“Canadians may have gone in for wokeness in recent years, it is true, but there is the matter of their bloody-minded DNA. It was not that long ago that they harvested baby seals—the ones with the big, sad, adorable brown eyes—with short iron clubs. They love hockey, a sport that would have pleased the emperors and blood-crazed plebeians and patricians of ancient Rome if they could only have figured out how to build an ice rink in the Colosseum.” 😅

  • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    15 hours ago

    Regardless of bloody dna or not, as an American, why the fuck would anybody want to invade Canada?

    To me, it (yes I’m unfortunately very aware of current American politics and the rise of fascism) sounds the same as “let’s invade Mexico” or “let’s invade Britain”. Like, bruh, if the us formally invades anybody rn, the country will shut down like a toddler that you’re trying to make skip naptime. We’re on the fucking brink of a civil war, the only things from us that you should be considering is how to integrate cascadia into your country and how to arm us against that ratshit for brains, trump and his billionaire autistic nazi musketeer, musk.

    • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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      10 hours ago

      We’re on the fucking brink of a civil war

      That’s the key point: they want to provide a common enemy so it’s America vs “whoever” instead of the class war that should be happening.

  • Devanismyname@lemmy.ca
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    15 hours ago

    I like the rhetoric, but the reality is we don’t stand a fucking chance. It’ll end up turning into an insurgency, not a stand up fight. Our military will crumble instantly, it’ll be an occupation, and we’ll be the next taliban.

    • rozcakj@lemmy.ca
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      7 hours ago

      True - that’s what our CAF should be planning for. Take the Swiss model and encourage serving members to take their equipment home, including secure communications devices. Then plan for insurgency tactics, training and organizing volunteers and conducting raids and attacks deep into our “glorious, the ‘greatest’” new homeland…

    • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
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      15 hours ago

      We’d definitely lose on our own, but we’re part of NATO. If the US invades Canada, every other NATO member would come to our defense.

      • Devanismyname@lemmy.ca
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        12 hours ago

        Bit different in this scenario. Not only would the idea of fighting the most powerful military on earth cause hesitation, but they’d be doing it from across the ocean where the us would no doubt have their navy stationed with nuclear submarines, destroyers, and air craft carriers. That, and if Russia is going to become more aggressive, which Trump is obviously empowering him to do, Europe needs to worry about itself. We are right next to them as well meaning they would be able to take us with almost no trouble. So nato would now have to conquer the us not just defend against it. Also, nato has never been tested in a situation like this. We don’t know if the alliance would just fall apart or something. As a Canadian, I’m not really counting on them too much since the idea of them actually successfully protecting us seems completely out to lunch. I’m thinking nato falls apart once the us leaves it and is replaced by a more European oriented military alliance.

        • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
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          11 hours ago

          I don’t like unrealistic optimism, but I think there are several reasons to be optimistic. TL;DR: enough US citizens would revolt to make it a winnable war against them, and Trump would back down first.

          Not only would the idea of fighting the most powerful military on earth cause hesitation, but they’d be doing it from across the ocean where the us would no doubt have their navy stationed with nuclear submarines, destroyers, and air craft carriers.

          That’s if everyone in the US military complies with the order, and I think a lot of people would refuse. I also think a lot of citizens would start fighting their own military. It only takes 3.5% of people fighting from within an institution to destabilize the whole thing.

          I’ve continually been surprised at what MAGAs are willing to believe (and then stop believing) and I’m sure that a lot them would buy into the new narrative, but it would be such a blatant and self-destructive abuse of power that a non-insignificant number of them would have to wake up. There are also so many individual actors in right-wing media that a few of them are bound to speak out before they get shut down. Just imagine if someone like Tucker Carlson did a 5 minute address saying “I’ve supported everything Trump does but this crosses the line.”

          if Russia is going to become more aggressive, which Trump is obviously empowering him to do, Europe needs to worry about itself.

          Other countries have a self-interest in keeping foreign dictators in check; while it’s true that fighting the US would make other NATO members more vulnerable to an attack from Russia, the alternative of letting Trump literally go insane with power would be more likely to end in a nuclear apocalypse.

