• catsarebadpeople
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      7 months ago

      Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, emotional, or erratic behaviors, and difficulties regulating emotions and behavior.

      • wizzor@sopuli.xyz
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        7 months ago

        Thanks, this entire post makes more sense now.

        Although I gotta ask, at that point is it possible OP also has some issues…?

        • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Very plausible. Sometimes this happens to people who grow up with family who have cluster b personality disorders. It’s like they’re conditioned to be good partners to people who have it. Ask me how I know.

            • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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              7 months ago

              Mother had BPD, possibly ASPD, brother had NPD. I have a tendency to attract people who suffered intense childhood trauma.

              • Rolder@reddthat.com
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                7 months ago

                I’m picturing you going on a first date and just casually asking something like “So, childhood abuse yes or no?”

                • Disaster
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                  7 months ago

                  Often times, you don’t need to ask. You can just tell.

                • Jerkface@lemmy.world
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                  7 months ago

                  Like another comment said, sometimes you can just sense it, but often enough they will just tell me. I have heard so many stories, frequently about sexual assault by a family member, from someone I had just met or barely knew.

        • Hacksaw@lemmy.ca
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          7 months ago

          Is it possible? Dude rejected a woman for having “a blown up vagina” and taking “too much birth control”… Those aren’t real things and they’re a good sign that OP has some real incel mentality. It’s quite possible he’s being an ass then when his partner reacts emotionally he says “cluster b, blown up vagina, too much birth control” and leaves.

    • VubDapple@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      In the main mental health manual called the DSM there is a category of personality disorders, and cluster b is a subset of those disorders containing narcissism, borderline and histrionic personality disorders all of which share in common that they predispose the person who has them to act in “dramatic and erratic” ways.

    • Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 months ago

      Just looked it up, basically means personality disorders that cause people to act erratically.

      Includes Antisocial-PD (closest diagnosis to the unofficial terms psycho/sociopath), Bordeline-PD, and Narcissistic-PD.

  • ArbitraryValue
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    7 months ago

    The cluster B people can be really alluring. I met a gorgeous woman once who was extremely enthusiastic about dating me. She couldn’t get enough of me. I was an awkward nerd who had never experienced anything like that before, and I liked it. I liked it a lot. After six months of dating, she asked me to marry her. I foolishly said “yes” - I knew it was crazy but here was this sexy, smart, funny woman literally begging me to accept her as my wife.

    Accepting her proposal flipped a switch. She had been high-strung before, but now completely random things would set her off and she would start yelling at me. She would yell at me in front of my family. She would even call me at work to yell at me because she remembered something and it made her angry at me. She was extremely jealous - I stopped talking to any of my female friends because even mentioning them made her flip out, but she still got mad that I wanted to spend time with my grandmother and my dog. She also started sending weird text messages to my relatives. For example, she kept telling my father that she wished she was not married to me.

    The thing is, she wasn’t always awful or else it would have been easy to leave. In between her angry outbursts she was still as affectionate as she had been before, but now I was constantly afraid that something would set her off. She was tiny and never physically violent but I was scared of her. I decided to divorce her after she yelled at me for wanting to include my family in my birthday celebration; the marriage had lasted six months.

    Anyway, where was I going with this… Men have to watch out too. Usually we imagine abuse as something a man does to a woman, but that’s not the only form it can take.

    • KnoLord@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Yep, fell for the same trap (minus the marriage, but lived 3.5 years of literal hell instead), and that bullshit shapes you more than everything.

      The worst part is being accused of being unempathetic, even though you put almost everything aside for them, just to be met with hatred when you inevitably set them off again.

      Brother, I hope you are now in a better place in life. Stay frosty :)

      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Yep. My exes like this always made me feel like I was this awful abusive monster of a person… for having totally normal boundaries and realistic timelines. turns out they were the monster.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      been there, done that.

      stay strong.

      been happier alone for the past 5 years then i ever was when i was with cluster b ladies. they make your life a living hell.

      but it’s hard to date women who aren’t super into you the way cluster b women are. i’ve had women say they are interested in me the past few years… but they never make me feel like they are… they seem totally disinterested. cluster b woman actually make a very concerted effort to get involved with you… the average woman expects you to do all the work in that regard, ime.

