My post got banned for being “wrecker behaviour”. I don’t know the community here, I joined because people said Hexbear is trans friendly, can someone explain the terminology? Google has other people using the word but nobody explaining it

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    In a more accurate sense, a wrecker means someone who turns people against each other, needlessly generates rifts, agitates in an internal direction, or thrives off internal conflict.

    On this site mods extend the use of it to mean anyone who makes bad-faith arguments.

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I would encourage you to stop posting for a bit and just browse the site for a few days to see how folks generally engage with each other here. In doing so I think you’ll come to your own understanding of what wrecking is. Hexbear is a very friendly space but you do have to really try to understand the community and the space to understand how that friendliness manifests. It’s okay if you do that inspection and realize Hexbear isn’t for you.

  • blight [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    A wrecker is someone who wrecks. Especially when it comes to new accounts, we tend to err on the side of caution. I don’t really understand what you want?

  • SexUnderSocialism [she/her]@hexbear.netM
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    1 year ago

    You’ve been on a roll today. Aside from that post, you’ve had comments removed for being questionable as well, because they looked like reactionary caricatures of serious issues, in order to bait people and stir shit. That’s what a wrecker does. On top of that, you had a second account banned for using an inappropriate name, which you asked about in another post on your @lemm.ee account. I thought you were serious when you said you were looking for a trans friendly space after you told us you left lemmy.blahaj.zone, but at this stage you’re just fucking around.

  • JuryNullification [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I’ll bite:

    A wrecker is a person who stirs shit in a community in a negative manner. This can be intentional or unintentional, but it doesn’t matter, the result is the same. Wreckers “wreck” a community.

    In a way, it’s similar to calling someone a “fed,” but the implications are a bit different. Whereas a fed is either an employee of a nation-state intelligence agency or a paid informant, wreckers could be doing fed shit for free, and even unintentionally.

    There is a long and storied history of wreckers destroying left wing groups and movements. I am personally aware of two local left wing groups that were dismantled by a very small number of wreckers, and it has taken us years of hard work to rebuild them from the ground up when the wreckers could have left if they were honest or been kicked out and the work continued. Now, these people may have just been assholes, but the effect was the same: a suppression of left wing activism in my local community and wins for capital.

    People often misappropriate Marxist, anarchist, or even therapeutic terminology and language in a way that is intellectually dishonest and results in infighting that pushes activists and potential activists away or results in the dissolution of the group entirely. Whether this is intentional or not is unimportant: the result wrecks movements and is wrecker behavior.

    • RoomAndBored [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      This can be intentional or unintentional, but it doesn’t matter, the result is the same. Wreckers “wreck” a community.

      Well put. For a word that may appear self explanatory, the point that intention doesn’t matter is what I understand sets a ‘wrecker’ apart from a simple ‘troll’.

    • DroneRights [it/its]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 year ago

      Ah. So, suppose we lived in a sexist society where oppression of women was normal, and not seen as a problem, as divisive, or as a dispute by most people. In this hypothetical society, if a woman were to say “misogyny is bad”, and to be perceived as sowing division and starting disputes, then would she be considered a wrecker?

      • Vampire [any]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Marxism is about uniting the forces of change, and keeping them united and strong so that they can fight and win a revolution. Read Mao’s Little Red Book.

      • RoomAndBored [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Yes. Wrecker is without ideology in this definition. In so far as the woman would be deliberately implanting herself in and wrecking misogynistic communities, then I would say it is consistent with your example.

        The same tactics can be employed against our ideological enemies in the same way they are used against us.

        Engaging in wrecker behaviour in online and offline reactionary spaces is dangerous, due to the risk of doxxing and coming to personal harm, so I don’t think it’s as regularly employed by leftists.

        • DroneRights [it/its]@hexbear.netOP
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          1 year ago

          I mean what if she said that as a member of society? Like at her job, or at the christmas family dinner? Would she be a wrecker? What if the mainstream left and the mainstream right in her society were both misogynist and there weren’t any non-misogynist spaces anywhere?

          • RoomAndBored [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            No, I personally would not consider that wrecker behaviour. We could debate the boundaries of what is considered an organisation which can be ‘wrecked’, but I don’t think that’s productive right now.

            I imagine that if she were to find a place that weren’t misogynistic, she would consider her conduct within that structure and work to support it both against internal and external attacks.

            Wrecker behaviour which detracts from this is directly or indirectly doing the work of the misogynists.

            • DroneRights [it/its]@hexbear.netOP
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              1 year ago

              So you’re saying that if society in its entirety is hostile and oppressive to a minority, then existing as a member of that minority and demanding rights isn’t wrecking?

              How would a minority go about defending themself if they were accused of wrecking for being oppressed and wanting it to stop?

    • DroneRights [it/its]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 year ago

      Well, alcoholism is an addiction, and addictions are mental illnesses. If you called someone an alcoholic because they’re drinking too much, I’d consider it proper medical terminology and not a slur. If you called someone an alcoholic because you don’t like them and you want to accuse them of mental illness, I’d consider it problematic, but not a slur. If we lived in a world where accusing someone of addiction in order to attack them was commonplace, then in that hypothetic world I’d call it a slur.

      What’s a wrecker?

      • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        So someone who exhibits some of the traits of an alcoholic, its open season to call them an alcoholic despite it being a medical condition, in your eyes and not problematic because its a medical term.

        But to call someone a narcissist when they exhibit the traits of a narcissist is ableist and a slur despite the difficulties, impact and similarities that people who are alcoholics and narcissists both share?

        I’m not saying they are the same but at its core it’s an inability to control one’s behaviours or actions as a result of a condition usually caused by outside conditions?

