• nukeOPM
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    115
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    8 个月前

    BREAKING NEWS UPDATE

    RUSSIA JUST DEPLOYED THEIR STRONGEST, MOST CAPABALE WARRIOR TO KURSK … Steven Seagal

    • nukeOPM
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      56
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      8 个月前

      Even better picture of Seagal displaying his expert weapon handling skills

      • mozz@mbin.grits.dev
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        8 个月前

        Needs to be the GIF of him going down a hallway switching from holding his rifle right-handed to left-handed when he changes his pointing direction

        • Aganim@lemmy.world
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          8 个月前

          Ah well, we don’t need a moving GIF to see this is the absolute pinnacle of manliness that Mother Russia has to offer.

  • nukeOPM
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    103
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    8 个月前

    THE LEAKS CONTINUE

    WE NOW HAVE VISUAL CONFIRMATION OF U.S. SPECIAL FORCES INVOLVEMENT IN KURSK

    • adarza@lemmy.ca
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      8 个月前

      this WILL show up on russian tv where they claim americans are part of the ‘invasion force’.

      • nukeOPM
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        8 个月前

        AS IT SHOULD. THIS IS REAL NEWS. NOT FAKE NEWS. REAL. THIS NEWS IS CERTIFIED GLUTEN-FREE, CAGE-FREE, AND HAND-CRAFTED BY ARTISAN CRACKHEADS. WE’RE TALKING NON-GMO, LOCALLY SOURCED, ORGANIC CRACKHEADS.

    • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      Point of order: The A Team were convicted of a crime they did not commit, and escaped from a military stockade. This means they are not US forces, but, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

  • rustyfish@lemmy.world
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    98
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    8 个月前

    Hear me out!

    The best these blokes ever came up with were their specials. So, we throw them off the Ukrainian battlefields with parachutes, where they each have to salvage a burnt out Russian armoured vehicle. Then they can show off how they personalised their tanks before the race starts. Whoever reaches Moscow first wins.

      • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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        8 个月前

        Jeremy Clarkson, Challenger. Talks up the mk 3 but shows up with a mk 1 somehow. Maintains superiority of his tank because it has a tea kettle.

        James May, Leopard. Gets the latest model, stands on it’s smooth ride.

        Richard Hammond, Abrams. Somehow shows up with upgraded engine, but less armor. Anything to make it go even faster.

      • Summzashi@lemmy.one
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        8 个月前

        Jeremy Clarkson rolls up in a BM 13 Katyusha with raised suspension. The license plate says ClarksonOrgel

  • nukeOPM
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    72
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    8 个月前

    UNCONFIRMED REPORTS THE NAVY SEAL HAS ALSO BEEN ACTIVATED

  • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
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    8 个月前

    Just make sure Clarkson doesn’t get dinner. He’ll beat up the entire Russian army single handedly.

  • nukeOPM
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    8 个月前

    THREE SUSPECTS CAUGHT ON CCTV EXITING THE KURSK NUCLEAR POWER PLANT. DOES ANYONE HAVE MORE INFORMATION???

    • mindbleach
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      8 个月前

      Putin has declared the man at center Publix enemy number one.

      • Clay_pidgin
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        8 个月前

        Burn notice was fun. Sam Axe (Bruce Campbell) is the man.

        • verity_kindle
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          8 个月前

          “CIA? Bunch of bitchy little girls.” -Sam Axe capturing the hearts of the world

    • verity_kindle
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      8 个月前

      Oh, they are. Look how serious their expressions are. It’s always the unkempt, gormless looking one who turns out to be Head of Station or some secret shit.

  • Pringles@lemm.ee
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    8 个月前

    Looking for some of that black earth farm land for the next season of Clarkson’s Farm.