I’d like to report mod activity that’s not following sitewide rules on your server and instead bans people because they feel it’s not worth their time. I would like for the mod to be overlooked.

The sitewide rule #1 says I can expect to participate without harassment and feel welcome. If I call a mod to look over a user breaking this rule, I should expect them to intervene, right?

So I don’t understand why @[email protected] is deleting all my comments and banning me instead of the person being aggressive towards me because “both sides of the argument are nonsense” without even bothering with the actual concern. I didn’t call them over to look at anyone’s argument, I specifically stated in my report that the other person was being extremely disrespectful.

So now I’m banned:

Banned Lemminary from the community Curated [email protected] reason: troll expires: in 30 days

Their excuse? I’m a troll, apparently. I invite anyone to check the messages to see if that’s true or if I’m merely sharing my opinion.

I don’t care about the ban–keep it that way. But please let me know if something is being done about these mods who enjoy pushing people around. It’s infuriating that on top of being dog-piled on, berated & insulted in the thread all day (I got links), I also get treated this way by the people who have taken on the role of protecting users. If I hit the report button, I entrust the person in charge to keep a level head and do their job fairly.

Thank you for your time.

  • [email protected]A
    151·
    3 months ago

    Regardless of the initial thread, sending abuse through DMs is a bannable offense for which we’ve very little toletance, if any.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
      39·
      3 months ago

      Please point out the abuse. The curse words? That’s not abuse. lol

      And what about all the abuse I keep enduring that has followed me back to this thread? Why is there a lot of tolerance for that and for people accusing me of many thing like being disrespectful and ban evasion? Why is this ok?

      • [email protected]A
        171·
        3 months ago

        Seeing as you’re evidently not banned, this was, essentially, a warning.
        Not even just for you but something I repeat here whenever the subject comes up because…
        Lemmy is dumb: recipients can’t delete DMs, ever, only senders. These DMs are then forever stuck in the recipient’s inbox unless an admin with database access deletes it for them.

        I don’t usually bother, but since you asked and lemmy DMs aren’t private (reminder to heed the warning on the DM page) :

        https://lemmy.world/u/Lemminary 2024-09-09 04:06:22.219219+00 Who cares about the fucking argument? Sine you care so little about personal ttacks, go ahead dipshit.

        Again, while you’re evidently not site-banned yet, this DM isn’t exactly civil or respectful either. I don’t think you were banned for the comments, but for that DM, but wtf do I know.
        Honestly, not sure which outcome you were hoping for with that one…

        the abuse I keep enduring […]

        If people abuse you here, do report it. It has different community mods/admins as its caretakers. People in the 20-ish comments here have been respectful and even helpful so far.

        […] that has followed me back to this thread

        The discussion from the previous thread… which wasn’t fun for you, followed you in this thread, which you’ve made to discuss said previous thread.
        My confusion… can only be expressed by John Travolta looking around for Barbra Streisand’s lawyer.

        The initial thread is a bit… whatever.
        You were somewhat sour on an otherwise (subjectively) wholesome thing, whatever.
        You had an unpopular opinion, I think you failed to read the room? Whatever.
        When I have an unpopular opinion, I take the loss and move on.

        Instead, a tumblr meme has somehow escalated into this shitting-beans level drama.

        Instead of just taking the downvotes, this became an argument.
        Instead of moving on, this got mods involved?
        You mention you didn’t care about the ban, but here we are, now with exponentially more people piling in with whatever take they might have, which you’re still not having fun discussing.
        And now admins are involved somehow, because you didn’t like a poem and insist on dying on that hill.

        I say this to you and to everyone who read this far, sincerely, as a fellow human being: our mental health is worth more than whatever social media beanshit.
        Forget about this for a second. Go do something fun.
        Or don’t, maybe escalate this further somehow.

        • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
          29·
          3 months ago

          I wasn’t gonna bother but it’s bothering me that you got a few things wrong while basing your arguments on those and are being overly prescriptive.

          Seeing as you’re evidently not banned
          recipients can’t delete DMs, ever, only senders

          I don’t know where you got these ideas but I invite you to take a look at the modlog first. There’s my ban and all my comments deleted, so we can stop pretending that I did something that I did not. You’re the third/fourth person in this thread accusing me of random things.

