I’ve been in this weird headspace lately where life is just… strange. On the surface, everything is fine. I go to work, eat relatively healthy, try to stay on top of errands, keep things running — the usual. But underneath it all, there’s this constant feeling of dull pressure, like I’m being stretched thin by things that don’t really matter. It’s like I’m always busy, but rarely present.
Every day feels packed, but nothing sticks. I go through the motions, check off tasks, scroll a bit, eat, sleep, repeat. I end the day drained, like I ran a marathon in my head — but can’t really remember anything meaningful that happened. It’s not burnout in the dramatic sense, just this low-grade hum of tiredness and disconnection that never really turns off.
Socially, things have gotten quieter too. I barely see my friends anymore. Most of them are still into drinking and going out — stuff that used to feel exciting but now just feels… loud and repetitive. There was no big falling out. Just different rhythms now. Slower ones. And sometimes I sit with that and wonder if it’s just part of growing up, or if something deeper got lost along the way.
And then my brain starts spinning, usually late at night, when everything’s quiet. I start thinking about the future — and it honestly kind of scares me. Not in a dramatic, apocalyptic way, but in that creeping “things-are-moving-too-fast” way. AI is suddenly everywhere. Wars are happening in the background of our everyday lives. Economies feel fragile. Everything seems more unstable than it used to be, like we’re just pretending things are normal while the ground shifts under us.
And weirdly, my mind keeps drifting back to 2006. I don’t even know why exactly — maybe because it felt slower. Simpler. The internet was just fun and weird, not all-consuming. There were fewer screens, fewer existential threats in the news feed. Boredom existed, but it didn’t feel dangerous — it felt open. It felt like space to breathe. Now everything feels compressed, even rest.
I don’t think I’m depressed. I’m not miserable. But I feel… detached. Like I’m watching my life from the outside, waiting for it to feel like mine again. There’s this quiet emptiness running underneath everything, like background static. Not loud enough to break me, just enough to make everything feel slightly out of tune.
Anyone else feel like this? Have you figured out how to shake it — or at least live with it in a way that makes sense?
Are you American? My theories on why I feel the exact same way are all based around the fact that our society leaves you constantly between a rock and a hard place and the fact that we’re living in a Nazi regime that’s been slowly festering for a while now. It’s been growing a bigger and bigger divide and making an entire chunk of my fellow citizens into constantly bitter, angry, and toxic people that spend all their time either falling down deep conspiracy theory holes that make no sense or trying to harass and offend as many people as they can.
Anyone else feel like life is stressful, boring, and kind of quietly empty — all at once?
This is just exactly how extreme stress tends to feel.
Basically you can’t unwind enough to relax and enjoy yourself, and so the times where you should be happy just feel empty.
You see a lot of stuff about WWII just talking about the boredom.
If the stress is work related, you’re experiencing burnout and it’s time to find a new job.
If it’s US related, you might want to look into emigrating. It’s not an option for everyone, but if you can get the fuck out, you should think about it.
Blame the dichotomy of fascism and nationalism overtaking the world and with that…a sense of hopelessness
I’m with you on that
Get some hobbies that involve leaving the house regularly and preferably other people. The more alone you are the more times per week you should try to book things, but start with one day a week. Lots of sports leagues start around now, it might be to late to join a team, but you could be a sub. Maybe you have a local shop that has a board game night, or there’s always Friday night magic. Find a local bar that does trivia and get some of your friends to make a team. See if there’s a local maker space you could join. There could be some running or biking groups. Another option is finding a church, it has a lot more baggage, but it can provide a strong social group. There’s lots of volunteer groups, probably at least one in your area that could be a good opportunity. Find somewhere to do a hobby you normally do at home, find a stitch and bitch or a book club.
It sounds like you have some level of depression. It may or may not require therapy or drugs. It could be too much social media. Either way real in person interaction is generally good for you, even introverts.
I don’t think I’m depressed. I’m not miserable. But I feel… detached. Like I’m watching my life from the outside, waiting for it to feel like mine again. There’s this quiet emptiness running underneath everything, like background static. Not loud enough to break me, just enough to make everything feel slightly out of tune.
I am sorry to say that this is exactly what depression feels like. It feels like nothing.