        I’m asking this as someone with Borderline Personality Disorder which again shares similarities with NPD in how its usually a reaction to abuse or trauma and can (not always) manifest with very toxic behaviour by the sufferer before you jump on me for not understanding your point.

        So I do get what it’s like to see people talk about someone with a condition I have in the way you’ve described and it hurts, “oh they have BPD” followed by “oh that explains it” and that pisses me off hugely so I get it must hurt when people with NPD see someone flippantly calling someone a narcissist.

        There’s definitely a conversation to be had here, a struggle session if you will BUT I find it weird that you consider narcissist unacceptable but alcoholic fine to use despite the similarties that can be drawn from how medical science and linguistics have let both sides down in how they relate to problematic but not medically noted conditions and how that might make actual sufferers feel.

        The thing is a wrecker is someone who comes into a community. Kicks off loads of shit and grief and tries to split the community up into factions leading to its inevitable decline. This is usually accomplished with inflammatory call out strategies like posting hot takes or taking absolutist positions on nuanced topics to drive up conflict in the instance.

        Several of your comments and posts have exactly that energy and now your acting like you are hard done to which could be construed as further wrecker behaviour as it is.

        Are you a wrecker? Dunno, maybe.

        But if you honestly care about bringing the conversation around slurs/ableism and how we use words like narcissist to this community to educate, maybe try and build up some rep by not being a argumentative belligerent individual and kicking off so that people take you seriously when you have a decent point?

        • DroneRights [it/its]@hexbear.netOP
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          1 year ago

          But to call someone a narcissist when they exhibit the traits of a narcissist is ableist and a slur despite the difficulties, impact and similarities that people who are alcoholics and narcissists both share?

          No, I think calling someone a narcissist when you have a strong understanding of the medical meaning is okay, and I wouldn’t consider it a slur in those cases. As you’ll see in the other threads, I took issue with someone describing neurotypical behaviour as narcissistic.

          at its core it’s an inability to control one’s behaviours or actions as a result of a condition usually caused by outside conditions?

          No, that’s not the core of NPD. The core of NPD is lack of healthy ego development. This results of struggles with self esteem and relating to others. Most commonly by creating a false ego which needs to be bigger than a regular one because it’s brittle and breaks easily.

          People perceive NPD as being a disorder of bad behaviour for two reasons. First: Ableist stereotypes spread by self help books and hateful people. Second: When a narcissist’s false ego is destroyed they become completely unable to function as a person, overcome with suicidal grief, and so many narcissists will go to great lengths to protect their egos out of a desire to live, even in situations where that trauma response isn’t correct or helpful.

          So I do get what it’s like to see people talk about someone with a condition I have in the way you’ve described and it hurts, “oh they have BPD” followed by “oh that explains it” and that pisses me off hugely so I get it must hurt when people with NPD see someone flippantly calling someone a narcissist.

          Thank you. Am I also correct to assume that when you see anti-BPD hate speech, you feel a dread in the pit of your stomach that this speech is going to embolden someone to abuse a borderline?

          But if you honestly care about bringing the conversation around slurs/ableism and how we use words like narcissist to this community to educate, maybe try and build up some rep by not being a argumentative belligerent individual and kicking off so that people take you seriously when you have a decent point?

          I’m nonbinary. People think having emotions and opinions is belligerent behaviour when it comes from enbies. The patriarchy expects us to be demure, submissive sex objects. And I refuse to follow that gender role. I speak with the same boldness as an average male, because I think enbies and males deserve the same rights.

          • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            No, I think calling someone a narcissist when you have a strong understanding of the medical meaning is okay, and I wouldn’t consider it a slur in those cases. As you’ll see in the other threads, I took issue with someone describing neurotypical behaviour as narcissistic.

            I’m sorry but you don’t get to have your cake and eat it friend.

            No, that’s not the core of NPD. The core of NPD is lack of healthy ego development. This results of struggles with self esteem and relating to others. Most commonly by creating a false ego which needs to be bigger than a regular one because it’s brittle and breaks easily.

            Thats literally what I’m saying. The presentation of NPD would be considered aberrant in terms of “normal” social etiquette same as any other personality disorder and how NPD presents is a reaction to the deeper struggles of an NPD sufferer and proper ego development can be stunted by outside conditions. I’m not trying to define NPD, I’m just saying how it presents its output is reliant on the condition that is created externally. The process you described, and that same flow chart of how the symptoms present is present in every personality disorder including alcoholism hence I find your cherry picking of when to apply the slur hammer kinda weird.

            Thank you. Am I also correct to assume that when you see anti-BPD hate speech, you feel a dread in the pit of your stomach that this speech is going to embolden someone to abuse a borderline?

            Nobody calls it that and very few know about it or understand it outside of sufferers and relatives so it’s more about the feeling i see when people talk flippantly about the struggles of people with personality disorders they don’t understand. Silent disability and all that.

            That’s cool, I won’t pretend to understand the nuances of what non binary people suffer relative to my own as a binary trans person but ngl that final paragraph didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.

            Either way have a good one I’m disengaging now

            OooooOoooOoOooooo silently fades away

  • RoomAndBored [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I’ve understood it to mean something similar to a troll but the call is coming from inside the building, i.e. a person who is disruptive/destructive, usually with malicious intent or disregard for the impact of their actions, but who positions themself as, or comes from, within the community they are wrecking.

    Also, a wrecker says what?

  • Gosplan14_the_Third [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Someone who pretends to be part of a community (in this case, communists) only to intentionally cause drama, infighting, etc.

    It can be cops, it can be fascists, it can be random bored libs, etc.