      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7 months ago

        Of course, the BPD women are love bombing you as a technique to manipulate you specifically, so in the end it really isn’t that good. I’m working on it too, so I’m gonna say “we” here, but we have to work on retraining our brains to not need that intense feeling anymore if we expect to have a normal healthy relationship again.

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          initial attraction/chemistry is all that matters to 99% of people. training or not, that’s just life. It’s why drugs are fun, gambling is awesome, and fatty sugar foods taste so good.

          that’s why cluster b people, male or female, are so great at dating. they create the sparks with most everyone. normies don’t. especially given heteronormative gender roles where women are passive in dating.

          • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            7 months ago

            I mean sure, you could succumb to your base desires, or you could rise above for your own betterment and to avoid being trapped in the same cycle of abuse. Up to you really!

              • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                7 months ago

                I’m making progress, personally, and I doubt your assumption that I’m better or more capable than most. Maybe, but I know me and that doesn’t really check out, most things that I can do, others can also learn to do even if it doesn’t just come naturally.

                • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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                  7 months ago

                  pro NFL people tell little kids they can be pro NFL players too. They are lying. most pro players are genetically elite. you can’t ‘learn’ to play football at an NFL level unless you the genetics. just go to any kids sports game and every dipshit dad will tell you how his son is gonna be a pro one day.

                  reality is most of us are VERY limited in what we can and can’t do and very people operate beyond a surface level and can self-actualize in any meaningful way. hence why so many dudes i ride bikes with hire pro coaches to keep them in shape… they can’t do it themselves. I can… but I am a statistical anomaly.

                  generalizing from your own experience and abilities is always a fools errand. what is theoretically possible and what is practical possible are two very different things.

    • ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com
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      7 months ago

      Yup, dated someone with BPD. I ended the romantic relationship when I couldn’t take the drama, tried to stay friends because I honestly worried about her and wanted to provide support.

      Ended the friendship after the second time she called and held me hostage on the phone for hours, telling me if I hung up or didn’t agree to date again, she’d kill herself.

      She texted me for the next 8 months with constantly changing numbers calling me terrible things, sometimes hundreds of messages a day.

      Messed me up. Would not recommend.

      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        amen. i had a relationship i ended 6 years ago because of lying. she stalked me for months afterward while she was already engaged to another guy… it was incredibly f’ed up and i feel awful for that poor dude. i ended up having to delete all my socials before she finally gave up.

        I am super glad I didn’t marry her. despite her wanting to marry me. I knew something was ‘off’.

        • ArbitraryValue
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          7 months ago

          A man my ex-wife dated after I divorced her contacted me on Facebook once, calling her a “horrible psychopath”. Apparently he knew my name because she had told him awful things about me. I feel really sorry for him, but I also feel validated in a sense. I get a nagging thought sometimes that I could have prevented the failure of my marriage and made the relationship work somehow. (I don’t miss my ex at all but I’m ashamed of being divorced.) Knowing that another guy also had the experience I did with her reassures me that it really wasn’t my fault.

  • SuddenDownpour
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    7 months ago

    If some random came to me complaining that almost all of the several partners he’s had are all Cluster B, I’d immediately begin wondering if perhaps the issue isn’t that they’re all crazy, but rather that this random guy is uncapable of making the barest minimum effort to emotionally connect with anyone. If he also says shit like “vagina exploded because of clandestine dildo usage, too much birth control”, I’m simply just not gonna give him any benefit of the doubt.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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      7 months ago

      Due to skim reading, I didn’t see where it said “vagina exploded because of clandestine dildo usage”, and seeing the phrase in your comment made me reread OP incredulously. Yeah no, I agree with you

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        7 months ago

        Ah so they had human emotions and mental health struggles.

        When someone says “I’m a drama magnet” they are the drama. When someone says “I attract psychos” they are the psycho. More likely than not this chud learned the term “Cluster B” and just pounds that button on anything that remotely makes him feel uncomfortable.

        edit: one, single, lone grump read this and said “We should be able to call females Cluster B whenever we want!” and slammed the downvote button with one greasy finger. I don’t know why I find that image so fuckin funny.

