As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.
He kept his two income streams tied together, so that when one ran into trouble it took the other one down with it. He could have just as easily kept the business separate and potentially been able to keep one of the income streams working when the shit hit the fan.
Everything about this brings me joy. I was hoping it would be Cards Against Humanity, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is even better.
I was hoping it would be Knowledge Fight and they’d just subtly transform the content, so as to wean the existing audience into actual facts (e: Dan does a helluvan Alex impression), but the schadenfreude here is very nice.
My absolute favorite part of this is that they also own his supplement business now.
His supplement business was under the same business ownership? That’s preposterously stupid and hilarious.
They might have bid on both.
I’m not an MBA why is this a bad idea?
He kept his two income streams tied together, so that when one ran into trouble it took the other one down with it. He could have just as easily kept the business separate and potentially been able to keep one of the income streams working when the shit hit the fan.
I’m not exactly shocked he was that stupid, but yeah, that made me laugh the hardest.
He’s been very transparent in his attempts to move stuff around, telling his audience exactly what he’s been up to.
I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out if this was just an Onion headline … only to realize it is indeed an Onion headline … this is beautiful
Everything about this brings me joy. I was hoping it would be Cards Against Humanity, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is even better.
I was hoping it would be Knowledge Fight and they’d just subtly transform the content, so as to wean the existing audience into actual facts (e: Dan does a helluvan Alex impression), but the schadenfreude here is very nice.
Active ingredients:
Salt
Isn’t it usually sugar? (With a big helping of snake oil.)