• Sentient Loom
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      915 days ago

      So you’ve tried these techniques and they didn’t work? Or have you not tried them at all?

      • TurtlePower
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        315 days ago

        I haven’t tried them all, but I just gave my wife a Kraft Singles slice, and she is completely fascinated with it, going, “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?”

        • Sentient Loom
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          115 days ago

          It seems to have worked retroactively since she is now your wife.

          • TurtlePower
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            215 days ago

            Actually, I won her over with flowers…

            “You wanna smoke a bowl?”

            However, I get her to stay by providing coffee, chocolate, and cheese, so I guess the spell is incomplete in that book, as it only speaks of cheese. And of course, I still bring her fresh flowers. I’m just an old-fashioned guy, I guess.

            • @Randomocity
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              115 days ago

              Are you sure that if you wouldn’t have brought her the chocolate and coffee you wouldn’t be married? Pretty sure just the cheese would’ve worked

              • Sentient Loom
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                115 days ago

                Which cheese goes best with coffee?

                • @Randomocity
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                  214 days ago

                  Probably one that’s easy to mix in. Maybe a cheez whiz

      • @pkmkdz
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        215 days ago

        Bro tried them all but has skill issue