          I don’t think you were banned for the comments, but for that DM

          I was gonna be banned regardless and they were extremely clear about that. So instead of quoting my DM, why didn’t you also quote the mod’s. I feel like that one was just as if not more incriminating. Did they delete it? Because that was a reply to something I received that I can’t find in my inbox anymore.

          But I want to know why all my comments were deleted and not the other people harassing me. Check the mod logs.

          If people abuse you here, do report it.

          Why, so they can do whatever besides enforcing the rules? Do you think this event leaves me with any trust in this system to rely on it again? Have you put yourself in my shoes?

          When I have an unpopular opinion, I take the loss and move on.

          Good for you, but I don’t have to. I’m fine with explaining why I think the things I do and take many Ls in the process. I’m just weird out that you are focusing on downvotes when I have not even mentioned them. But I am complaining about the disrespect, the rude comments, and the accusations that you’ve largely ignored. You don’t even mention them.

          Instead, a tumblr meme has somehow escalated into this shitting-beans level drama.

          Yeah, because the people in that thread jumped over to this thread. How is that on me, honestly? The topic of this thread is divorced from the comments. The only drama here is from the instigators. I invite you to read the entire thread if you haven’t.

          Like, I don’t even know why you’re focusing on the thread itself if you think it’s “beanshit”. I’m on board with that. The topic here is the misconduct of the mod that you and everyone else have largely ignored as well.

          Instead of moving on, this got mods involved?

          Yes, because of the outright insults and people getting nasty on that other thread. Again, how is their behavior on me when they come out of the blue swinging because they disagree? I’m not responsible for their comments, especially when I was nothing but civil and sincere. How come I don’t get credit for that?

          You mention you didn’t care about the ban, but here we are

          I can not care about the ban and at the same time care about misconduct. Those two ideas are mutually exclusive. I don’t know why you’re conflating them to drive some point.

          you’re still not having fun discussing

          Again, I don’t know where you got that. I’m a fairly argumentative person by nature, as you can see. I’m having a blast.

          Forget about this for a second. Go do something fun.

          Again, I don’t know where you got that. I just got back from a board game night with friends. There were 12 of us in a tiny apartment. You don’t need to paint me in a certain light and on top of that be this dismissive.

          All this said, “as a fellow human being” the very least you can do for another human being is to stop assuming things about them and focus on the things that matter. You can give me the benefit of the doubt and look at the sources like the modlog. That is, if you really mean what you say.

          • [email protected]A
            111·
            3 months ago

            I don’t know where you got these ideas but I invite you to take a look at the modlog first.

            Im talking about site-bans, not community bans.
            DMs don’t happen in a community, so a community ban wouldn’t prevent them. Garbage DMs usually mean site bans.
            You’re evidently not banned from SJW yet because you can still write here.
            You’re evidently not banned from .world yet because you can still login.

            So instead of quoting my DM, why didn’t you also quote the mod’s.

            I quoted it elsewhere and it’s honestly nothing special, to which you replied with insults to the mod.

            https://sh.itjust.works/u/Apytele | https://lemmy.world/u/Lemminary | 2024-09-09 02:51:08.887679+00 | the argument is pretty nonsensical on both ends and if you drag me into the middle of it I’m banning you both.

            https://lemmy.world/u/Lemminary | https://sh.itjust.works/u/Apytele | 2024-09-09 04:06:22.219219+00 | Who cares about the fucking argument? Sine you care so little about personal ttacks, go ahead dipshit.

            https://sh.itjust.works/u/Apytele | https://lemmy.world/u/Lemminary | 2024-09-09 06:47:03.103689+00 | …actually I seem to have identified the actual problem.

            community banned

            Not sure what personal attacks because the only comment you reported is this one:

            Right, so you’ve got all this experience and knowledge and all you want to do is complain that people get it wrong, you don’t want to do anything to change that by say educating someone who’s engaging in good faith. Consider my mistake noted, I’m no longer interested in anything you have to say about anything. You’re not old, you’re horrifically rude and unnecessarily aggressive. Good day.

