• GreenSkree@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help…

    Standard plan:

    • 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)

    Premium plan:

    • 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
    • Ad Free!

    Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)

    • Mouse acceleration toggle
    • 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
    • Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
    • AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
    • Cloud backup*

    *Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.

    Edit: formatting

    • macniel@feddit.org
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      26 days ago

      Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.

    • GreatAlbatross@feddit.uk
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      26 days ago

      It’s reminding me of the 3rd party utility apps on the Apple Store.

      They seem to have ditched “limited features for free” in favour of “nothing at all until you subscribe, first 7 days free”

    • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      Well, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that’s still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn’t shit, it lasts forever anyways.

      • psud@aussie.zone
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        20 days ago

        I have a mouse that plugs into a COM port as my 286 doesn’t have USB or PS/2. I’m not entirely sure how old it is, but I’d be surprised if it post dates 1990

        Anyway, good luck making a forever mouse when the main cause for replacing mouses is their connector being out dated

    • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      My current led mouse has been going for 10 years with no signs of slowing down, so take that sub and stuff it

    • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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      26 days ago

      You know what, I’d be all behind a subscription mouse so long as it includes periodic hardware upgrades and unlimited warranty replacements no questions asked so long as the subscription is paid.

      Admittedly, I’d be trying to figure out the most interesting ways to actively destroy mice to make them rue the day they thought a mouse subscription was a good idea, but that’s beside the point. Why no, I can’t return the damaged mouse, it’s at the bottom of a hole in the woods no human has been down since the civil war. Just like it was none of your business how I found out that the mouse isn’t resistant to hydrofluoric acid.

  • Synapse@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    It’s all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it’s the new norm.

  • Makeshift
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    26 days ago

    It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.

  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.

  • taiyang@lemmy.world
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    26 days ago

    It’s a good thing that market is so saturated that there’d always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you’re some sort of MMO mouse person.

    That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don’t need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).

  • fox@feddit.org
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    26 days ago

    Living in 2024, I’m not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that’s taxes!

    • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      It’s only partially a joke. I can’t remember who but some company was bragging about their subscription based mouse they had in the works.

      Edit

      • Breadhax0r@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        This reads like an onion article. Who’s constantly buying new mice? And they’re trying to target consumers who “don’t have both a mouse and keyboard” by trying to sell them a $200 mouse…

        I’ve been using the same razer chroma I bought 15 years ago and it’s still perfectly fine.

  • udon@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra “click safety” package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. “Good” and “ethical” advertisers can get in touch with the “business communication” office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because “their ads are okay”

  • rem26_art@fedia.io
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    26 days ago

    idk I’ve been thinking about getting the standard plan. 10k clicks isn’t much, but If i quit Leauge, then I think i can get by. And I can’t stand the ad supported basic tier anymore. I can’t take one more ad for that crypto exchange