It depends on the needs of the community. Some need a “curation” style, some need a “cultivation” style, and some need a laissez-faire style. I’ve been a moderator in all three kinds, and I moderated with a different ethos in each.

The community belongs to the members. Don’t ever lock a community or try to move it to another instance without consulting the community first.

We all left Reddit for a reason.

Positive contribution to a community is more important than following the rules strictly. If a thread technically is against the rules, but is relevant to the community and has positive interaction, it usually gets a pass from me.

Be fair and equitable. There are times when strictness benefits a community, and there are times where laissez fair, laid-back moderation benefits a community. But nothing hollows out a community like moderators being unreliable or unfair.

If you’ve got a “don’t be a dick” rule and someone is making a point you agree with but being a dick about it, you still have to step in. If you’re having a bad evening, don’t let yourself be extra hard on people because you’re angry or rushed. Etc.

Number one rule is don’t be a dick. If I notice tone is going more towards personal attacks or being mean rather than honest arguments that’s where my line is. If you can’t get your argument out without resulting to insulting someone then it wasn’t a very good argument.