          • ameancow@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            That’s another whole side for people to understand, that even if he was telling the truth about his string of exes, the large majority of people who have mental health or personality disorders actually get treatment and manage it, just that you don’t hear stories about these people because it’s not sensational. So instead our only view into how mental health disorders and relationships work together is from unhinged greentext like this.

        • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Yeah. If everywhere you go it smells like dog shit, check the bottom of your own shoe first.

          It’s like those people that keep getting into bad relationships are damaged themselves, just like anon. Doesn’t mean the other people aren’t broken, too.

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          some psychos are very good at hiding it until they have you committed to them.

          lots and lots of people are ‘high functioning’ who have serious issues… and you’d never know until you’ve been intimate with them for quite some time. they just manage to hide their issues from their job, friends, family etc.

          • ameancow@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            Oh I believe it, I was born and raised to people like that. I was never able to tell anyone how bad it was because my parents were very good at pretending to be normal and people would tell me how “lucky” I am all the time.

            My point is though, if it keeps happening to you in life where you keep running into these cases, you are either astronomically unlucky or there is something about you either attracting them, or you are one of them and have reversed the narrative in your mind to preserve your sense of identity.

      • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Sounds like legitimate psychology incels gonna use this to sound more valid. The “blown up vagina” “too much birth control” are giant red arrows pointing at this. Sad.

        • ameancow@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Remembering that it’s greentext and thus almost assuredly entirely fiction, the way he wrote this fiction gives insight into what he thinks of women, that they are prone to this really specific mental health/personality disorder is a reflection of him and his views, unless like… he left out the part where he was also a licensed therapist for each of these women and those were real diagnoses.

  • Stern@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    “It smells like shit everywhere I go why does everything smell so bad no I won’t look at the bottom of my shoe”

    • Zozano@aussie.zone
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      7 months ago

      I’m equally as concerned about “too much birth control”

      How the fuck does that work?

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Once in a while on the relationship/sex forums you see women making posts like “My boyfriend lost his mind that I masturbate and said having any kind of pleasure or happiness at all is akin to cheating and is currently beating me while I make this post, reddit is this normal?” or “My boyfriend is jealous of my tampons and demands that I never touch my vagina with anything and has locked my pelvis in a 16th century iron chastity cage, reddit how can get him to marry me?”

      This is the kind of guy who thinks vaginas can be reshaped by putting things in them, but also doesn’t seem to think by the same logic that his dick should have become a long, thin noodle by now.

          • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            7 months ago

            He could mean a big 'ol hole, which, tbh I’m not a scientist and it could be that jamming the biggest bad dragon you can find up there may affect it in a similar way a similarly sized baby would, BUT also the absolute classic movie Mean Girls leads me to believe that some people just naturally have “a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.”

          • ameancow@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            The dildo being a wave-function basically exists as a sphere of all possible angles and orientations, what’s more, the closer you look at it, the more likely it will teleport into your neighbor’s kitchen.

      • PoliticalAgitator@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Isn’t it cool how many red flags he managed to sneak into that one sentence?

        The fact that he used the word “clandestine” makes it sound like he convinced himself she must have a secret dildo she was using to destroy her genitals, because a 13 year old boy told him that’s how vaginas work and he never grew out of it.

        It’s really easy to imagine him being the problem. He decides she has a secret horse dildo hidden away somewhere, accuses her of it repeatedly and when she tells him to fuck off, decides she is “cluster b” for having reasonable reactions.

        4chan will not help this person.

  • Ibaudia@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    “Every girl I date is mentally ill” Wow that’s crazy bro, have you considered that you are also mentally ill and an asshole to boot?

  • CaptKoala@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    I reckon even a smidge of introspection would go a long way for anon.

  • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    So uh

    Anyone want to hook me up with the sterile nerd girl from Hinge? I could be dude number 5, I’m low maintenence

  • Nublets@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Easy, marry the childhood friend. Ez loving for 2 months then you get to keep her stuff. Use story of dead wife as checkmate to cluster b issues. Once cluster b chicks find out about each other leave state and repeat. Next caller please

  • Frank Ring@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Natually, women are more emotional then men. I don’t know much about cluster B though.

    If you think everybody’s crazy, maybe you’re the one that is.