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ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 5 months ago

Ron DeSantis Signs Bill to Remove the Word “Gay” From All Christmas Songs

thehardtimes.net

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Ron DeSantis Signs Bill to Remove the Word “Gay” From All Christmas Songs

thehardtimes.net

ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 5 months ago
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Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a new bill that bans the word “gay” from being used in any Christmas songs past or present, sources confirmed.
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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Ate the onion.

    • somtwo@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      It’s not fair, it sounds so plausible!

    • kittehx@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      Fuck, yeah it got me too

      (in fairness i’m tipsy rn)

      • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        I think this site also had a really funny article about an alpha male that touched a tampon and ended up in an ER.

        • ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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          5 months ago

          Alpha Male in Critical Condition After Accidentally Touching Unopened Box of Tampons

        • kittehx@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 months ago

          damn, good thing I’m a woman. sending my condolences to the victim and his family

          • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            Bro had UHC too

      • goferking (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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        5 months ago

        100% something they’d do, which makes it even easier to swallow the onion

    • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Yeah, it is fucking sad to say that I had to double check and make sure this wasn’t a not-the-onion story.

    • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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      Honest question. At what point do people proclaim this? Did you read the article or did you internally respond before checking the source?

      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        No. You read the headline, and react. Just the same as any other article. Then you see the community posted, laugh, and reply “ate the onion”.

        See in the 90s, the whole point of the onion (the actual original paper distributed onion newsletter) was to grab peoples attention and fool them into thinking it’s a real headline.

        Thats what happened here. I believed it was a legit headline. Thus, I ate the onion.

    • Ben Hur Horse Race@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      also fuckin at it (not completely sober)

    • casmael@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Would sir like fries with that 🍟

  • Lovable Sidekick@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    People who thought this was real - don’t feel bad, it’s a reference to Florida’s REAL “Don’t Say Gay” law, enacted in 2023, that bans the word from public schools.

    • TriflingToad
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      5 months ago

      yeah… we’re cooked.
      signed, a trans Floridian in highschool

    • brlemworld@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      It’s not as common now but I’ve met somebody who’s first name is Gay.

      Who’s that guy over there? Well that’s Homosexual Smith; the heterosexual.

      • Birch
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        5 months ago

        “The plane that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima was the Enola Homosexual”

      • pyre@lemmy.world
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        deleted by creator

      • Lovable Sidekick@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        I knew a woman whose first name was Gay but she always went by her middle name.

        Actually Homosexual Smith sounds like a famous frontiersman or maybe an Old West preacher.

  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Oof, they got me on that one.

  • just_another_person@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Thought it was real. Can’t blame me though.

    • ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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      5 months ago

      Yeah, it’s sadly believable. Ron is that much of a culture war stoking prick.

  • PhAzE@lemmy.ca
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    5 months ago

    The Flinstones theme safe?

    • ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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      5 months ago

      Absolutely NOT. Fred Flintstone drove a zero-emissions vehicle, which is yabba-dabba-WOKE!

      • stephen01king@lemmy.zip
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        5 months ago

        Technically, the power source for his vehicle does have an exhaust port that occasionally puts out methane gas.

      • XeroxCool@lemmy.world
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        Alternative fuel vehicle, barefoot, and earthen home? Woke af

    • BassTurd@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      That was addressed at the end of the article.

      At press time, Governor DeSantis banned reruns of “The Flintstones” after learning the family was having a “gay old time” in every episode.

  • Radioactive Butthole@reddthat.com
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    5 months ago

    This onion tastes particularly oniony.

    • BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I had a nice bite myself.

    • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Doh! I got caught out again.

  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    Oh, wait, that’s The Onion.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      the hard times, but yeah, I almost bought it too.

  • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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    Lol I didn’t notice this was the Onion at first and genuinely thought this was real.

    • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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      5 months ago

      Yep. I bit it hard. Honestly, I’m mote surprised it isn’t real at this point. It’s totally something he’d do.

  • Squorlple@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Gay People Respond by Signing Bill to Remove Ron DeSantis

  • Zier@fedia.io
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    5 months ago

    He signed the bill because every time he hears the word ‘gay’, he thinks about shoving some D in his mouth. nom nom nom slurp slurp

  • Xerxos@lemmy.ml
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    Yes, they should replace them with the word ‘homosexual’ to be more modern 😉

  • Fritzer@feddit.org
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    Ok, I didn’t read the Community title and thought it was real. Because I trust him to do something like this. Or at least try it.

  • anonimowy@lemmy.world
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    Why are you giving him ideas?

  • MaxTheMummer@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    “Don we now, our happy apparial!”

    • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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      Bro it was right there.

      “Don we now, our hay apparel!”

    • brlemworld@lemmy.world
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      “Dom me now, on a homosexual barrel!”

  • JokeDeity@lemm.eeBanned
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    Conservatives, you have fucked up, because I didn’t even get surprised by this, it really just seemed like something you guys would do these days.

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