It isn’t a presence of misery, it’s an absence of joy. A void of emotion. The peaks and valleys become hills and ruts, the horizons dim and the colors fade.
When your emotional landscape is flat and gray, very few emotions can still paint the world a different color. Namely, anxiety. Anxiety isn’t really an emotion, it’s a complex interface between stress and thought. Anxiety taps into the same fear centers that can wake us up from a deep sleep - it’s a primal, fundamental neurological circuit that can and does break through the general malaise of depression.
This leaves you with the constant feeling of pressure. Normally, anxiety is dulled by the constant wash of normal human emotions, but when it’s the only thing you can feel… it’s rough. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
Depression is a deep, tangled mess. There are environmental and genetic factors. Causes and treatments might be purely psychological, might not. Treatment for depression - pharmaceutical or psychological - is very often flawed but almost always better than no treatment at all.
There is no single solution, and depression tends to wane so slowly and subtly that it’ll be hard to point to when or why you started to feel better. But you will feel better. And then you may feel worse again, so make sure you keep doing things that make you feel better… even when you don’t feel bad right now.
Depression also mutes the emotions you feel from your own memories and the emotions you feel from your predictions of the future. We always live in the present. Our past and our future are just simulations running in our minds. When we’re depressed, our past and future also becomes gray and anxious… even if the memories were once perfectly happy and the plans were once exciting and vibrant.
Whatever you do, it must be a part of a greater whole. Holistic treatment is key. Adjusting thought processes and habits, managing emotional responses, maintaining or improving your bodily health, speaking with professionals, taking on new hobbies and social engagements and personal responsibilities… all of these can help. All of these are hard to start.
Best of luck. Happy to talk more.
Damn… Thanks. I didn’t realize why reading OP’s post made me cry. I empathized real hard because this is kind of my life, emotionally. This puts it into perspective.
Man, it’s hard to know how to feel about this suggestion. I was incredibly depressed for decades, far worse than OPs deception and last year finally got put on antidepressants, which have gotten me to OPs level. So everything described is actually far far better than before for me and it’s been a relief to ONLY feel as described and not like actively ending it frequently.
Did I have Uber Depression before and now I only have regular?
I’m glad to hear you’re doing better than you were! Symptoms and severity can vary dramatically between people, but it can also vary dramatically within a single person’s experience. It sounds like you had it particularly rough.
I recommend embracing how far you’ve come. Allow yourself to feel proud and grateful as best you can.
Whatever you do, keep doing the things that work! Keep trying new things that might work too!
The most dangerous moment by far is when you’re just well enough to decide to let yourself lapse on the important things. Be suspicious of yourself at these times. Be mindful. Keep going.
As much as I can’t really help directly - except to say that I absolutely identify and empathise with your current state - can I just say that I really liked the prose of your post. Maybe you could write, if you don’t already? Be it short stories, a novel or a diary, you seem to have an inherent talent already.
Writing, I find, can help soothe the mind, too. 😊Yeah with how well this is written, a daily or weekly blog analyzing your feelings would be a great read and possibly have a side benefit of getting a grasp on the “why” and moving forward. Plus creative outlets are amazing at breaking up the dull monotony you’re describing
This is such a basic ass answer, but my recommendation would be to unplug, go outside, and read philosophy. Read Camus, read Sartre. Read existentialists in general. They talk about these things and come to interesting conclusions. Life is absurd. And it’s even more absurd than it’s ever been. The answer to that absurdity lies in your own personal meaning. Because life goes on whether you languish in it or attempt to find beauty in the monotony.
Another basic ass answer: It’s capitalism. Capitalism stole the meaning from your life to create profit for shareholders. It took the meaning from your life by telling you what job you have determines what you are. How long were we conditioned to attach our value as people to “what we want to be when we grow up.” Life feels meaningless because that deep conditioning is completely at odds with how we actually feel as people.
Another way you can start finding meaning is to find meaning in fighting against that. Find a job that you can ignore so you can live your life when you’re not working. Especially in the US we live to work. That creates this dissonance inside you because that’s fucking absurd. But it’s the kind of absurdity that should breed anger and resentment at the system, and those feelings should get translated into righteous action against these systems of exploitation and control. Find joy and immediacy in sabotaging ads conditioned to make us feel inferior. In doing anything that gives the finger to these twisted injustices.
