a brick through each window of my property manager’s tesla.
Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7
Hopefully you mean ones still in construction… No need to cause an unprecedented environmental disaster after all.
Rob Fort Knox.
Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.
you still gotta deal with security though remember
But security be off committing their own crimes…
Lol gotem
All that for $0 and a shitty toupee?
It said no murder. 🤷♀️
Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.
I’d like to do some proper money laundering but I’d need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn’t an issue, I’d hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.
Rob a bank.
You’re thinking small fries…
Rob Elon Musk.
If you think billionares have like money in a bank scrooge mcduck style, we’ll I have some sad news for you, they effectively are broke to a normal persons point of view (how much actual cash they have).
Instead they have their “wealth” as stock ownership of companies, get a loan from a bank for whatever they want to buy, and then just pay it back with the growing value of their stocks, that’s how they don’t pay taxes in the US and still get to buy whatever the fuck they want.
Basically, something like this. https://youtu.be/t6V9i8fFADI
Oh, I’m well aware. When I say “Rob Musk” I was thinking of forcing a stock transfer rather than going after his pocket change.
it might be legal but you still have to deal with security
Nuke the world.
That’s not murder; it’s a war crime.
> Tries to rob a bank
> gets shot
Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!
Banksssss! Rob banks! Then use that money to buy snacks forever!
That’d require planning tho.
