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I’m Dr. Sharkzo and I like cocaaaaine.
(I understand this reference might be a bit old for most of the platform but if you’re unfamiliar with it just browse some clips of Dr. Rockso)
Ca-Ca-Ca YEEAAAHHH, baby…
Metalocalypse isn’t old, it only came out… 18 years ago… damnit
There is a person somewhere who just finished their SATs and was conceived to… DUNCAN HILLS COFFEE
So much cocaine…
A coo-coo-coo-coo!!!
Cocaine shark do do do do do do
That song has to be a by-product of cocaine use
“jar jar binks has a caribbean black accent”
I assume Cocaine Shark is already a movie on Tubi, but if it isn’t give it a couple weeks.
It’s a movie produced in 2023: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt27036391/
Shockingly, it’s not made by The Asylum.
I’m kind of impressed. I’ve never seen a 1.8 imdb rating before
Nice. And yeah, it’s on Tubi. I think it can be properly reclassified as a documentary given this article here.
And if you think that one’s scary, wait until you see Cocaine Pangolin.
An explosion at a lab lets loose onto the streets an army of mutated, murderous sharks and other creatures injected with a potent new stimulant.
New? What about all those bricks floating out there? I’m kinda thinking they should redo that description. They could do a whole series of movies about orca whales maybe they’d be less pissed if they weren’t eating so much cocaine instead of the bricks of weed
I get it it’s a B movie and all…
Is that the sequel to Cocaine Bear? Where the sharks start swimming up rivers and they release the bear to fight the shark.
Like a Godzilla movie?
First off, I get pretty serious about Godzilla movies, so we’ll leave that alone out of common decency.
Second, the movie you’re describing is a franchise crossover between Cocaine Bear and Cocaine Shark. I heard they’re bringing Meth Moose in for the follow up.
Only in the genre, not in the same league.
Also…. Meth Moose?? That’s actually a movie I’d watch.
It looks like there are a few meth gator movies out there, but nobody’s done a moose yet. If I were any kind of ambitious I might get that copyrighted. Fair game if anyone wants to use it though; I’d watch it too.
There’s probably some Hollywood script writer taking notes about to run off to the nearest LLM to slap prompts into.
Then they’re gonna do a cross over event where they introduce Ganja Goose
Let them fight
How can a shark even do cocaine without a blowhole?
Through the gills
There are the real questions.
Mabes they like feeling on their gums
They are doing numbies like you wouldn’t believe
Does that mean they’re banned from the Olympics?
No, they just can’t compete under the shark flag
I didn’t even know there were that many sharks
…And my guy can’t find shit.
Jaws 8 won’t be so bad because his crippling coke addiction has ground all his teeth to nubs.
Brazilian snowpowder, works on people, works on sharks. Wonder what else it’ll work on.