There are a lot of ways to buck this feeling of joyless monotony. And the best way is to try to create something better, for yourself and for others. We are pushed to waste our “free” time consuming and producing. We are pushed to turn our hobbies and creativity into a “hustle.” Start revolting against these ideas in your everyday life and I think you will start to find a lot more meaning and joy. It’s scary, but a placid safety will while away your life and leave you feeling empty. Dangerous freedom will make you finally feel alive.
Most human beings are depressed by our current world.
If we fix wealth inequality things will get better.
Sounds familier, but Ive got no answers
It’s easy, first of all you have to
And once you did that all you have to do is
All you gotta do is
i started traveling when i felt like something was wrong with the way i was living and then did not stop traveling.
I’m living how i want to now, and the world is beautiful.
I’ll also say that not using the internet, even for a couple days, is incredibly relaxing, like letting out a held breath.
Explain how you afford to permanently travel, because this just sounds like bragging that you’re rich, not advice.
The cost of living in most countries is around $500 USD a month for transportation, rent, utilities and food, teaching English pays $2000 USD a month with zero qualifications or experience.
every month I taught English, I had a few exrra months of my cost of living.
I taught English for about 7 years.
as long as you’re making more than 500 USD a month remotely in any job, you can travel long-term.
if you want to backpack, CoL shoots down to $200 a month real quick.
I think you mean social media when you say internet right? Because I often learn technical things on the internet and that is not stressful, its actually fun.
i mean the internet, or screens in general, although social media can be particularly aggravating.
Getting off the internet as a whole for a number of days. Save some of that stuff for offline reading/watching and just don’t open the browser or any connected apps.
Getting off electronics once in a while is also good for your mind, let tedium in so you find something else to do, even if it’s thinking about things
Yeah true.
I feel the same way. I’m in college right now and haven’t even tried applying for internships. I’m entering my third year and am just too anxious from my inaction and my anxiety is causing my inaction. I honestly have no idea how to achieve my career goals besides interning and getting certifications. I feel like my university’s computer science program which I’m entrenched into is not preparing me for any of this. It’s been years since I programmed anything and I feel like a wet sausage sliding into mute failure. Not good, not bad. I don’t even know what the reward for doing anything is and haven’t for a long time. I just feel anxiety and confusion and want to be a network engineer but don’t know the right words to say to the right people at the right time. An analogy is like being an egg forced to become a chick by the time you are laid by the chicken. If you aren’t by then, you crack open and spill everywhere and have wasted all of your time.
And weirdly, my mind keeps drifting back to 2006. I don’t even know why exactly — maybe because it felt slower. Simpler. The internet was just fun and weird, not all-consuming.
It’s up to us to make it like that again.
Anyone else feel like this? Have you figured out how to shake it — or at least live with it in a way that makes sense?
I stopped participating/consuming into anything that is algorithmically managed. It means that I cut back on everything online that is not… man-made. I don’t do Twitter/X, Facebook, Reddit, and so on. I even almost completely quit using YT beside a couple channels. So, I use Lemmy, watch vids on non-YT platforms (peertube, for example) and I do read blogs and websites… all contents that are all created by actual persons (not some SEO-optimized or AI-crap), actual people that care about what it is they’re talking about.
I feel… detached. Like I’m watching my life from the outside, waiting for it to feel like mine again.
The thing with those corporation-owned ‘occupations’ is that our live don’t belong to us anymore. It’s theirs. Our live is a product they are exploiting (mining) and at the same time it’s… a service they’re selling back directly to us, as well as to other people that the algorithm thinks will (dis)like us.
Realizing that, I decided I did not want to be the product anymore no matter how much I liked their ‘services’.
And that was liberating. I would not want to go back to their precious little apps and algorithms. I spend a lot less time online, but I appreciate almost every second of it. Which to me at least seems like a good compromise ;)
edit: clarifications & typos.
How exactly does one go on peertube? There’s probably a lot of instances and it seems kind of overwhelming to “choose an instance I like”.
How exactly does one go on peertube?
