• You will only be as loved as much as you qualify for free money or have some “talent” that generates money.

  • Your family will hate you either way, for being a burden that can’t do anything for itself. 9 times out of 10 they could have taught you how to be independent but assumed you couldn’t do anything because of some stupid disorder label.

  • Wanting to be independent makes you ungrateful for their help. These people are helping, with their own time and money from their own pocket, and you push it away?

  • But being dependent, as mentioned earlier, makes you a burden and everyone just wishes you would just go away already.

  • Mentally disabled people are only ever seen as jokes. You could be a child inexperienced with life or attracted to things for children because you’re literally a growing child, but your family will bully you for being [r word]. So, yeah, liking My Little Pony and Sonic the Hedgehog as a teen is funny, but so is liking anything aimed at teenagers.

  • You will watch everyone else live real lives, and the closest thing you get to a real life is daydreaming about it.

  • Everyone else can be clean and comfortable, but you taking a shower is funny. You wanting fun fashion is funny, you’re supposed to know your place wearing hand me downs and bargain tees while smelling like week old body odor. Trying to be clean is funny.

  • However, being stinky is a problem and everyone in your family wants you gone. They assume a disorder is why you smell bad, and not the fact they literally bullied you into not showering, and trying to hide your period as much as possible. All this while you feel grubby and itchy, and you just need to deal with it because having soap bought for you is just too funny that your parents never buy it.

  • Everyone assumes the mentally disabled are extremely spoiled, and every single issue you have is a petty little non issue. The same people ridiculing you for smelling bad are the same people calling you spoiled for complaining about being unable to shower. You’re lazy and selfish for not using deodorant, but you’re spoiled and entitled for asking for it and never getting any.

  • Everyone in your life assumes your stunted growth is only because of a disorder, and you’ll end up in a group home if you’re not profitable. In the home, you’ll never be comfortable, as all the staff only want to look at their phones.

  • You will smell way worse than you did before, especially after all the accidents you’ve had being unable to use a toilet at home. And wanting to use the toilet makes you spoiled and entitled. You’re gross for soiling yourself, and spoiled for not wanting to soil yourself. You’re gross for showering with water or not at all and spoiled for asking for soap. You are always the problem.

  • The staff ridicule and bully you just like your family did, if not worse. You will never experience real love or the happiness you had when you were three. Oh, right, you’ll most likely be fixated on children’s media you enjoyed when your life peaked in preschool, which everyone in your life will continue to bully you for.

  • You most likely could have grown, worked, and been independent, but were never given the chance. And for those who actually couldn’t, they live a life worse than purgatory until they die.

If these people can’t just live real lives then they deserve actually therapeutic happy lives, full stop. What is the point of living a life where you literally only eat prison food and sleep while watching Cocomelon? Literally, a life where the staff give you drugs to make you sleep and that’s your life. Eating gross food like mashed potatoes that had to be sliced with a fork and knife and meatloaf that smelled like dog vomit and had to be eaten with a spoon, and sleeping. I’ve seen this shit first hand, where decently bright happy children are brutally abused into becoming living corpses whose minds were murdered when they were babies.

There’s no excuse for why this is allowed.

  • LH0ezVTEnglish
    1·
    5 天前

    Let me say it plainly, you have been cheated out of growing up. Parents, teachers, they all have a duty to care for people in their, well, care. That is pretty fucked up.

    I was the weird kid once, I’m still a weird adult, but I was super lucky to have family and teachers that cared. I’ve seen lots of people with lots of mental issues that “turned out fine”, whatever that might be. Your experience is not the norm. I have a hard time imagining what went on in your parents’ heads. Some people are just genuinely bad people, I am sorry that you had to grow up with those.

    You know what sounds good? You seem to move from the self-hate towards hating those who caused you harm. Still not the best state of mind, but a lot better, trust me.

    Just from the random rant you post here, you don’t seem to be too dumb. Coherent sentences and all that. It’s a low bar, I know, but I’m not making fun of you, there are millions of people around you who would not clear it. Trust me, there are people that would consider stacking the shelves at the supermarket an intellectual challenge.

    So, yeah. The past is only going to get you so far. You’re still here, for whatever reason you haven’t jumped off a bridge yet. This is going to sound like “don’t be sad, lol”. But you’re (probably) young, seem to be physically mostly ok, and you’re not dumb. Maybe, every now and then, spend some time thinking about what to do with that. They say the best revenge is a life well lived.