I am pretty against having a kid of my own for many reasons (scared of pregnancies, scared of babies, awful genepool, etc.) but I do like kids, and am not against adopting a kid. It’s just rare to see many parents with adopted kids, so I’m always curious about the process. I’m getting a tubal in a few months, so I guess I’m just asking all my questions early lol
We lived in west Africa for a while and my parents adopted my sister there. Her biological mother was very young and couldn’t really cope, and my sister was neglected and malnourished to the extent that the doctors were convinced she would live with mental deficiencies.
Well, she turned out just wonderful, very bright and cheeky. But I have to admit that my parents blew it pretty bad. My mother was very naive about the whole thing and my father didn’t consider it his problem.
Of course, it was quite obvious that she was different. Heck, she herself noticed it as soon as she could talk. But my parents didn’t want to have The Talk with her, especially considering her situation before. They were extremely hush hush about it. Almost as if they were embarrassed, but they were just emotionally incabable.
As a teen, things got real bad. She met friends that were very racist and not good for her, and she would run away from home. It took her a while to sort out her identity, and that was not a nice time.
She was able to find her mother and sisters, and they are still in contact. She’s happily married with three kids, and they’ve moved over close to the in-laws. So everything turned out good in the end, despite my parents horrible parenting.
Moral of the story? Where I live, they say, little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. So treat your kids with love and respect. Especially respect.
I’m sorry your parents did that to your sister but im happy shes living her best life now :) honesty is key with kids!!
I think this also shows that if you are going to adopt a child that is not of your race, you really need to do your due diligence to raise that child to understand what their means in terms of their place in society. Maybe even find someone of their race to help you with that.
No offense meant here because this is a general statement, but adopting a black kid and never explaining to them what to do if they’re pulled over by a cop (in the U.S. at least) seems negligent at best and abusive at worst because it could literally get them killed.