Remind her the cost of raising a child.

Being entirely oblivious mostly. I make shonen anime protagonists and lesbian stereotypes look like love gurus by comparison. I am so dense my sexuality actually collapsed into a black hole and that’s why I’m asexual.

I missed my wife trying no less than 6 times in one day to get me to come to bed with her. A little while later I noticed her go to the bedroom and thought “Oh sweet, she hasn’t gone to sleep yet. Maybe I can get some snuggles.” I was then delivered an ultimatum. I either get fucking, or fucking get. I blue-screened so hard I apparently just closed the door and left. I don’t actually remember what happened in that moment. That’s how hard my brain broke.

Luckily when she eventually was done and came out to tell me it was safe she was laughing her ass off. Apparently my look of utter confusion and bewilderment was something to behold.

I do not, because I am 33, and she is not a hag but a young woman.

(I am in fact, not 33. Or perhaps I am, you will never know, Reader. That’s my secret to know, and yours not to.)

Source: Kowloon Generic Romance?