We are our worst enemies
🌏🧑🏻🚀🔫🧑🏻🚀 always have been
I agreed to one a couple days back.
Plans fell through.
Sometimes you get lucky.
I want to meet the woman inside the control panel of the brain of grey shirt girl. I don’t want to meet the grey shirt girl. I want to meet the girl inside the brain control room.
I see on dating apps these women that are like “I like to go traveling! I like to go white water rafting. I like to go camping!”
You know what’s waaaaaay hotter?
“I want to do absolutely nothing. Just stay on the couch, we’ll say we’re going to watch a movie, but really we’ll just stare at an endless list of netflix movies. Never picking one, and just goofing off on the couch for hours. And the only thing that’s important enough to leave the couch for are bathroom breaks, and answering the door when the local nonźchain pizzeria delivers. Beyond that? This couch is now home for the night. No bullshit clubs where you can’t hear each other anyways. Where the vibrations of the music rattles your bones. Just a couch, a locally sourced pizza, and you”
If I saw a tinder listing like THAT??? HARD LIKE! SUPER LIKE! Whatever the fuck it’s called.
What’s wrong with hiking?
What’s wrong with hiking for 12 miles?
What’s wrong with hiking for 12 miles at 5 A.M.?
What’s wrong with hiking for 12 miles at 5 A.M., with a chick this attractive‽
I love hiking but if a woman is gonna make me get up to start the hike at 5am then we’re never gonna work out no matter how cute she is
confused. Is this a lesbo hikes? Is hiking code for find some bushes to fool around in, because that would make hiking more appealing.
Cute 5am girls hmu, that’s when I wake up for work anyways so its hard not to on my days off.
Hmu also. That’s when i get off work. Lol
That’s fine, I’ll take one for the team and go with her.
Nature has existed for quite a while. That hike can start at 7am. Or even 8. Or 9.
You want me up to hike at 5am? Let’s just camp in the woods.
Or like noon, maybe 3PM just to be safe.
February.
2027.
As a rule, I don’t go out just before I fall asleep unless I have actually important stuff to do (e.g. doctor’s appointments I’ve been waiting for for months).
