Get a bidet attachment for your toilet. It will change your life.
Lemmy has a serious fiber deficiency. Y’all keep relating to bowel trouble, at first I’d make jokes about it but the actual shitposting keeps coming, now I’m just concerned.
It all goes back to that guy that didn’t poop for three days. Lemmy took it as a challenge.
Challenge? That’s literally normal for me
The chronically online do not traffic the vegetable section apparently
That’s really funny :D
It was back on reddit too. For some reason taking off all your clothes before taking a shit is relatable to a large part of of the interent. It’s bizzare.
Also when poop knocks at the door, ANSWER! Don’t keep putting it off if at all humanly possible. The longer poop sits in your colon, the drier it gets and the harder it will be to move later.
And the bidet? With the right pressure it can help knock loose those last little nuggies that you weren’t able to get enough oomph behind to dislodge.
Y’all built different
Playing asteroids! Pew pew!
If you have pressure wash your anus to blast the shit loose, maybe you’ve got some other problem.
I used a bidet in Thailand and water blew up my ass so hard that it brushed my teeth.
Absolutely never again.
That’s called that flossing, duh. What did you think water picks were?
The same thing happened to me in Spain. It wasn’t until I used a friends bidet attachment that I was convinced. It was much easier to control.
efficient . just take a dump for deep cleaning.
And if people can’t or don’t want to immediately install such an attachment, because they have no way of trying out a bidet, you can also buy a travel bidet online, which basically looks like a bottle, and they’re representative of the real thing, albeit not as comfortable, of course.
Took me a few days to figure out how to best sploosh myself with that bottle, but I’ve preferred it since then, even though I still don’t have an attachment.
Backpacker Bidet. Uses any old water bottle.
lots of people just use a bucket
This… this… confuses me, so much.
What backpacker carries a bucket? And is the bucket a bidet? With water? From where? And why am I picturing a bucket-toilet you dunk your ass in?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabo_(hygiene)
just one example every country has one
Ohhhh so not a bidet, but a vessel for storing water to clean with. Very different things, but I learned something new today. Neat.
Or, if you’re poor, an alternative is to take a shower. That or a sink as a last resort.
Cold water will shrink your balls 😂
No.
Fuck bidets and fuck all of you lairs that keep promoting them.
Compelling argument. You’ve convinced me.
It’s not my place to make an argument, asshat. That’s on the person making the claim.
Not that any one of you actually grasp the rules of rhetoric.
You sound fun.
You don’t.
We know.
Eat more fiber, do more cardio, and buy a bidet.
Started taking fiber supplements (psyllium husk from Costco). The change was revelatory. Went from trying to clean peanut butter out of carpet to perfectly clean single wipes, every time. REVELATORY.
I take them because of IBS. Life-changer.
But also it could be wheat intolerance… It took me over 30 years to discover it.
The gen Z version of delete wife, hit Facebook, divorce lawyer.
I dunno. Buying more TP seems a lot easier than all that stuff.
It is right up until the hemorrhoids
whats troubling is that this is POV
I think my cat would have the same face if he was watching me wipe for half an hour straight without giving him attention. But yeah, not a POV.
The cat knows what will be used once the toilet paper roll is empty.
My tired eyes saw “The cat knows what he will be used for” and I just shouted “NO!!” Lmao
Their significant other has broke into the bathroom teary-eyed wondering how much longer they have to sit waiting with the movie paused
Removed by mod
It’s like I’m wiping a marker
I love how Plaza completely breaks, and the cameraperson crops her out of the shot until she (somewhat) recovers.
You’re supposed to finish pooping before you wipe.
DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Do-Do*
Since switching to bidet, I can eat spicy food again without fear of rectalbution.
Is that a thing? I’ve been theorizing so, but kind of hard to know when your backend would normally be on fire.
Is it because the bidet just splooshes the spicy poop away? Or are there like miniscule wounds there from all the dry-rubbing? I know, when you’ve got an irritable bum, doctors will prescribe bidets for that…
Imma answer this sorta seriously:
When you wipe like you’re attempting to scrub away a particularly peculiar protruding posterior particulate you are often actually just causing damage to the rather soft and sensitive rectal tissue. This typically results in irritation. This irritation can lead to itching. Itching leads to the need to scratch, which can take the form of wiping.
Thankfully (usually) the body tends to focus a bit more on areas where bacteria frequent. So abrasions or tears in the rectum won’t normally cause further complications. However, it is recommended to seek relief from symptoms by obtaining a safe anti-itch cream, being gentler, and generally just coping. I suspect that a bidet is also recommended because it causes less/no trauma to an area already sensitive, especially when healing.
For burning, such as from spicy foods, I’d guess a bidet acts in a similar fashion to running a minor burn under water until the pain subsides. Just don’t go shoving any sterile gauze up in there unless you want to be featured on one of the Fire Department Chronicles’ shorts.
It’s infuriating that it’s both people being so dumb they can’t understand basic grammar and people doing it because it gets more comments. Both of those things are just so shitty and disappointing.
I’ve seen it being used wrong so many times now my brain just picks the correct interpretation most of the time.
I predict the “you’re”/“your” distinction will be gone in 100 years. Maybe it’s all “you” in another 100.
ur
I think it’s more that a lot of people use voice to text and not all engines are good at telling the context for homophones.
Spelling isn’t grammer lol
grammar
grandmother
I dunno, I feel like it could be argued that this specific stuff is a word choice thing and not a typo
You’re
There is life before the bidet, and then life after the bidet.
You all need to eat more fiber
I started having the above problem last year after drastically increasing my fiber intake. I think I have pelvic floor dysfunction which creates a blockage. Adding more fiber makes the problem worse because you just have more poo moving toward the blockage, but not getting around it. I still eat a ton of fiber but laxatives have helped.
It depends what kind of fiber, bran clogs me up but Metamucil makes it slip out easily, with a sort of slime coating to lube every lump.
Fibre. Unless you want me to eat those glass wires transmitting laser light?
Whatever works man, I’m out of options
I see I failed miserably at being funny, sorry
Brown brown brown, red.
Pruritus ani, aka “polished anus syndrome”.
There’s a lot that can cause it, but sanding the skin off with toilet paper is definitely on the list.
worst Harry Potter spell.
I legit think those exact words all the time, lol. Everything in medicine is latin…
I actually laughed out loud during an Anatomy & Physiology test because I saw the words “Corpus Cavernosum” and got the mental image of Harry pointing his wand at Draco, shouting those words, and Draco falling over, grabbing his crotch, and screaming. xD
Eat fewer brown sharpies
This.
My what is on the 368th wipe?
Eat more vegetables ffs
Try switching to white toilet paper
Grocery bags are just more economical
2 capsules of psyllium fiber with every meal will change this cat’s life.
