>sleeping nude, as usual
>wake up, sleep paralysis
>feel stroking against the side of my head, hear “there there, it’ll be fine…”
>feel imbued with power and RAGE
>suddenly no longer paralyzed
>LAUNCH myself out of bed, unmute computer, turn on screen
>Techno Rocker Rob Mayth Remix begins blasting at max volume, looping
>grab flamberge (picture of a glowing red sword being forged)
>run all through house, waving sword about while nude, flipping lights on
>roaring “COME OUT AND PLAY, MOTHERFUCKER”
>did this for an hour
>5:30AM by the time my rage dies down
>scream “FUUUUCK YEEEEAAAAAH” turn off lights, go to sleep
>no experiences since
also
>neighbor asks me what the fuck I was doing running around naked with a large sword last night >ask him why he was watching >he shuts up
“Why were you watching!?!”
“Because a screaming naked weird cunt with a sword at 5am is unusual you fucking autist”
Criticizing the crazy? That’s a flambergin’.
“Oh, is that your fetish? Pervert??”
I mean… yes, but I’d damn sure shut the hell up too. Probably while doing the awkward sideways shuffle towards the nearest exit.