I hate that one of them is interested in dating me and jokes often about me being his future wife. I like him a lot but I’m not good enough for him or worth anyone’s time. I’m scum. I know he’d be sad if I died but I think he’s better off without me. The others usually see me happy and would probably be shocked that I died. I probably shouldn’t care since I wouldn’t be there to see them sad. I don’t know. Even though my life got much better 3 years ago, I don’t see it improving any more than that. It’ll go downhill if I don’t cut my losses soon. I really give up on everything. I’ll be a horrible wife and mother, worse than I already am as a friend and a person. I’m ruined beyond repair, end me
Spite is an excellent short term motivation. If you give up, those guys win. Fuck those guys.
The best way to piss them off is to live the best possible life (whatever that means to you), despite their attempts to make life miserable.
And sometimes those guys happen to be in your head. Fuck those guys in particular, we’re not going to give in to them.