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RmDebArc_5 to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 5 months ago

Texas Bans Sale Of Luggage To Pregnant Women

theonion.com

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  • theonion
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Texas Bans Sale Of Luggage To Pregnant Women

theonion.com

RmDebArc_5 to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 5 months ago
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23
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  • theonion
AUSTIN, TX—In a sweeping prohibition with immediate implications for the Lone Star State’s potential mothers-to-be, Texas banned the sale of luggage to pregnant women Monday. “With this law, we ensure that no gestating woman living in our great state can pack her belongings and escape our will,” Gov. Greg Abbott said upon signing the bill, explaining […]
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  • CompostMaterial@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    OK, that one got me. Texas is just such a shit state that I didn’t even question the headline. It wasn’t until I clicked so see what dumbass excuse they used that I realized it was The Onion. 🤣

    • state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de
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      5 months ago

      Yeah. We’re really at a point where I think it’s real until I check the source.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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        5 months ago

        Same, ate the onion on this one, had to check.

  • lettruthout@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    “Should an expectant woman be found in possession of luggage of any kind—even a small handbag or clutch, which we all know can be used to smuggle mifepristone—she will be subject to the full force of the Texas healthcare system.

    • Victor@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Holy crap that’s savage

  • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 months ago

    Dear god the Onion is scary.

    • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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      5 months ago

      It’s the fact that this is completely plausible that’s scary.

      • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 months ago

        I mean this is effectively what has been proposed by members of the republican party.

  • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I hear that women in Texas have to get their husbands permission to buy coat hangers.

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      They just have to ask them to punch them in the stomach and kick them down the stairs. Way easier.

      • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        Don’t you just get that with all small town Texan men?

        They just have to hold off the gut punches for 9 months when they know they are getting a son.

  • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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    5 months ago

    Well shit, the way things are going, I got that onion halfway to my mouth before realizing what it was…

    • dmention7@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Same here. It wasn’t until I went to click in to try and figure out whether it was a clickbait title, or just Texas being Texas, that I noticed.

  • RagnarokOnline@programming.dev
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    5 months ago

    Damn, I ate this until I saw the community name. This world is wack

  • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 months ago

    The best Onion headlines are the ones I see and slowly inhale instead of laughing.

    Maybe “most accurate” is more apropros than “best.”

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I was wait, what? before I saw the source. But I would not put it past the GOP to actually do this.

    Or they just enforce ankle monitors for all known pregnant women.

  • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    gestating woman

    “How goes the gestation, woman?”

    • themoonisacheese
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      5 months ago

      Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffemale

    • ramble81@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Get in the gestation wagon, we’re going cruising.

  • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    From Texas. I very nearly ate the onion

  • Gladaed@feddit.org
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    5 months ago

    Probably actually already the case as it enables them to leave the state to get an abortion. (Afaik facilitating an abortion too is illegal)

    • Infynis@midwest.social
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      5 months ago

      Don’t worry, I’m sure the Republicans will step in to make sure that only people, not corporations, can be punished under that law

  • m3t00🌎@midwest.social
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    5 months ago

    they are leaving anyway. got legal weed in Illinois. js

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