sh.itjust.works
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
SSTF@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

the future is now, old man

lemmy.world

message-square
50
link
fedilink
570

the future is now, old man

lemmy.world

SSTF@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
message-square
50
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • Currens_felis@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    74
    ·
    2 years ago

    Where do I become a holy fool?

    • realitista@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      38
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      2 years ago

      Your local church

    • Deadeyegai@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      2 years ago

      Right? Like does it come with good benefits and a 401k match too? I mean I’m already sold but the highwayman job is quite lacking in that space. Asking for a friend

      • photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        19
        ·
        2 years ago

        Have you seen those televangelists? They make fucking bank.

  • jayemar@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    67
    ·
    2 years ago

    I didn’t realize train robber was still an option

    • Rakonat@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      2 years ago

      An entire life of shennigans and mischief wasted, I COULDA ROBBED TRAINS?!

      • SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        32
        ·
        2 years ago

        Also coulda been robbing banks with an avocado, but like me you’ve been mooching around like a goddamn chump…

        • Emanuel@lemmy.eco.br
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          9
          ·
          2 years ago

          “All warfare is based […]”

          • Rostby@lemmy.fmhy.net
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            2 years ago

            “Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough”

    • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      2 years ago

      Why do you think public transportation is popular with the youth?

    • redballooon@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 years ago

      Well the goods have become larger and heavier, you’ll probably need to kidnap the train before you can rob it.

      • figaro@lemdro.id
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 years ago

        I suppose I could utilize a larger train to kidnap the train

    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 years ago

      It was never NOT an option.

      We do still have trains, don’t we?

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    50
    ·
    2 years ago

    “I wanna be TikTok when I grow up.”

    “You want to make content for TikTok?”

    “No! I want to be the app!”

    • Bread
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      20
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      It sounds stupid, but kids are stupid. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a police car. Not a cop, the car. Sometimes dreams need to stay dreams.

      • jarfil@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 years ago

        Well, have you ever seen a police car break any laws? Your dream was great, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

        • Bread
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          2 years ago

          I appreciate it, but I changed course and switched to IT. I grew up to be a server rack now and it has been great!

      • SmokeyDope@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        Never give up on your dream, it might just be possible with enough cybernetics and plastic surgery! The future is now!

        • Bread
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          2 years ago

          I can’t remember, but do the cars eat at any point? What do they eat?

    • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      2 years ago

      As a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball.

    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      2 years ago

      I want to be a firetruck

      • pedro@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        2 years ago

        I’m Idaho

    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 years ago

      “I want children to be addicted to touching my body with their grubby little hands”

      • Preciseid@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        2 years ago

        A few Catholic priests, salivating, enters the chat.

  • capy_bara@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    49
    ·
    2 years ago

    Up yours, woke moralists! We’ll see who cancels who

    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 years ago

      Cancellation incoming

    • SmokeyDope@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      related

  • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    47
    ·
    2 years ago

    Just the stuff thats visible here is already more than 100% lol

    • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      45
      ·
      2 years ago

      Which is why you don’t see “mathematician” on the list.

    • rockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      27
      ·
      2 years ago

      Maybe some kids want multiple jobs

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        2 years ago

        No one wants two jobs, but the kids these days know they’ll need it

        • pedro@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          2 years ago

          Many kids would like to be a teacher on Monday, an astronaut on Tuesday, a veterinarian on Wednesday, …

          But I guess here the demographic is a little older than my example so it might not apply

  • pizzahoe@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    36
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 years ago

    Woke moralist. The destroyer of Jordan Peterson.

    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      2 years ago

      Pretty sure that was the benzos

      • Fedizen@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        Woke Moralists and Benzos handshake meme: Destroying Jordan Bitchass Peterson

  • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Hey fellow kids! Who wants to be a woke moralist, amirite?

    (e: I had a son, so I do believe the 11.9% train robber stat, tho)

    • devdad@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      21
      ·
      2 years ago

      Had? I hope you’re ok.

      • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        2 years ago

        Oh no, he’s fine. Poor choice of words; he’s all grown up now is all.

  • ZILtoid1991@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    2 years ago

    I’m a wojak artist.

    • capy_bara@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 years ago

      Prove it

      • ZILtoid1991@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        2 years ago

        Here’s a creation of mine.

        • troglodytis@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          2 years ago

          Woah

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      2 years ago

      What the fuck is wojak?

      • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        2 years ago

        Here are some examples:

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          2 years ago

          I see. I never really got that thing. I guess I’m too old.

  • PatFusty@lemm.eeBanned from community
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    2 years ago

    Real human bean

  • virku@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    2 years ago

    I guess my toddlers aren’t main stream then. One wants to be a policefiremantruck and the other a snail tamer.

    • TurboWafflz@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 years ago

      Snail tamer sounds like an amazing job

      • Thranduil@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 years ago

        Its very dangerous. A feral snail can be more deadly than the monthy python rabbit. The tend to be cool tho

  • OpenHammer6677@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    2 years ago

    Dang those kids can spell Beaureaoucrat

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 4.88K users / day
  • 9.32K users / week
  • 15.6K users / month
  • 31.4K users / 6 months
  • 1.42K local subscribers
  • 31.4K subscribers
  • 14.6K Posts
  • 334K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
  • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org