What’s wrong with wanting to feel like a man? There’s nothing inherently negative about that. I like providing for my wife and I want nothing in return. I like doing typical man stuff with my friends. Why does that make you feel like I’m trying to be superior to anyone? I am comfortable in my masculinity and so should anyone who wants to be, stop treating that as toxic.
edit: Express your opinion by downvoting me if you must, but do me the courtesy of answering the question.
I feel for this post because I’ve been told by bosses that men aren’t used to people like me. They’d get used to it if women weren’t told to dumb themselves down for the poor boys raised on some fabricated ideal of manliness. I don’t like to think of traits or talents being gendered because it’s exclusionary.
When I go in to buy computer parts I still get asked if I’m sure that’s what my boyfriend wants? I never mention a boyfriend, they just assume. I don’t ask for help in hardware stores because nine times out of ten it’s gonna start a whole argument with someone who thinks they know my project better than I do.
I see the same thing happening to guys, saw a dude at a yarn shop get asked if he was gettin supplies for his wife. That sucks, right? It sucks to feel less like who you are because of what you like. That shit keeps up the gender divide because not everyone has the energy to risk feeling a little worse to do the things they enjoy.
So yeah, I’ll never describe an activity as typically male or female.
As it turns out, the things that make a good man are the same things that make a good person.
I love cooking and baking. Whenever there’s a family get together I try to make something whether it’s a full dish or some sweet bread for desert.
None of the other guys have ever complimented me on any if it, they all compliment my wife on ‘her’ delicious food. She corrects them and they say nothing, it turns into a weird situation for some reason and it seems like they’re embarrassed to admit they like something made by a man? It’s weird
The toxic masculinity on my wife’s side is absolutely crazy and really sad.
That sucks. Hard to be yourself around people when navigating their fragile beliefs is like playing epistemological fiddlesticks. Weird when most executive chefs are male.
I donno the answer. Make 'em some pink sparkle shortbread infused with whiskey and bacon and watch their minds implode.
I won’t bore you with repetition so I’ll just link.
I think we mostly agree, doing the stuff you want to do in life should not be stifled by your gender. But in the OP and in this thread I get the feeling that “a man likes to feel like a man” automatically carries with it the implication that others should accommodate (by for example dumbing themselves down in order not to damage fragile masculinity as you said). I don’t see that implication at all. Is there some cultural context I’m missing here? Is this something you would say in a context where fragile masculinity is in danger of being harmed?
The last question is a leading one and poorly framed, so I won’t answer it. This is a thread about two comments on a discussion, we don’t know the context of what came before or any relationship these two people had.
But yeah, in my circles of women who are just fucking tired, we’ve all been told we gotta let men be men, and that’s somehow our responsibility. So that’s the context, we hear that phrase in a different tone than men do.
No it doesn’t. It shows a woman imagining things that weren’t said, which is then responded to with an anecdote.
edit: Yeah I guess I’m wrong here. The second post does talk about that. Still, I don’t think ‘A man likes to feel like a man’ implies anyone needs to do anything to accommodate.
how is that implied by ‘a man likes to feel like a man’?
What’s the context that you’re imagining this topic coming up? Because from my perspective, as a man, if someone said this to me about someone else I’d assume that I’m being asked to come up with some made up work, so that some junior guy on my team, or some dude in my social group who is feeling down, can feel more useful.
Which I might or might not accommodate, but it’s kinda patronizing and would effectively have the opposite effect in building up my respect for that man.
I’m not imagining any context, I am taking the statement at face value. I am a man, and I like to behave in a way that makes me feel like it. Like mentioned elsewhere in this thread, that means feeling useful, it means being relied upon by others, it means honouring the responsibilities I have towards others.
What’s wrong with wanting to feel like a man? There’s nothing inherently negative about that. I like providing for my wife and I want nothing in return. I like doing typical man stuff with my friends. Why does that make you feel like I’m trying to be superior to anyone? I am comfortable in my masculinity and so should anyone who wants to be, stop treating that as toxic.
edit: Express your opinion by downvoting me if you must, but do me the courtesy of answering the question.
Nothing’s wrong with feeling like a man.
I feel for this post because I’ve been told by bosses that men aren’t used to people like me. They’d get used to it if women weren’t told to dumb themselves down for the poor boys raised on some fabricated ideal of manliness. I don’t like to think of traits or talents being gendered because it’s exclusionary.
When I go in to buy computer parts I still get asked if I’m sure that’s what my boyfriend wants? I never mention a boyfriend, they just assume. I don’t ask for help in hardware stores because nine times out of ten it’s gonna start a whole argument with someone who thinks they know my project better than I do.
I see the same thing happening to guys, saw a dude at a yarn shop get asked if he was gettin supplies for his wife. That sucks, right? It sucks to feel less like who you are because of what you like. That shit keeps up the gender divide because not everyone has the energy to risk feeling a little worse to do the things they enjoy.
So yeah, I’ll never describe an activity as typically male or female.
As it turns out, the things that make a good man are the same things that make a good person.
I love cooking and baking. Whenever there’s a family get together I try to make something whether it’s a full dish or some sweet bread for desert.
None of the other guys have ever complimented me on any if it, they all compliment my wife on ‘her’ delicious food. She corrects them and they say nothing, it turns into a weird situation for some reason and it seems like they’re embarrassed to admit they like something made by a man? It’s weird
The toxic masculinity on my wife’s side is absolutely crazy and really sad.
That sucks. Hard to be yourself around people when navigating their fragile beliefs is like playing epistemological fiddlesticks. Weird when most executive chefs are male.
I donno the answer. Make 'em some pink sparkle shortbread infused with whiskey and bacon and watch their minds implode.
I won’t bore you with repetition so I’ll just link.
I think we mostly agree, doing the stuff you want to do in life should not be stifled by your gender. But in the OP and in this thread I get the feeling that “a man likes to feel like a man” automatically carries with it the implication that others should accommodate (by for example dumbing themselves down in order not to damage fragile masculinity as you said). I don’t see that implication at all. Is there some cultural context I’m missing here? Is this something you would say in a context where fragile masculinity is in danger of being harmed?
The last question is a leading one and poorly framed, so I won’t answer it. This is a thread about two comments on a discussion, we don’t know the context of what came before or any relationship these two people had.
But yeah, in my circles of women who are just fucking tired, we’ve all been told we gotta let men be men, and that’s somehow our responsibility. So that’s the context, we hear that phrase in a different tone than men do.
You doing things for you is fine.
It’s when other people need to change their behaviors that it becomes a problem.
Sure I agree with that, but how is that implied by ‘a man likes to feel like a man’?
The post shows a woman talking about how she was told her strong personality could make men insecure.
No it doesn’t. It shows a woman imagining things that weren’t said, which is then responded to with an anecdote.
edit: Yeah I guess I’m wrong here. The second post does talk about that. Still, I don’t think ‘A man likes to feel like a man’ implies anyone needs to do anything to accommodate.
Literally couldn’t read two posts
What’s the context that you’re imagining this topic coming up? Because from my perspective, as a man, if someone said this to me about someone else I’d assume that I’m being asked to come up with some made up work, so that some junior guy on my team, or some dude in my social group who is feeling down, can feel more useful.
Which I might or might not accommodate, but it’s kinda patronizing and would effectively have the opposite effect in building up my respect for that man.
I’m not imagining any context, I am taking the statement at face value. I am a man, and I like to behave in a way that makes me feel like it. Like mentioned elsewhere in this thread, that means feeling useful, it means being relied upon by others, it means honouring the responsibilities I have towards others.
Hit dog helps.
Shhh
Man bad
Op hates men I guess. That’s my take away.