It’s bad from the outside, but the inside is so much worse. And it gets worse the more you look at it. So many details that are just so awful. Living in this “house” is probably miserable.
This is the first time I’ve seen a “it just keeps getting worse” post and actually agreed. I went in n just expecting terrible siding, then the inside of the house, then the chairs, then the lights, then more chairs, the carpet, the exposed wiring, why are there chairs there?, it just kept escalating. Thank you for this.
I concur. Most “it gets worse” style posts have one or two odd things. This one truly delivered.
It’s a 3 bedroom (all queens?), 5 bath house with seating for 20. It’s either some crazy orgies at night in only a few beds, a business call center kind of place, or they had massive family gatherings with alarming regularity. Of course there’s always the cult option, which means it could also be “all of the above”.
There is the wall of family photos on shelves… Maybe family get together center?
What’s up with the industrial scale sewing equipment?
I made my wife look at it, then I had to go back because she noticed even more insanity. It just kept getting worse every time we went through the pictures.
It’s a quilting sewing machine. I saw one once at an art exhibit.
I like that that the bath and shower have the water valves outside of them.
Wow. Missed that. Why get wet. It’s a convenience.
Don’t forget the
mazeporch and the fans and ac units stuck randomly in walls.I think it’s designed to confuse you so you can’t get out.
Somebody got a smoking deal on a ridiculous quantity of siding.
With all those hard surfaces and open spaces, the echoes in this place must be unreal.
That’s why they carpeted the bedroom walls.
The current owner is the only guy in North America to not have a podcast.
But, suspiciously, has 25 people comfortably living with him.
And office chairs!
I lost it when I saw that the siding continues inside. They really went for that one texture look.
Also the through-wall Air Conditioner in the shower???
What do you mean I can’t install siding on the inside… It’s called “siding” not “outsiding” it goes on every side!
I was really disappointed that in Exterior Features there was Vinyl Siding listed but it wasn’t also listed on the Interior Features. I would’ve lost it at that.
Definitely a missed opportunity on the part of whoever made this listing lmao
Probably only reason it isn’t listed that way is because no one thought to put vinyl siding as an “interior” option in the database.
Got to plan for anything!
Yeah, I figured that was the reasoning. Definitely a software/database issue. This is why we need bespoke real estate listings for one of a kind properties.
I thought the same thing when I read it.
There’s a through-wall box fan just outside another shower.
I finally got to a bedroom picture where it looked like painted walls, then zoomed in to see it was carpet. My only explanation is Mormonism, as I have only ever seen carpeted walls in my chapel growing up. Mind you, that was rough spiky carpet seemingly installed to discourage sleeping against the wall.
If you have any idea where to get that sisal fabric wall covering, I’d love to know; it’s amazing for cat scratching posts.
I’m pretty sure they put that there because it protected the walls from scuffs and damage–especially the kind caused by moving folding tables and chairs all the time–without showing dirt from the hands of grubby kids. It wasn’t in every ward building, but it was definitely pretty common.
As far as where to get the material, conveniently enough a church with $100 billion doesn’t usually install security cameras and a few windows are usually left unlatched from Sunday school kids trying to get fresh air.
I know that one of the church in East Lansing, MI, installed magnetic locks (much more difficult to force open than mechanical locks) after an arson attempt failed due to the carpets meeting federal burn standards.
I don’t think there’s a lot of Mormons in those parts.
Looks like it could be easily transformed into a swinger club. And you could power wash the whole facility after the weekends.
And since it’s Arkansas, that’s fun for the whole family!
This guy has a pineapple tat.
I did not know an upside down pineapple tattoo was apparently a swinger thing.
I’m one of the 10,000!
Here’s my two shots in the dark to explain this monstrosity:
Retired couple buys one of those workshop/huge garage and apartment combos. They decide to turn the workshop into an event space for weddings.
They add a few conveniences for the wedding party, like a couple extra bedrooms to get ready, and a black and red honeymoon suite. The decor is hideous because retired wife is old af and it looks good to her. Retired husband sucks at DIY, like electrical and room layout, but doesn’t let small things like planning get in his way.
Grandson works at a siding company that mainly does B2B installs and often has leftovers. Sometimes he grabs other overage from the project after talking to other tradies, like a banister here and there. Maybe an orphan cabinet base.
Grandson wants to start his own siding business one day so he is happy to practice installs on the wedding rental building.
Alternative: Fundie church does secret child marriages here and the couple that maintains the property is allowed to live there as well. The ugliness of the property is because they’re purely utilitarian and just need a facade of wedding shit because it’s not really about the wedding as much as it’s about keeping it on the down-low.
neighbors are a church
Is the church still active?
If it’s recently defunct or relocating, I’d bet this is the parsonage, assembled on a shoestring budget from the church offering, and using whatever materials they could source as absolutely cheaply as possible.
I’m guessing that either a member of the congregation or family connection of same is a siding guy and was able to get all of this for free or obscenely cheap from somewhere, or was able to get it donated, and rather than waste it or decline what they couldn’t put on the outside, they decided to save money on drywall and paint and put it inside as well.
Same with the furniture, etc. this just reeks of “super tight budget but with excesses in certain odd specific areas because we got it donated”.
