Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.
What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand
Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.
What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand
God this thread is trash
I hate the term friendzoned.
I also hate the idea that people should be expected to stay friends with someone, even if being rejected made their emotions feels complicated.
Nobody’s experiences are universal. Some people can handle rejection fine. Other people take months to get over things.
And nobody’s emotions are more important than anyone else’s.
The important thing is, that consent goes both ways. You can’t just expect someone to be in a friendship with you because they asked you out, just like how they can’t expect you to be in a romantic relationship with them because they asked you out. Romantic attraction does not always come with a side serving of platonic attraction (even though it often does). The flip side of this- forcing someone to be in a romantic relationship because they wanted to be friends with you- is obviously and absurdly toxic. Why is expecting someone to stay friends with you any different? Everyone deserves friends and lovers (if they want them), but nobody should be obligated to provide.
And none of this “change your emotions” shit. You might have been able to adjust your viewpoint with a friend yourself, but that’s your own experience. Not everyone is going to be able to change their emotions and nobody should be expected to. Being told to just… change your feelings like that is insanely invalidating. Sick of this “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality being applied to interpersonal relationships. Don’t.
None of this is to say that it’s impossible or even usually difficult to be friends with someone you’ve asked out, just that there should be room for all emotions, and people are allowed to break up both friendships and relationships for stupid reasons. Yeah, it’s frustrating, and that’s valid, too, but relationships and friendships where one person doesn’t want to be there, even if it’s for a stupid reason, won’t end well
And don’t get me started on some of the weird comments here that smell like incel screeds. Like I don’t think us calling a white guy misogynistic is going to cause fascism.