            It’s a pretty tame thread all things considered. You wanna discuss this with them, they don’t, take the hint.

            want to know why all my comments were deleted

            They were all deleted at once when the mod banned you, there’s a checkbox to remove all your stuff along with the ban. You know, the mod you had just called a dipshit when they DMd you about your report.
            Like, I don’t know what the fuck you’re expecting when interacting with people.

            a fairly argumentative person by nature, as you can see. I’m having a blast.

            Yes, we’ve noticed. Doesn’t mean other people have to want to interact with you.
            Am I to conclude that relentlessly arguing about inane things is your jam then? (Trick question)

            You keep mentioning people attacking you over there and I didn’t see it. The comments were all tame and your only report is frivolous at best.
            You keep mentioning personal attacks in this here thread, most people have been helpful and the one comment mentioning ban evasion was removed a while ago.
            Your comments weren’t the problem.
            Other people’s comments weren’t the problem.
            Your behavior since is what I’m worried about.
            You’ve somehow escalated a minor disagreement into a potential site ban.

            Some people liked it, you don’t. It’s fine.
            Move on.
            Someone disagreed with you. It’s fine.
            Move on.
            You reported a mostly benign comment and the mod basically told you they weren’t getting involved in your daycare courtyard stuff.
            Move on.
            You then called them a dipshit and got banned from a their community. (Surprised Pikachu)
            Move on.
            It even expires in a month!
            Move on.
            You made this post complaining about mod abuse when you had just called them a dipshit.
            Move. The. Fuck. On.
            […] several steps with opportunities to Move on […]
            You’re still not getting the hint that people don’t wanna be involved in your petty stuff.

            At every point in time you’ve had an easy exit, which is to just move the fuck on, but you’ve insisted on dying on the tiniest hill I’ve ever seen.

            I’ll be explicitly clear.
            This last bit isn’t me having an argument with you.
            This isn’t a discussion, but a warning.
            It’s me telling you that this whole thing is a non-issue and if you don’t move on, then don’t come crying when your account is inevitably nuked.

            Move. The. Fuck. On.

            • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
              18·
              3 months ago

              It’s a pretty tame thread all things considered. You wanna discuss this with them, they don’t, take the hint.

              They edited the comment, that’s not what it said originally, which is the only reason I reported and they added the stuff about not wanting to interact later to avoid a penalty. I would never report the latter. And why would someone who doesn’t want to interact keep being nasty until they realize they had nothing? All they had to say was berate me on what I think and not respecting MY wishes to not elaborate further, which is only two messages above that one. I was very clear on how fed up I was. Why is that not respected if I’m expected to respect someone else? Instaed they berated me further. But please, tell me where I was “horrifically rude and unnecessarily aggressive” when that person had been doing it to me first and out of nowhere. Nobody has bothered besides one person. You don’t look at that, you got your blinders on for when I had enough with the mod straight-up ignoring my request. Do you think that’s fair to me? Would YOU want to be treated that way by a mod? Not a trick question.

              Yes, we’ve noticed.

              Thank you for noticing! I wish you’d notice the way people have been treating me in that other thread and in this one. It’s pretty obvious that the only thing you care about is piling on even more. Go ahead, do it to your heart’s content as you do. You talk so much about human beings but I don’t see you empathizing. I also wish you’d notice that the reason for the ban had nothing to do with my participation but only my reaction at them being a twat without even bothering with it. If that had happened to you I bet you would also have been upset at being treated like dirt by mods on top of having to endure the pissy replies out of the blue. Notice that instead.

              You keep mentioning people attacking you over there and I didn’t see it.

              Yeah, figured you’d turn a blind eye to that too. Just selectively finding reasons to blame it all on me, barely glancing elsewhere. Like I said, you have yet to put yourself in my shoes and I know you won’t.

              Move. The. Fuck. On.

              I. Will. Not. And. I. Don’t. Have. To. You move the fuck on because all you got is being nasty too. Set the example of when someone replies and you’re told to bottle up after everything that happened.

              Just so we’re clear: I don’t wish to interact further. Respect that. Bottle it up, kid.