          We are right next to them as well meaning they would be able to take us with almost no trouble. So nato would now have to conquer the us not just defend against it.

          If the US decides to Blitzkrieg us, yes–at first. As someone who lives within a 1h drive of the US border, I’d be fucked, but the US wouldn’t be able to keep that territory; see all the above points. I also think Trump would start a military war in the same way that he started an economic war: announce that he’s going to do it, get an unexpectedly strong announced retaliation from Canada and blowback from within his party, delay the implementation, and finally reduce the scope. During that time Canada and NATO would be able to prepare.

          • Devanismyname@lemmy.ca
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            9 hours ago

            I mean all of this is definitely reason to be optimistic. Good perspective to have. Hopefully it’s your version and not mine.

      • littlebrother@lemm.ee
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        8 hours ago

        Trump wants out of nato… and our allies know this, and they are distancing themselves already.

        If we go to any war, we go alone… nobody is coming to our aid.

        And hegseth force retired 17000 troops for being trans. Let me tell you Canadian brothers and sisters, less than 1% of our current population is eligible to enlist in the military, due to obesity, medical history, mental health.

        We can’t meet our recruitment goals, retention sucks. Oh but hegseth is coming now for those still in by reviewing grooming and fitness standards. That will probably get rid of 45% of the forces…

        Oh yeah let’s invade our neighbors.

        We will not be a country by the end of this administration.

  • averyrandomusername@lemmy.ca
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    22 hours ago

    There are way too many people talking about hypotheticals and trying to do “logical” thinking why attacking allies is a bad idea.

    The powers in the USA are NOT LOGICAL. They are cutting social systems, they are tanking their stock market, causing irreparable harm to their economy, and military industrial system.

    Talking about it like its “logical”, and coming from the USA where their media, the people that are supposed to know what’s going on and communicating it to the USA public is idiotic. They don’t even have the common curtesy to make sure that they have the corret titles and honorifics when talking to our leaders.

    Governor Carney Prime Minster Ford Prime Minsiter Jolie

    Fuck them all.

    • pika@lemmy.ca
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      17 hours ago

      This is what is so terrifying and makes this very real. They don’t care about logic, at least not what we think as logic.

      However, I would argue that it is fairly logical overall for the United States to do this. I had a feeling it would happen eventually due to two main factors:

      • Climate change. They may deny it, but it’s a tactic to prevent the public from realizing this: the USA, along with many other countries, will not be able to run efficiently or even at all very soon because of the impacts from climate change. It is too costly to manage and management will not prevent the worst of it anyways. They will not have enough resources to sustain their population. Canada is incredibly resource dense and perhaps one of the better countries to live during the climate changes predicted. Although, on this note, New Zealand is probably poised better. I wonder if they aren’t targeting it because they have all their bunkers there already anyways, or if it’s on their list for the future. There’s also all of the new resources and trade route through the Arctic. I could go on but this point deserves a post of its own to lay out the full details.
      • A last “hurrah”, because they know the climate is changing at a rapid pace and there won’t be other chances to live out their dictator dreams. They want to be kings of the world, and this is likely humanity’s last chance to hold such a title. This is why they aren’t playing around with trying to make fair trade deals instead of just taking over. It’s not as fun. And trade deals are likely not as secure for them too, since, as we have seen, trade deals ultimately don’t mean shit.

      When viewed through this lens, their potential plans don’t really sound so crazy.

      • Dearche@lemmy.ca
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        16 hours ago

        I agree with the lack of logic, as Trump yesterday announced wartime powers, using the pretense of being at war with gangs to justify the order.

        That said, I don’t see any invasion being based upon any real need, even from an economic level. In fact, such an act will be extremely counterproductive and will harm not only their general economy, but the bottom line of many of their top businesses. Not to mention that any project to extract Canadian resources that aren’t already abundant in the US will take at least a half decade to even start producing, with profits only emerging two decades after any annexation at best.

        And that presumes that any extraction is done quickly and smoothly. Frankly speaking, the issue is that to extract most things at scale, everything needs to be built up from the ground level, including roads.

