• threeduck@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    14 hours ago

    Men want women like this because it eases their insecurities.

    Insecure men see women as a rare commodity (because they’re not confident in their abilities with women), and a clingy jealous gf is (in theory) less likely to leave them.

    It’s another reason why men want younger women, they’re more likely to look up to you than an equal, easier to ensure the commodity is secure.

  • PieMePlenty@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    14 hours ago

    There was a time in my life when I would agree but not anymore. Today, the clinginess is very off putting. A self respecting, independent woman is gold.

  • trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    1 day ago

    Men will be like “ohh I want clingy obsessive gf” until she spends 2 hours ugly crying because she thought about you leaving her too hard.

  • quetzaldilla@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    1 day ago

    I was just talking with my sister recently about our life-long strong feelings of rejection.

    We both have ADHD and we’re medicated, but we didn’t start treatment until late into our lives (I was 33 when I first got diagnosed).

    We speculate that because we struggle with executive dysfunction, we end up trapped in cycles of shame with the people in our lives. It’s really hard to love someone with severe ADHD or depression because any little thing can set back progress.

    My sister and I both get easily overwhelmed by choices, options, priorities, tasking-- even just thinking is exhausting.

    Because each brain is unique, the way that ADHD impacts you is different from one person to another, but for me it manifests into all of my emotions hitting me all at the same time, no matter what emotion makes the most sense. It’s horrible!

    Just being awake exhausted me until I started taking medication and going to cognitive behavioral therapy-- and it ain’t cheap, let me tell you.

    Before treatment, my family and friends would try their best but one bad interaction could easily send me into a spiral of rejection and self-neglect. I feel more in control nowadays but it’s always a work in progress.

    I just tell myself to try to do a little bit better every day, because you have to have a lot of compassion for yourself and others around you.

    It’s hard to ask others to love you when you don’t have a mental disability, it’s even harder when you do have one.

    Please try to be compassionate towards any people you know who may be trapped in this cycle.

    And if you are trapped in it, please know that healing begins with you loving and taking care of yourself, even if you can only manage a tiny little bit each day.

  • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    2 days ago

    We have an urge to be wanted, to be needed, to be relied upon. Is it a cultural lens through which we see this issue or do women not feel the same?

    • konidia
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      edit-2
      1 day ago

      But we typically have that urge only from those we find attractive (unless it’s a child or pet).

      • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        edit-2
        1 day ago

        If we’re still speaking on the topic of men, then you would be surprised to find out otherwise. Certainly attractiveness makes it more compelling, but even older male peers relying on you for help can have a positive effect on us. Benjamin Franklin once wrote about improving his relationship with a political opposition and rival by asking them, with humility, to lend him a recommended book. When we help our elders, it makes us feel proud and a sense of filial piety. People only abandon their lessers due to environmental stress or greed.

        • konidia
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 day ago

          Ah apology, I was speaking more in the context of clingy girlfriend or boyfriend. Not the general desire to be dependable.