              • [email protected]A
                101·
                3 months ago

                They edited the comment, that’s not what it said originally

                FYI, reports include the original comment text as it was when reported, which is what I’ve quoted.

                Just so we’re clear: I don’t wish to interact further. Respect that.

                Great, goodbye.

      • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
        121·
        3 months ago

        Following someone from a comment to DM to try and argue with them, especially after your comments were deleted, is absolutely abuse.

        What did you tell me to do when I was not even talking to you? Oh yeah, “back off, and take several seats”.

        I mean. I have gained some pounds the past couple of years, but I still only take up one seat thank you very much.

        • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
          111·
          3 months ago

          Abuse is not when you reply with a much-deserve rebuttal, but making the person you replied to look bad by abusing the fact that they can’t reply is abuse.

          I was not even talking to you?

          Lmao I guess the screenshots were a figment of our collective imagination.

          Oh no, a newfound victim of fat phobia! 😂 See, this is the shit you do.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
      410·
      3 months ago

      Good question! If an admin would be so kind as to restore my comments, you’d see that I’m merely sharing my opinion and people didn’t like what I said or how I said it. There’s nothing more to it but people are trying. It’s not the first time groupthink has nuked a comment on a thread despite what is being said. I got up to 10+ upvotes of people agreeing with me but you don’t see that.

      Here’s an excellent comment that illustrates the two disproportionate camps that formed down in the thread who were downvoting eachother:
      https://sh.itjust.works/comment/13787207 It’s linking to this image mocking people with more strict scientific views who didn’t give into the allegory:
      https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half-caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2019-11/scientsimidol.jpg

      But anyway, I’m only clarifying this for people who would come away thinking I was breaking the rules when I was politely defending my stance. And even then I was insulted.

      The main point here is not the thread but the way this mod behaved when called to do their one job.

        • all-knight-party@fedia.io
          111·
          3 months ago

          As self-appointed arbiter of the truth, I don’t think OP was trolling. I think OP responded negatively to a wholesome post, and even though their position is justified, that’s going to receive a backlash of some size.

          At that point the fatal mistake was trying to respond to the backlash, because the people responding to OP were definitely being condescending internet arguers, so…

          In the end, partial responsibility to OP for being negative on a wholesome post, regardless of justification, then partial responsibility to the repliers for being tactless about it, then after that it becomes everyone’s fault as they roll around in the mud together.

          • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
            211·
            3 months ago

            In my defense, I wasn’t trying to be negative and I didn’t think I was being at the time. But thank you for trying to keep it impartial.

            • all-knight-party@fedia.io
              4·
              3 months ago

              I can understand that. Just as well, I don’t believe you deserved to be banned, strictly for that exchange of comments. You guys weren’t being nice to each other, for certain, but in the realm of people being mean to each other on the internet that was about a 3 or 4 out of a possible 10 in intensity.

              In the future just ask yourself if something you posted could make someone else upset, particularly someone invested or related to something you’re talking about negatively or are dismissing. I think it should be okay to express that, but understand that it may hurt some feelings, and people may become upset with you. Don’t give it back to them and sink to that level.

              • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
                110·
                3 months ago

                3 or 4 out of a possible 10 in intensity

                Which is weird because the person I reported was at about a 7 and I’m the one who got clapped. They even edited their comment after to tone it down but I got the full brunt of of it without consequences.

                ask yourself if something you posted could make someone else upset

                I always do. But in this particular thread, I think the main culprit was a clash of spiritual/fundamental views of the world that seemed to ruffle feathers since I got a fair share of feisty replies right from the start that weren’t necessarily responding to my tone until much later. My demeanor alone doesn’t explain why I was suddenly the Big Bad Wolf in the thread. It’s not the first time I get clowned on for expressing a different pov, but that’s fine.

        • themachine@lemmy.world
          113·
          3 months ago

          Well that certainly removes any uncertainty from this “debate”. OP was rude and peoe didnt takd mind to his rudeness.

          • BlemboTheThird@lemmy.ca
            22·
            3 months ago

            Not liking something and expressing it isn’t the same as being rude. It can be done rudely, but this is about as benign as disagreement on taste gets. Can’t imagine how a mod could self justify a ban over this.

