My post got banned for being “wrecker behaviour”. I don’t know the community here, I joined because people said Hexbear is trans friendly, can someone explain the terminology? Google has other people using the word but nobody explaining it
My post got banned for being “wrecker behaviour”. I don’t know the community here, I joined because people said Hexbear is trans friendly, can someone explain the terminology? Google has other people using the word but nobody explaining it
In genuine good faith, do you consider calling someone an Alcoholic a slur?
Well, alcoholism is an addiction, and addictions are mental illnesses. If you called someone an alcoholic because they’re drinking too much, I’d consider it proper medical terminology and not a slur. If you called someone an alcoholic because you don’t like them and you want to accuse them of mental illness, I’d consider it problematic, but not a slur. If we lived in a world where accusing someone of addiction in order to attack them was commonplace, then in that hypothetic world I’d call it a slur.
What’s a wrecker?
So someone who exhibits some of the traits of an alcoholic, its open season to call them an alcoholic despite it being a medical condition, in your eyes and not problematic because its a medical term.
But to call someone a narcissist when they exhibit the traits of a narcissist is ableist and a slur despite the difficulties, impact and similarities that people who are alcoholics and narcissists both share?
I’m not saying they are the same but at its core it’s an inability to control one’s behaviours or actions as a result of a condition usually caused by outside conditions?
I’m asking this as someone with Borderline Personality Disorder which again shares similarities with NPD in how its usually a reaction to abuse or trauma and can (not always) manifest with very toxic behaviour by the sufferer before you jump on me for not understanding your point.
So I do get what it’s like to see people talk about someone with a condition I have in the way you’ve described and it hurts, “oh they have BPD” followed by “oh that explains it” and that pisses me off hugely so I get it must hurt when people with NPD see someone flippantly calling someone a narcissist.
There’s definitely a conversation to be had here, a struggle session if you will BUT I find it weird that you consider narcissist unacceptable but alcoholic fine to use despite the similarties that can be drawn from how medical science and linguistics have let both sides down in how they relate to problematic but not medically noted conditions and how that might make actual sufferers feel.
The thing is a wrecker is someone who comes into a community. Kicks off loads of shit and grief and tries to split the community up into factions leading to its inevitable decline. This is usually accomplished with inflammatory call out strategies like posting hot takes or taking absolutist positions on nuanced topics to drive up conflict in the instance.
Several of your comments and posts have exactly that energy and now your acting like you are hard done to which could be construed as further wrecker behaviour as it is.
Are you a wrecker? Dunno, maybe.
But if you honestly care about bringing the conversation around slurs/ableism and how we use words like narcissist to this community to educate, maybe try and build up some rep by not being a argumentative belligerent individual and kicking off so that people take you seriously when you have a decent point?
No, I think calling someone a narcissist when you have a strong understanding of the medical meaning is okay, and I wouldn’t consider it a slur in those cases. As you’ll see in the other threads, I took issue with someone describing neurotypical behaviour as narcissistic.
No, that’s not the core of NPD. The core of NPD is lack of healthy ego development. This results of struggles with self esteem and relating to others. Most commonly by creating a false ego which needs to be bigger than a regular one because it’s brittle and breaks easily.
People perceive NPD as being a disorder of bad behaviour for two reasons. First: Ableist stereotypes spread by self help books and hateful people. Second: When a narcissist’s false ego is destroyed they become completely unable to function as a person, overcome with suicidal grief, and so many narcissists will go to great lengths to protect their egos out of a desire to live, even in situations where that trauma response isn’t correct or helpful.
Thank you. Am I also correct to assume that when you see anti-BPD hate speech, you feel a dread in the pit of your stomach that this speech is going to embolden someone to abuse a borderline?
I’m nonbinary. People think having emotions and opinions is belligerent behaviour when it comes from enbies. The patriarchy expects us to be demure, submissive sex objects. And I refuse to follow that gender role. I speak with the same boldness as an average male, because I think enbies and males deserve the same rights.
I’m sorry but you don’t get to have your cake and eat it friend.
Thats literally what I’m saying. The presentation of NPD would be considered aberrant in terms of “normal” social etiquette same as any other personality disorder and how NPD presents is a reaction to the deeper struggles of an NPD sufferer and proper ego development can be stunted by outside conditions. I’m not trying to define NPD, I’m just saying how it presents its output is reliant on the condition that is created externally. The process you described, and that same flow chart of how the symptoms present is present in every personality disorder including alcoholism hence I find your cherry picking of when to apply the slur hammer kinda weird.
Nobody calls it that and very few know about it or understand it outside of sufferers and relatives so it’s more about the feeling i see when people talk flippantly about the struggles of people with personality disorders they don’t understand. Silent disability and all that.
That’s cool, I won’t pretend to understand the nuances of what non binary people suffer relative to my own as a binary trans person but ngl that final paragraph didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
Either way have a good one I’m disengaging now
OooooOoooOoOooooo silently fades away