I know it sounds trite and a good candidate for thanksimcured, but essentially, yes. It is not reality that is causing your anxiety but your perception of it, and you have some degree of control over that.
One thing that can tangibly help is to lay out the consequences of inaction. Just knowing the worst case (among likely outcomes) can help reduce anxiety substantially. Then assess how much control you have in addressing the problem and getting a better outcome, and how much effort that will cost you vs the consequences.
A lot of anxiety comes from the unknown. We may not be able to completely unmask the unknown, but we can often estimate the consequences. For example:
climate change
worst case: weather patterns will get worse, and life in 50-ish years may totally suck
options to mitigate problems: move, make more money to afford more mitigations
control over preventing the problems: vote, reduce own consumption (minimal impact)
job loss
worst case: can’t afford rent or food, so homelessness possible
options to mitigate problems: expand circle of friends (more couches to surf), save up cash, get a side gig or two to fall back on
control over preventing the problem: work for a stable company, improve skills
break up w/ SO
worst case: heartbreak, possible depression, ugly breakup could also hurt financially
options to mitigate problems: separate expenses, keep contact w/ friends, practice healthy behaviors (exercise, engaging hobbies, etc)
control over preventing the problem - open dialogue, go on regular dates w/ SO, ask friends for warning signs
And so on. If you can identify the worst case scenarios and your options, it’s a lot easier to manage anxiety. Doing that can be uncomfortable, but it’s basically what a therapist will do with you, so it’s a great skill to learn.
This is a great technique, usually referred to as negative visualisation. Epictetus put it like this:
Hold death and exile and all that seems dreadful before your eyes every day, but most of all death: and you will never think of anything bad or desire anything too much.
Quite the opposite. It lets you forget the unimportant things and the constant realization that your time on this earth is finite will drive you to live life to the fullest.
I don’t do it on purpose but I find myself comparing my problems to death fairly regularly and death doesn’t always seem much worse. The fact that my time is limited and I have to spend so much of it just making the money I need to survive doesn’t help.
I don’t have all the answers, and if budget allows it maybe you should talk to someone about that. That said there were times where waking up disappointed me and the following has changed me. There is another stoic attitude that says something like suppose you have died and you find yourself at the pearly gates. Peter decides you’re not done yet and he’s sent you back. That’s you today. The rest of your days are just gravy.
Love this. Could I actually copy this to wtdiycat.vercel.app (work in progress) with attribution to your username and a link to this comment? Not sure where exactly I’d put it yet though. Edit: probably the “Check the Facts” skill, I always sucked at that one and I think that’s why this explanation really struck me as helpful.
Same. I got rid of anxious thoughts because I had more important stuff to deal with. When there is nothing that you need to do, this simultaneously means that you need to do everything. Of course deciding to drop the things you (and the rest of the world) deem beneficial is hard, but that’s what you have to do.
“Have you tried not thinking about it or, instead, choosing to think of it as a good thing, instead of a bad one? Also, I hate irony and existentialism!”
Specifically, you should stop trying to make major changes to the world and society, so as to protect the established order of wealth and power.
I mean, its a perfectly good place to start and a great outlook, if you’re slave or a dirt poor peasant living during the slow collapse of the Roman empire, where your crops have failed, your children are all dying from the water you drink and you’ve just been raised by the 5th rampaging warlord this year.
There are other schools of thought that have carried on from this which have been refined and improved on. However, there’s a certain part of the political and online sphere who only like philosophy that developed during a time when slavery was normalised, for some reason or another. Cant think why that might be…
I mean, if I was a sociopathic wealth devouring monster, intent on subjugating everyone in the world, I’d have the population taught some type of Christian stoicism mash up.
Theres a reason that, when they teach philosophy to adults, they start with the post enlightenment schools of thought and its not because all the ones before it were just “too good.”
I suppose the initial realization that you have a problem can cause you to worry, or the inverse, you may worry that something may become a problem. Once this emotion has had its effect and you have identified whether it’s a problem you can fix (and if so, you’ve made a plan to execute to the best of your ability), anxiety ceases to have any utility.
There is nothing any one person can do on an individual basis to make the candidate they want to win actually succeed, especially if the aristocratic establishment is dead set on stopping them with all their resources, power, connections, and influence.
But what will make me feel better is if the candidate I despise the most loses. And voting for their biggest challenger out of spite, although incapable of amendong the above problem, can at least perform the singular at least satisfying consolation function of scratching an itch.
They want us to support the lesser of two evils;
I want us to punish the greater of two evils.
We are not the same.
The lesser evil must, unfortunately, wait until the greater evil is dealt with. Then we can kill it too.