For me, it’s by word-of-mouth. You stumble upon someone mentioning a video you might be interested in. A bit like the web used to work prior to its corporate take-over (and its ensuing enshitification), aka thx to careful curating made by actual people that want to share quality/useful info. So, a good starting point would be to start reading blogs focusing on whatever you may be interested in (not IA written or SEO-optimized crap, obviously) or to chat with actual people on forums related to that same interests of yours.
There’s probably a lot of instances and it seems kind of overwhelming to “choose an instance I like”.
One doesn’t go on peertube like one go on YT. There are many instances and that’s one of the quality compared to YT, imho. It’s not owned by a single corporation, the price being that’s is messier and less centralized (ease of use is the main Trojan horse used by corporations to make their ‘service’ so popular and, very quickly after that, a must have/use). With peertube almost anyone can (dedicate resources to) create a peertube instance. Like on Mastodon, or here on Lemmy. So, no one can force you to use ‘their’ instance (or can prevent you from watching whatever content they decided to not stream, and can’t force you to watch some other content either).
If you want something more centralized (but filled with questionable content) you may want to consider odysee.com. Also, keep in mind there is no alternative to YT: it’s unbelievably huge, you wont be able to find a 1-1 equivalency content-wise anywhere else. I think I explained in other thread that I severely reduced the amount of ‘creators’ I watch and not just on YT, in general.
Thanks for the explainer. So it’s more “discover as you go” if I understand correctly, and peertube is just where videos happen to be hosted but discovery generally happens outside of it.
Yeah, I’m aware of odysee. Can’t say I like it much. Maybe if they did some actual moderation instead of letting it be flooded with, as you say, questionable content.
So it’s more “discover as you go” if I understand correctly, and peertube is just where videos happen to be hosted but discovery generally happens outside of it.
for me, yep.
Can’t say I like it much. Maybe if they did some actual moderation instead of letting it be flooded with, as you say, questionable content.
Like with peertube, human-curated recs may do a difference.
I second sticking to social media platforms without an algorithm feed. When I scroll lemmy or mastodon, I feel satisfied sooner that I’ve seen what I’ve wanted to see, and actually get tired of content.
Exactly. Algorithm are trained to keep up unsatisfied, they’re literal drug dealers.
I want to second your comments about social media and algorithmic marketing. I completely stopped watching youtube unless a human recommended the video or i searched for the content myself. I don’t take recommendations from machine learning models - especially not ones designed and tuned to enrich billionaires at the expense of health, society, and democracy.
This probably sounds quaint, but i have returned to paper for my news/arts/culture stuff. I figure that if it is worth printing, it is more likely to be worth reading. Audio books can be nice, but I limit even them because they can intrude too much on my thinking time. I think part of the stress and fatigue i used to feel was related to a lack of reflection. It is good and healthy to just think. I am starting to wonder if daydreaming is a bit like daily exercise- not doing enough will really fuck you up.
One more thing i started doing that helped with my anomie was getting involved in helping people. I started volunteering at a church. Now, I am an atheist and very open about it (without, i hope, being a dick). But i found a church that is compatible with my beliefs and they do some nice community outreach. No one there has ever tried to convert me, so i extend them the same courtesy. The work is nothing heroic: i help stream the service so the elderly and disabled members (congregants?) can watch from home when they can’t make it, i help with the semi-annual food drive, and every now and then i make coffee for the old ladies while they have their meetings. It has made a huge difference in how i feel about my community. When i go out, i see friends and friendly people throughout the city. I feel like i am plugged into a mutual aid society and (try not to laugh) it makes me feel important in a way that work, school, and gym never did.
Question, what platform do elderly/disabled people prefer for tuning in to streams? Or what could you recommend?
Not that I’m planning to do this myself in my community rn, but I might be moving to a sleepy neighborhood later this year. If I ever want to set something up like this, it’d be cool to have something easy-to-use to suggest.
So at my church, we just stream the sunday service on Youtube. I would rather use peertube or something but I am not sure how some people would react to the change. At least one of our viewers uses a screen reader to browse; i don’t want to complicate her life.
I don’t take recommendations from machine learning models
I made up my mind sometimes ago but I do really think if a lot/enough of us were to stop using that nasty thing, corporations would be forced to reconsider the way they interact with us.
This probably sounds quaint, but i have returned to paper for my news/arts/culture stuff.
