I met a girl that I’m interested in and enjoys comics like I do, would something like asking her out to a comic store be dumb? I have a hard time talking to girls so not sure if this would be a dumb idea.

  • otp
    42·
    10 months ago

    I think my issue with it is that OP wants it to be a date. If it’s a date in OP’s mind, but he asks for a simple hangout, and she agrees, did OP get a date?

    If OP thinks it’s a date and the girl doesn’t, then that’s setting up OP with problems down the line.

    I don’t think it would come across as sleazy to make one’s intentions clear. Well, as long as it’s about a date, and not about sex, lol

      • otp
        12·
        10 months ago

        I’m not sure what I did to make you feel old, but I’m old too! Haha

        I get where you’re coming from too, and that’s probably how I would('ve) approach(ed) it myself. But that would be if I were okay with having a friend and getting rejected as a romantic interest down the line if that’s how it were to play out.

        So, IMHO, OP would need to consider what they’re looking for and what they’re ok and not ok with. If they don’t want to end up with an awkward “I thought we were just friends, and I would never consider you romantically” conversation, then they should make a date clear. If they’re fine with hearing “Let’s just be friends” down the line, then a hangout is perfectly fine.

          • otp
            12·
            10 months ago

            Lol nobody is friendzoning me.

            I have lots of women in my life, and a common thing they share is that they often have to find a way to bring up their boyfriend/fiancé/husband (who occasionally doesn’t actually exist in some cases) ASAP whenever they meet a new man who wants to “hang out” because so many men don’t make their intentions clear. A younger woman might not know to do that, or might not assume OP’s intentions one way or the other.

            My point is just that if OP wants a relationship and would be unhappy with “just friendship”, he should make it clear that he’s interested in a date.

            If he’s okay with “friendship, and if a relationship happens great, if not, I’m perfectly fine with just friendship!”, then you’re absolutely right that just a “hangout” is the way to go.

              • otp
                12·
                10 months ago

                Lol I’m married…must be because I live in Canada where all the girlfriends live. I also went to “the other school, you haven’t heard of it”! Lmao

                I think you’re mistaken that adding the word “date” when asking someone out would be inherently negative. Definitely not insecure – asking for what you want and being able to take “no” for an answer is a sign of strong emotional maturity.

                I would argue that wanting a date and not making it clear when asking is inconsiderate of the woman’s feelings. If she wants a friendship and not a relationship, but he only wants a relationship…but he makes it seem like he wants friendship…that feels almost deceptive.

                Again, it really comes down to what OP wants and doesn’t want, and is/isn’t okay with.

                  • otp
                    12·
                    10 months ago

                    I didn’t come here to discuss you. And I’m done discussing you.

                    You might want to re-read your last couple of comments in this chain then, where you were (I guess) trying to take jabs at me to make your point seem stronger, or something? Lol