Stoics recognize problems in two categories, problems you can fix and problems you can’t. In neither case anxiety adds anything to the solution.
I should stop choosing to be anxious.
I know it sounds trite and a good candidate for thanksimcured, but essentially, yes. It is not reality that is causing your anxiety but your perception of it, and you have some degree of control over that.
One thing that can tangibly help is to lay out the consequences of inaction. Just knowing the worst case (among likely outcomes) can help reduce anxiety substantially. Then assess how much control you have in addressing the problem and getting a better outcome, and how much effort that will cost you vs the consequences.
A lot of anxiety comes from the unknown. We may not be able to completely unmask the unknown, but we can often estimate the consequences. For example:
And so on. If you can identify the worst case scenarios and your options, it’s a lot easier to manage anxiety. Doing that can be uncomfortable, but it’s basically what a therapist will do with you, so it’s a great skill to learn.
This is a great technique, usually referred to as negative visualisation. Epictetus put it like this:
Hold death and exile and all that seems dreadful before your eyes every day, but most of all death: and you will never think of anything bad or desire anything too much.
Memento mori.
Sounds like a good way to develop a suicidal ideation problem.
Quite the opposite. It lets you forget the unimportant things and the constant realization that your time on this earth is finite will drive you to live life to the fullest.
I don’t do it on purpose but I find myself comparing my problems to death fairly regularly and death doesn’t always seem much worse. The fact that my time is limited and I have to spend so much of it just making the money I need to survive doesn’t help.
I don’t have all the answers, and if budget allows it maybe you should talk to someone about that. That said there were times where waking up disappointed me and the following has changed me. There is another stoic attitude that says something like suppose you have died and you find yourself at the pearly gates. Peter decides you’re not done yet and he’s sent you back. That’s you today. The rest of your days are just gravy.
Love this. Could I actually copy this to wtdiycat.vercel.app (work in progress) with attribution to your username and a link to this comment? Not sure where exactly I’d put it yet though. Edit: probably the “Check the Facts” skill, I always sucked at that one and I think that’s why this explanation really struck me as helpful.
Sure, knock yourself out. :)
Same. I got rid of anxious thoughts because I had more important stuff to deal with. When there is nothing that you need to do, this simultaneously means that you need to do everything. Of course deciding to drop the things you (and the rest of the world) deem beneficial is hard, but that’s what you have to do.
“Have you tried not thinking about it or, instead, choosing to think of it as a good thing, instead of a bad one? Also, I hate irony and existentialism!”
Specifically, you should stop trying to make major changes to the world and society, so as to protect the established order of wealth and power.
I mean, its a perfectly good place to start and a great outlook, if you’re slave or a dirt poor peasant living during the slow collapse of the Roman empire, where your crops have failed, your children are all dying from the water you drink and you’ve just been raised by the 5th rampaging warlord this year.
There are other schools of thought that have carried on from this which have been refined and improved on. However, there’s a certain part of the political and online sphere who only like philosophy that developed during a time when slavery was normalised, for some reason or another. Cant think why that might be…
I mean, if I was a sociopathic wealth devouring monster, intent on subjugating everyone in the world, I’d have the population taught some type of Christian stoicism mash up.
Theres a reason that, when they teach philosophy to adults, they start with the post enlightenment schools of thought and its not because all the ones before it were just “too good.”
https://www.mathsisfun.com/geometry/circle-theorems.html
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
What about problems I can fix but only if I worry enough about them
I suppose the initial realization that you have a problem can cause you to worry, or the inverse, you may worry that something may become a problem. Once this emotion has had its effect and you have identified whether it’s a problem you can fix (and if so, you’ve made a plan to execute to the best of your ability), anxiety ceases to have any utility.
Now explain that to my anxiety.
I can’t. It’s up to you to explain it to your anxiety. 💪🏻
How I arrived upon my stance regarding elections.
There is nothing any one person can do on an individual basis to make the candidate they want to win actually succeed, especially if the aristocratic establishment is dead set on stopping them with all their resources, power, connections, and influence.
But what will make me feel better is if the candidate I despise the most loses. And voting for their biggest challenger out of spite, although incapable of amendong the above problem, can at least perform the singular at least satisfying consolation function of scratching an itch.
They want us to support the lesser of two evils;
I want us to punish the greater of two evils.
We are not the same.
The lesser evil must, unfortunately, wait until the greater evil is dealt with. Then we can kill it too.
Business before pleasure.
You area a gentleperson and a scholar!
gentleperson is a gross fucking word
Agreed, but people are pretty gross all round
a gentry and a landowner