• solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    3 days ago

    i thought about having kids, but decided i’m too busy doing whatever i feel like with all my spare time and money

    • GoodEye8@lemm.ee
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      2 days ago

      Kids are absolutely post main story content. You better have your life in order and your aspirations met because you’re about to do some serious compromising when you throw a kid in the mix. I think one of the best decisions of my life was to fulfill my needs before having children.

        • GoodEye8@lemm.ee
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          2 days ago

          I don’t know about your situation but it is okay to not have any aspirations. I had one aspiration which is kind of a cop out because everyone wants that. I wanted to be happy with my life. I figured if I was happy I’d figure out what I really wanted to do. Once I figured out how to be happy nothing changed, I didn’t get some magical desire to do more or be more. I was happy and I was happy being happy.

          Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. If you have aspirations you’ll probably feel them, and if you dont feel them then maybe you don’t have them. There’s no set way to go through life, some people have aspirations and some don’t. The only good life advice I can give is that best way to go through life is doing whatever makes you happy. It’s your life, don’t live it for what society expects you to live for, don’t live it for what your parentst want you to live for, live for yourself.

          • Dave@lemmy.nz
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            2 days ago

            Hey cheers for the heartfelt message. I’m cruising through life just fine. I’ve done plenty in my time, and I don’t think I’ve done much out of societal expectations. I’ve never had any big life goals or even small bucket list items, but it works for me.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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        3 days ago

        I don’t really think it is. I have a kid, but we felt that way for much of our 20s and into our early 30s.

        People shouldn’t have a child until/unless they really want a one. If you never want a child, you should never have one. One of many reasons abortion should always be legal.

        Children should never be abused or neglected.

        • MrVilliam@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Sharply agreed. My wife and I both work a lot and don’t have kids or even any pets (yet) and it’s insane to think that there was a time just a short while ago that one person with a high school diploma could work 40 hour weeks and it would cover a mortgage, two cars, multiple kids, and still have money for savings and modest vacations. DINK couples in their 30s like us are finally catching up to the average 20 somethings with a few kids of 40 years ago.

          Shit has changed. And as a result, I think that pro-choice should mean much more than just access to contraception and abortion. Pro-choice should mean that it’s possible to choose to have children too, as in childcare and diapers and everything shouldn’t be so prohibitively expensive that only the top 10% earners should have the flexibility for a pregnancy to be a blessing and not a life-shattering burden. If conservatives want babies to be born, they’re going about it all wrong.

          • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            Aye childcare is fucked. My spouse had to quit working full-time temporarily because childcare was more than what she pulled in a week. Was actually a savings to just not have one of us work until they were a little older and the cost finally dropped enough.

            Not that one of us was enough to pay the bills, we just had to get really creative with alternative income sources that didn’t require a full-time commitment.

            I love my kids, I hate America as it is today. I knew sort of the financial impact I was getting into having kids, but no one should have that just thrust on them because politicians systemically are removing all the alternatives.

        • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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          2 days ago

          abortion should always be legal.

          not just legal, but free. for anyone who wants one, no questions asked

    • MrLLM@ani.social
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      2 days ago

      all my spare time and money

      Do you guys have spare time and money :( ?