Not to me. I draft all my texts longhand, sketch and paint the same, and now over a year ago I quit reading ebooks because of privacy concerns, going back to print, including mags and newspapers… And my agenda is paper too.
Now, I am an atheist and very open about it (without, i hope, being a dick). But i found a church that is compatible with my beliefs and they do some nice community outreach
I’m one too but had an almost two hours long discussion yesterday afternoon with a catholic priest I went to ask questions about some passages I was reading in the New Testament. I was impressed by how available the guy was, and how open to discussion knowing I wasn’t a believer, and by how close our view points were on so many things (beside the God/Salvation part, obviously) and we both happily agreed on meeting again to discuss further.
I’m not surprised by what you’re saying about feeling connected. It’s something that could very easily happen to me with that priest and his little congregation. I offered to help him in my field of exper… in those things I’m not completely incompetent, and will renew my offer next time we meet. Then, I’ll see if he sees any use in it or not. Meanwhile, he gave a me a couple books from the church’s library for me to read.
It was nice to read your reply! Digital tools are fine but i find nothing beats paper for making art.
I was also pleasantly surprised to have a comfortable one-on-one with my minister. Her thinking is very sophisticated - even when it comes to her own faith - and she is completely sincere about recognizing and making amends for historic wrongs committed by the church.
I get like this when I’m avoiding dealing with a bigger issue. I get in a routine of distractions from dealing with something it’s kind of a bland purgatory.
Most of the time these days I face whatever it is and things get bettter. Occasionally it’s something I can’t tackle alone, right now I’m talking to a therapist.As far as time speeding up, I have a recommendation. Do something out of your comfort zone at least once a month. If you aren’t doing new things time speeds up. Work is usually so monotonous it makes time speed by. I’ve been happily surprised at how much time seems to have slowed down since I quit my job and I get out and do new stuff more often.
Life is what you make it.
No one else will do anything about your life other than you.There is no grand meaning, you just live. So make it what you want it to be.
It’s also natural to be depressed in life. Don’t let that stop you from living.
No I do not, life is fun. You know why? I’m on a serotonine medication
It’s the 21st century. Don’t be unhappy. Be happy. It’s better.
Build a family
I don’t live in the 21st century, I live in isolation and without medication. And I assume others in the thread are similar.
No I can’t imagine any path to even living in a different place in the US, let alone getting out. Even some of the edge cases I likely won’t ever have the connection(s) for it to be a possibility.
Depression has episodes. Which means that at some times you will feel surges of energy. It’s up to you to start doing anything you can to keep supplying your brain with serotonine then. Can do this by working out for example.
How much would a SSRI cost for you?
I’m well aware, I ride my bike on a trail (though not many destinations and heat can be an issue) and I even reorganized my room recently. Though it seems like it’s impossible to control/sustain.
For me (carless) it’s more about the distance to even picking up medication (more-so care esp not-the-closest-hospital), paperwork and appointments, time slots and waiting lists. Family is anti-doctor. Many of my issues likely won’t be helped much by standard medical options, even depression (particularly when something like a personality disorder is part of it) already seems like a coin flip.
Also with the current administration I don’t trust that if I got started I’d still have access before getting stable (plus you cannot just take a break from most brain meds w/o tapering off).
Give it a go anyways, it’s medicine. It alters your brain chemistry. For some it’s effective, for others not.
Depressed people are pessimistic because they are depressed, so everything you’re saying I’m literally just ignoring and telling you to get the help you need.
I likely have a personality disorder too, otherwise I wouldn’t be required to job hop every year. Which I completely ignore. See how that works? If I don’t want help, or even see a reason for help, then nobody can help me anyways.
Only reason my depression got treated was because I was self aware and wanted help there. The moment I had suicidal thoughts because of an episode, I just went to the doctor the next day and got medication. Been on meds for 2 years now, never better.
Psychologist said I have mild autism, but she’s probably wrong on that. But what do I know, she’s the one with a PhD and decades of work experience. I just don’t see it.
I just went to the doctor the next day and got medication
If it were that easy sure, but it doesn’t work that way here (certainly not walk-ins, phone doesn’t work for me). That was my thinking when replying to your top-level comment, that most people (in the US at least) will have more trouble getting there.
