Of course. As soon as Putin finally gets the position as Speaker of the House he’ll advance a bill that switches the US from capitalism to communism, which will go so well that the EU follows suit within days. This is about one week from now.
Then the unprecedented collaboration of the world having shrugged off the yoke of capitalism will solve nuclear fusion gaining total energy independence. That’s going to be about two more weeks give or take a few days.
Oh, and all Christians will have given up their religion for atheism of course in the interim, so middle east policy based on Revelations goes out the window.
At that point the US and EU will withdraw their support for Israel and instead give their support to Palestine, no longer having any reasons to need a strategic ally in the region.
The paperwork and inevitable killing of Israelis may take about another week after that, but with a bit of luck in the scheduling, it will be wrapped up a month from now.
Yes comrade, and the month after that Putin, having completely taken over Ukraine somehow and then inevitably sent its whole population on a one-way trip to Siberia, will use his icebreaker fleet and what’s left of his navy to liberate Alaska’s 5 ethnic
Russians, immediately decimating our they/them army before they even get there by simply being straight so that within mere hours they secure the entire state and, after inevitably wiping out the native Alaskans and all of Anchorage’s gays, hold a free and fair referendum where 109% of the remaining population votes to form the Alyeska People’s Republic. Then they’ll somehow sneak past the narrow and well-guarded Puget Sound without getting hit by missiles from a mountain or running aground in the fog and then create the Sietl People’s Republic (all without having their cheap uniforms soaked in the rain and dying of pneumonia), gobbling up all those tech and airplane manufacturing secrets (so we can finally see actual innovation without capitalistic monopolies yay!) and going on yet another homophobic killing spree, this time spanning several cities. The PNW shall be free from capitalistic US tyranny!!!1
Meanwhile, China will claim that since Hawaiians are descended from Taiwanese aborigines, it historically owns Hawaii; the american-mainland-hating locals will defs be on board with another continental imperialist stealing their land and turning it into a state-sized tourist resort again- this time peppered with a few boarding schools and sterilizations. It will be the beginning of the end for the American Empire™, I can’t wait!
Now that the largest lemmy instance has finally severed ties with them for fapping to Hamas slaughtering Israeli children, they shall be a mere shell of their former self and this will undoubtedly cripple their ability to brigade and caps-lock their way into retaking Lemmy and turning it back into the Far-Left Truth Social it originally was before its colonization by the normal, non-tankie redditors who founded .world to post about normal redditish things
Yeah, in a month I’m going to be staring absently at indescribable numbers of Palestinian casualties, feeling blessed to lie a country so far from such a situation, and feeling cursed for living in a world that allows it.
Really?
Of course. As soon as Putin finally gets the position as Speaker of the House he’ll advance a bill that switches the US from capitalism to communism, which will go so well that the EU follows suit within days. This is about one week from now.
Then the unprecedented collaboration of the world having shrugged off the yoke of capitalism will solve nuclear fusion gaining total energy independence. That’s going to be about two more weeks give or take a few days.
Oh, and all Christians will have given up their religion for atheism of course in the interim, so middle east policy based on Revelations goes out the window.
At that point the US and EU will withdraw their support for Israel and instead give their support to Palestine, no longer having any reasons to need a strategic ally in the region.
The paperwork and inevitable killing of Israelis may take about another week after that, but with a bit of luck in the scheduling, it will be wrapped up a month from now.
Mark his words.
Who’s Mark? And why does he have words?
… there’s some rapture movies that sound a lot like that.
deleted by creator
Yes comrade, and the month after that Putin, having completely taken over Ukraine somehow and then inevitably sent its whole population on a one-way trip to Siberia, will use his icebreaker fleet and what’s left of his navy to liberate Alaska’s 5 ethnic Russians, immediately decimating our they/them army before they even get there by simply being straight so that within mere hours they secure the entire state and, after inevitably wiping out the native Alaskans and all of Anchorage’s gays, hold a free and fair referendum where 109% of the remaining population votes to form the Alyeska People’s Republic. Then they’ll somehow sneak past the narrow and well-guarded Puget Sound without getting hit by missiles from a mountain or running aground in the fog and then create the Sietl People’s Republic (all without having their cheap uniforms soaked in the rain and dying of pneumonia), gobbling up all those tech and airplane manufacturing secrets (so we can finally see actual innovation without capitalistic monopolies yay!) and going on yet another homophobic killing spree, this time spanning several cities. The PNW shall be free from capitalistic US tyranny!!!1
Meanwhile, China will claim that since Hawaiians are descended from Taiwanese aborigines, it historically owns Hawaii; the american-mainland-hating locals will defs be on board with another continental imperialist stealing their land and turning it into a state-sized tourist resort again- this time peppered with a few boarding schools and sterilizations. It will be the beginning of the end for the American Empire™, I can’t wait!
/s
This is great, thank you
Downvoted for the /s
Mark those words!!!
🙄🙄🙄🙄
I stopped reading at that point. While I would love for that to be true, it’s absolutely batshit to think it will happen.
I’ve marked them. In my calendar. I’ll be paying the grad a visit in a month to see how things are going.
Now that the largest lemmy instance has finally severed ties with them for fapping to Hamas slaughtering Israeli children, they shall be a mere shell of their former self and this will undoubtedly cripple their ability to brigade and caps-lock their way into retaking Lemmy and turning it back into the Far-Left Truth Social it originally was before its colonization by the normal, non-tankie redditors who founded .world to post about normal redditish things
Hopefully, but those weaselly fucks have infiltrated and taken over leftist subreddit before. I wouldn’t put it past them to try it on lemmy.
Yeah, in a month I’m going to be staring absently at indescribable numbers of Palestinian casualties, feeling blessed to lie a country so far from such a situation, and feeling cursed for living in a world that allows it.
Yeah, like that Family Guy bit. Bibi saw signs reading “Free Palestine” and said, “Sold.”
Deluded
How’s that going huh lol