Yes! This reads parsonage to me as well! That explains all the office chairs and more bathrooms than bedrooms. It’s likely a breakout space / small groups meeting area
Heeeyyy … I’m sure that’s only a coincidence!
Also where’d you get that map? It’s interesting.
Looks like act data scout.
searched for “randolph ar gis” and actdatascout.com was one of the top results:
https://www.actdatascout.com/RealProperty/Arkansas/Randolph
The website for the Arkansas GIS Office isn’t nearly as helpful, and the Randolph County GIS website can’t find the address at all.
Is ‘siding’ the stuff the walls are made out of? (Sorry, me being a railway enthusiast, ‘siding’ means something completely different).
What material is that?
Yep! 99% sure the siding here is vinyl. That’s the cheapest option for house exteriors so it’s very popular in the US.
If you have the budget, you can also get siding made from aluminum. It’s all meant to mimic the look of real wood planks.
What does siding mean in railway enthusiast vernacular?
Thanks for the explanation. Vinyl seems like an odd choice of material for exterior cladding, where I live it’s normally timber, brick or sometimes steel sheeting (mainly for sheds and garages).
A railway siding is a piece of rail track that is commonly used for storing, loading or unloading trains away from the track where regular traffic runs.
Vinyl is used because it’s pretty weatherproof, easy to work with, and works well in most climates. In certain desert areas in the US, houses can get hot enough for vinyl to melt and sag, but that’s more common when there’s been a fire near the house. Given that the siding is over the vapor barrier, exterior insulation (either extruded polystyrene foam or polyisocyanurate foam) and exterior cladding, it’s mostly there for keeping moisture off the cladding, etc., and for appearance. Wood/timber siding requires more maintenance than vinyl does; you need to paint wood regularly, or else you risk it rotting out. Timber homes also tend to have less insulation, which is becoming more of a problem as climate change speeds up. (We replaced the rotted-out siding on our house with concrete fiberboard siding; it installs and looks like wood siding, but can’t rot.) Masonry homes in general, but especially masonry that’s a load-bearing component (rather than a facing on a timber-framed building) is very expensive compared to vinyl, and maintenance–tuck pointing–can get quite expensive. That said, properly done masonry construction can last centuries.
Vinyl doesn’t rot, so in addition to being inexpensive, it’s popular in areas with high humidity. It does break down over time under constant exposure to UV light, so it doesn’t last forever. Then it’s just a big pile of plastic trash.
You may have heard of PVC (Poly VINYL Chloride I think) cladding - same thing. In the UK it’s predominately used for soffit and fascia (the normally white plastic bits between the top of a house wall and the beginning of the roof tiles where your gutter lives) It’s worth noting that PVC cladding is only to “pretty-up” finished buildings. It has zero construction strength but when fitted properly will stop all water penetration. Give it a wash once a year and it’s as good as new.
I don’t need to fact check, this is it.
For the cult on a budget!
Few windows for outsiders to look in. Many, many cheap tables to eat at.
Maybe just polygamy?
See, this was one of my first thoughts, either some kind of cult-like-thing, or it’s one of those weird multigenerational homes where four+ generations of people lived, and the parents rooms are close enough to eachother that they can hear when babies are being made.
When someone dies, everyone “upgrades” to their parents living space, and the normal-ish bedrooms, aka “nice” bedrooms (compared to the other bedrooms in this horror show), are reserved for the oldest family members.
The question I have, aside from… You know, everything, is… How many ceiling fans do you really need? Jesus.
Actually, when someone dies, they get propped up in the constant funeral home that can be seen starting at picture 47 or 48, and only then can the ritual begin.
That must be why there’s a hearse in the garage.
Is that carpet on a railing?
Carpet on the walls!!
Yes.
Holy hell, this entire interior looks like it could be hosed down, time after time, because it’s made for repeated indoctrination/orgy/murder of cults with easy cleanup. Unbelievable price, though…
That’s what the room upstairs with black walls and red furniture is for.
Big cult compound vibes,
Yeah or else quiver-full/mormon family. Not that there’s really a difference between those and cults.
Polygamy house?
< Sees family pictures >
Oh yeah polygamy house.
“Has your cult outgrown mom’s basement? Do I have the place for you!”
Siding guy: I’ve completed the outside of your house you want anything else done?
Owner: Sure, go nuts.
Run out of siding in the garage where I might have actually made a bit more sense
Me: What’s wrong with siiiiiiideholyshititsinthehouse!!!
EDIT: The carpet did me in. I am dead. R.I.P. me.
It’s also on the ceiling inside.
Holy this is a good one thanks OP
Did anyone notice that the garage interior photos show the misaligned joists about 3/4 of the way back over the truck/jimmy?
I’m not entirely sure they’re actually attached to anything.
Oh, and no code inspector ever saw that wiring.
Edit: oh, and the never ending AC unit chaos. They even vent multiple units into the enclosed garage! That just kind of overheats it and returns the entropy to the house?
Favorite AC unit placement: in the shower with its own little upper tier curtain.
Second favorite cooling feature: the structural box fans in the walls.
Did anyone notice that the garage interior photos show the misaligned joists about 3/4 of the way back over the truck/jimmy?
Thankfully, that’s just strapping to hold the insulation up. The joists run left to right in the photo, not front to back.
“One of a kind”
Thank goodness.
“The possibilities are unlimited!”