            • [email protected]A
              14·
              3 months ago

              There’s a bit more to this.

              OP reported this comment:

              Right, so you’ve got all this experience and knowledge and all you want to do is complain that people get it wrong, you don’t want to do anything to change that by say educating someone who’s engaging in good faith. Consider my mistake noted, I’m no longer interested in anything you have to say about anything. You’re not old, you’re horrifically rude and unnecessarily aggressive. Good day.

              Reason: Wtf is this rude shit

              To which the community mod replied in a DM to OP that they should both cut it out:

              the argument is pretty nonsensical on both ends and if you drag me into the middle of it I’m banning you both.

              To which OP replied:

              Who cares about the fucking argument? Sine you care so little about personal ttacks, go ahead dipshit.

              … OP gets banned, posts this thread, etc.

          • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
            211·
            3 months ago

            How was I rude? lol Quote me on it, give me tangible examples.

            And please explain how that justifies people straight-up insulting me.

        • [email protected]A
          4·
          3 months ago

          Hey Blaze, you’re not breaking any rules and I wanted to thank you for taking the time and trying to be helpful, here and elsewhere.
          Cheers.

        • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
          211·
          3 months ago

          This is excellent, thank you! And please, judge away, particularly the nasty replies that I got.

      • Thetimefarm@lemm.ee
        7·
        3 months ago

        It should still show up in your comment history right? Why did they say you were being horrifically rude?

        • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
          44·
          3 months ago

          It doesn’t if it’s mod-removed. They used to say “removed by mod” and now don’t even appear in my comments history.

          But please point out where I was horrifically rude: https://fedia.io/m/[email protected]/t/1172754/atoms-don-t-touch/comment/7192350#entry-comment-7192350

  • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
    113·
    3 months ago

    How about users that harass other people through DMs because your comments were deleted?

    You should be sitewide banned in my opinion.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
      39·
      3 months ago

      Can you please share the comment here for all of us to see? Because you’re actively manipulating public perception now that I can’t comment on the thread. Going so far as to edit your comments to make me look bad and now coming to this thread to keep up the harassment. If you didn’t like what I said, you could’ve downvoted and moved on and instead you decided to dog-pile and berate.

      • merde alors
        131·
        3 months ago

        yes, online, on these internets, defending yourself is a waste of your time and energy.

        Let’s say that they were rude. Wouldn’t it be a better solution to block them and go do something else, instead of spending all this time on these 2 threads and pMessages and screenshots

        What were you defending yourself from? A disagreement on a lemmy thread 🙄 on a relatively inconsequential subject 🤦

        Daily life is abrasive enough; if lemmy became another source of stress for you, just cut it off.

        • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
          19·
          3 months ago

          Defending my ideas is something I enjoy doing and it’s a way I like to spend some of my downtime and I’m not alone in this. And I like to do this respectfully. If you think it’s a waste of time, that’s fine, but I don’t need to hear about it.

          But I want to know why you choose to scold me as if I’m doing something wrong for participating in a forum like it’s meant to instead of the people being disrespectful and breaking the rules who are also here in this thread.

  • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
    41·
    3 months ago

    I will say that I don’t think your comments in that thread were ban worthy. The DM shit, yes. But not the thread. They should have just removed all of the comments and let it be.

    That’s my last thought on the whole thing.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
      28·
      3 months ago

      I don’t think you should be one pitching in your opinions, given what you’ve done. The “DM shit” was no different than a regular comment that you’re now trying to blow out of proportion.

  • zante@lemmy.wtfEnglish
    1212·
    3 months ago

    Welcome to Lemmy - the place for mods who couldn’t get the sub they wanted on Reddit.

    • Blaze (he/him)@feddit.orgEnglish
      211·
      3 months ago

      Also the place where some users got genuinely banned from Reddit.

      At least here modlogs are public

    • Lemminary@lemmy.worldOP
      212·
      3 months ago

      For real. The thing is that I don’t mind them being selective about content, but not responding to sitewide rules is a major offense.