TIL Satan is a genie.
Also, in these games, the folks going for “more wishes” are shooting low. The only wish you need, which also defeats the monkey’s paw, is “grant me omnipotence.”
But: this is Satan we’re talking about. The Deciever, The Traitor. Not only is this a monkey-paw situation, but a Christian Satan is going to actively try to decieve you.
I don’t think I’d even trust his answer about whether there’s a cost, so I’d pass on the winning lotto numbers, too.
I’d say, “no thanks” and immediately convert to Catholicism, start going to church, and lead a clean life from here on out. If the orthodox Jews are right, I’m fucked anyway since my mother isn’t a Jew, so Christianity is the best bet.
This is the only true safe wish or questions. Nothing is pressing enough to ask just to get purposefully deceived and probably in such a way as to cause harm
I thought if Judaism is correct gentiles can avoid Gehennom (purgatory) by following the 7 noahide laws?
And here I thought the Jewish faith didn’t have an afterlife?
So much conflicting information in this religion thing. I think I’ll just avoid it all together.
Dunno. I haven’t studied it; all my info comes from informal conversations with a jewish friend of mine, a long time ago. I could also be misremembering what he said.
It’s something I would look into, if faced with confirmation of a judao-christian afterlife, especially if I could concurrently cover multiple bases. I’d look at Islam, as well; could be they’re not mutually exclusive. I dread to think of how limited my diet would become… but faced with an ensured eternity in hell ¯\(ツ)/¯
What is the simplest proof that P=NP?
Waht is the simplest complete unified model of physics?
How do I make you grant me unlimited wishes?
Monkey’s paw moment:
Simply wish for unlimited wishesWish granted! Bam, you can now wish anything, as many times as you want, and it won’t be any different!
Except you missed the point.
They asked for the instruction as their third wish. They don’t have any wishes left to wish for more.
Only the post is about asking questions to the devil, not asking for wishes. Which would make no difference in the end, you can make all the wishes you want, there was never anything about making any of them coming true.
Maybe add “that can be understood by most experts in the relevant field of study living today” to those questions, cause you might get something incomprehensible in the response.
My first thought for the first one is that a malicious devil will just reply that n=1.
“Satan has stopped responding. Would you like to force close?”
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What’s the catch?
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So you’ll just answer ANY three questions I have truthfully?
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Wait… Did those first two count?
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Are you the devil?
Really?
You?
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What two questions could I ask you that would provide me with the best possible benefit in a way I would be happy with
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(And 3) those questions
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Can I really ask 3 whole questions? Oh … two now? Fuck!! goddam. Ok, ummm… gotta be something real important, something impactful… Should I invest in Tesla?
I should have just asked who has the hottest content on OnlyFans. At least I would have got something for my money.
Will you please fuck off and take the Trump voters with you?
Lotto Numbers, Lotto Numbers, and, is God a jerk?
I feel like listening to the devil bitch about God for a few hours would be therapeutic.
Why is your father such a childish fuckwit?
Why does he let you act equally/more powerful?
Can I have an Audi RS6 Avant with unlimited fuel and tyres?
I feel like the answer to the third question would be the pendantic, “you sure can!” answer.
Not sure what devil means here, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter which kind of devil it is exactly. It’s probably going to be very unhelpful or actively malicious on concrete or practical stuff anyway.
Would just ask stuff about them. How’d they come to be? Are there more of you? Are you limited to this planet, or does your influence extend beyond? Stuff like that.
- is squirt pee?
- is squirt pee?
- is squirt pee?
At your core you know the answer to that question, and you are ok with it.
“No thank you, you’re smarter than I am and don’t have my best interests in mind.”
I’d ask why at least.
- Why are you offering this?
- Yo what’s the deal with UFOs?
- Preferred hot dog recipe
Since it’s impossible to determine whether any given answer is true or not, the logical course of action is to only ask question with observably objective answers. Examples:
- What are the next lottery numbers?
- Will it rain tomorrow?
- Where was the exact location of Troy during the Greek war?
Things like that.
- 1 67 8 10 5 (doesn’t specify where)
- Yes (doesn’t specify where)
- Gives you exact coordinates to a town called Troy in the US that existed during the Greek civil war of the 1950s
Can’t help you with the first two, but the third is Wilusa, and the problem is more with the when than where.
Homer fucked up and combined the Mycenaean conquest of Anatolia in the 14th century BCE (the catalog of ships and Helen parts) with the sea peoples retaking the city from the Hittites in the early 12th century BCE after the Hittites took it (presumably in their pursuit of Piyama-Radu) and Tudhaliya IV re-installed their own loyal representative in the late 13th century.
This ended up completely messing up Greek timelines, btw, with them thinking the Argonauts (the loose tales of the sea peoples period) was before the Trojan War (it straddled the 12th century capture of Troy but was well after the Mycenaeans), or how Perseus is his own grandfather depending on the lineage being followed.
As is, the post doesn’t specify whether the devil will answer truthfully or not. So, I suppose it’s safe to say he’ll just be a dick
- Which place in hell would my soul end up if I died right now?
- Can I take your place after I die?
- Which religion is your favorite?
