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“Dying boy, 15, gets wish: losing virginity Chicago Sun Times ^ | 12/23/01 | BY BENJAMIN ERRETT Posted on 12/23/2001, 6:26:24 AM by Mopp4

A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do. The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends. Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy’s request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital’s child psychologist, who wrote a letter to “Life Matters,” a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy’s identity.

“He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn’t had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor,” the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia’s Daily Telegraph newspaper. “But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have.” Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. “It really polarized them,” he said. “About half said, ‘What’s your problem?’ And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one.”

Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a “Life Matters” panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. “I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law,” he said. “While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it’s important the public has confidence that the law will be followed.” Jack’s psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. “In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call ‘skin hunger,’” he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because “mostly when people touch them, it’s to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt.” Leeder called the diagnosis “improbable.” Judy Lumby, the show’s other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy’s wish ought to be granted. “I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true,” she said. “I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I’d do whatever I could, and I’m sure that you would, too.” National Post”

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  • [email protected]
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    1 day ago

    They might have made or ruined that prostitute’s month. That’s a heavy situation to be introduced to. Glad the kid got some amount of comfort in his final days.

    • untorquer@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      The way the article is written it looks like they focused heavily on consent. Judging by the deep focus on ethics and the professionalism expressed in this decision that presumably means consent for the sex worker as well. They were probably brought in on the discussion for a while before the session to work on boundaries and means.

      None of this reads as a rush job.

      • [email protected]
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        1 day ago

        The way it read, I could only infer details. Without explicit information, which only fools would offer about a crime that they avoided consequences for, there’s quite a bit of wiggle. The prostitute consented to have sex with a sick teen, but they’re not in the best place. If anything, their mental health was likely below average, considering their line of work and its challenges. Teenagers aren’t exactly the best judges, either

        • KinglyWeevil@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          12 hours ago

          I feel like being faced with your own imminent demise definitely gives you some honorary adult points. If anything I want to say this is possibly the best possible case and way for this to occur.

          Kid is dying, knows they’re dying, and is at the age where they’d likely be experimenting sexually with peers if they weren’t constantly in the hospital. They’re adult enough to be aware of and want to engage in one of the quintessential human experiences.

          Age of consent in Australia is 16, they’re 15, and prostitution is somewhere between legal and quasi-legal there. Because the act is with a prostitute, it removes the weirder gross aspects of, “emotionally or physically attracted to someone younger,” and also removes the potentially problematic power dynamic because it’s purely transactional.

        • untorquer@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Are you insinuating coercion? That would be assault. I’m confused about your point, just that we don’t know?

          [Edit: removed misdirecting argument]

          It’s wrong to cast an assumption that sex workers are bound to be in poor mental health or that their mental state should impact their professional judgement.

          The teen had access to a psychologist who also worked through these decisions with them. Yes teens are dumb but this was a decision made with a lot more thought and guidance than most teens have for similar things.

          • [email protected]
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            21 hours ago

            What made you jump to corrcion? That’s a strangely massive leap. No, I’m just pointing out the absence of details and the thorough understanding of the reason for their absence. And within that void sit additional moral questions. Was she strapped for cash? Was she an addict? Was this just another Tuesday? Was she fully aware of the situation and its implications?

            While sex workers range in mental health, like everyone else, they are also a fringe group with unique challenges that tend to create higher than average stress and poorer mental health. Did they backpage it? Was she solicited on the street? Was it a trip to brothel? Each one has a different implication and each one has a unique likelihood of drugs dependence, mental health disorder, extreme poverty, or undesirable living situation that might guide them toward agreeing or disagreeing to commit a felony. None of which was explicitly stated, because offering details of your underage sex crimes is just going to attract undesirable attention. Regardless of how warranted it was, it was still prosecutable and, therefore, best left vague for both the friends and the woman.

            I didn’t realize how rare an understanding of the state of sex workers in the US is among the populace. If you’re in the US, I recommend volunteering with community groups and hospitals to gain some amount of firsthand perspective, if you have the capacity. We can always use the help!