        That doesn’t even start with the liklihood of constant protests and vandalism, including some crazies that try to shoot out tires and critical equipment.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    Above all…what’s the point? No one in their right mind wants to live there except for Canadians! Its fucking cold! Its amazing anything happens there at all. Regardless, it’s their country and Trump is one full blown grade A dumbass. I like Canadians!

    • littlebrother@lemm.ee
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      8 hours ago

      I don’t think you realize… the American deep south and southwest are rapidly becoming uninhabitable.

      Canada is primed to be a destination once torontos climate becomes more like missouris.

      I wish I was kidding.

      • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Has Been doing that for hundreds of years. But that’s a problem for prehistoric people. Modern tech can fix all that…Lemmy see…the boring compan…ah shit. Nevermind!

    • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
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      15 hours ago

      If the climate keeps getting warmer then huge parts of Canada will become temperate and farm-able, while places that are currently temperate will become too hot to live in or farm.

    • Slam_Eye@lemmy.ca
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      20 hours ago

      Im west coast. We had 2 days of snow this year about 4 inch deep. Ive lived east coast and its the same as maryland weather. Its no more cold than what you guys get.

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        I live in San Diego. You are quite a bit colder than what we get. You can keep your snow, if I want to go snowboarding, I have an ocean less than a mile away, and there’s always the mountains an hour and a half drive to the east.

        Surfing and snowboarding are remarkably similar activities.

  • Darkcoffee
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    1 day ago

    No Canada didn’t go for wokeness, get your head out of your ass.

    • kent_eh@lemmy.ca
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      16 hours ago

      As if being “woke” is a bad thing anyway.

      Better than sleepwalking into fascism.

    • NotSteve_@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      At this point even the pro-Canada American takes are pissing me off honestly

      Edit:

      Canada is a much more left-wing country than the United States, and absorbing it could well revive the political fortunes of progressives

      I’m also getting really fucking sick of this talking point. We’re not going to vote in American elections because we’re not going to be American and I don’t even want to hear any thought exercises on the subject

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        23 hours ago

        As if they would give us senators and equal voting rights. The US is now a hostile rogue nation on par with the DPRK and Venezuela as far as I’m concerned.

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    The last time Americans fucked with Canada… the Whitehouse and DC were burned to the ground.

    • Slam_Eye@lemmy.ca
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      20 hours ago

      That was the british army. Its not correct to say canada did that.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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        19 hours ago

        We (Americans) also basically failed at nearly every single engagement that was an attempted incursion into British/Canadian territory or attack on a British fort/settlement west of the US proper, they were pretty much all either repulsed, or only initially successful for a short amount of time and then driven out.

        I could be wrong, but I am willing to bet that many of those soldiers opposing the Americans involved in initial American incursions into Canada were British soldiers who lived in Canada, and/or were Native/First Nations allies of the British, and are thus proto-Canadians, unlike the Royal Navy and Marines who showed up in force within about a year, and were then withdrawn after the US basically sued for peace.

        I agree that it’s an oversimplification to view the entire war as just US vs a nascent Canada, but I also think it’s an oversimplification to view the entire war as the US vs the UK.

        Also I didn’t state that Canadians burned down DC. I said that the last time the US fucked with Canada, the result was our capitol being burned down.

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        Sure, but The Geneva Convention is quite literally a list of things that The Canadians did in WWI that we collectively agreed was going a bit too far for war.

    • yeehaw@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      True but a lot has changed in that time and all out warfare would not be good for us.

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      1 day ago

      Remember kids, it’s not a war crime the first time. Gonna have to go back to being creative.

      • chuck@lemmy.ca
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        Hmm liking all pows being forced to listen to the war of 1812 by three trolls in a baggie in a continuous loop with no rest as a start. But this is just an appetizer of an idea feel free to add to the menu

    • nyan@lemmy.cafe
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      22 hours ago

      No, no, far more useful to exercise our right to arm bears. Would you charge at a grizzly with a machine gun?

      • cyphear@lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        Ya see, what you do is; put the baby meese along the border, but don’t tell people that their mamas are nearby. The rest writes itself. Most Americans have no idea how aggressive an animal with antlers the size of VW bugs can be.