…continued
Vance doesn’t read books or book summaries, he reads online book discussions to learn what his opinions should be
Keeps a hot pack under his pillow to keep both sides warm
Eats his hotdogs center-out
Audibly vocalizes “mmmmmmm” every time he steps into a school
Prefers his curly fries steamed
He feeds his fingernail clippings to squirrels
He tips with those fake $100 bill religious tracts
He stands to the left on the peoplemover in the airport
He prefers his socks sweaty and “crunchy”
He begins most conversations with “don’t you know who I am?”
He does that thing when he talks where he gets too close and starts rubbing your shoulder
He tips with those fake $100 bill religious tracts
I know most of these are just silly digs for the memes, but I could 100% see prince couchfucker doing this and thinking in his mind that he actually did the server a favor.
He uses metal utensils on teflon non-stick pots and pans, then immediately runs them under cold tap water because finds the sizzle soothing
He orders a salad with the dressing on the side and eats everything but the lettuce
He puts quick-dry clothes in the wash on HOT and leaves them in the dryer for an hour on maximum temperature
He waits until it’s his turn to order to start looking at the menu when dining at fast food joints
He showers everywhere, even at home, in a bathing suit because even he thinks it’s totally gay if he sees any male’s genitals…even his own
He goes to a fancy steakhouse, orders a filet mignon well done, and dips it in ketchup packets he brought in his pocket
Whenever he plays Cards Against Humanity, every round he says “I don’t get it”
He never swallows fruit seeds because he will argue to the death that the seeds will grow inside you. Same with chewing gum and takes 5-7 years to digest it
I’m amazed by how weird he can be. Even talking about his own family, he makes it weird.
He clarified that he does love his wife, despite her not being white.
It’s amazing how he finds ways to create a bigger hole for himself out of softball questions raised by friendly media outlets. Imagine the stuff he would say if he sat for interviews with real journalists trying to press him on the wacko stuff he’s said and his unpopular policy positions as a candidate.
His whole thing about his Indian mother-in-law yesterday was weird, too.
The Instagram one is literally me tho. Fuck downloading a meta app and the only time I’m on there is if it’s linked in something I’m reading
“Incel” is really losing its meaning if you have “married incels”. We probably need a different word for “people who have abhorrent views about women”
Traditionalists is the usual term. Paleoconservatives is also a known term.
Reactionaries is my preferred term for them.
I thought it was “chauvinist”?
He’s definitely wearing eyeliner, right?
I think some call it “guyliner”.
Since he’s doing it, he knows. It’s probably best to gloss over it. I expect that he wants to tell some “war stories” about wearing eyeliner in the Iraqi desert or something like that.
Everyone knows death metal is best enjoyed at 1.5x, get it together Vance.
Whoa, hold your speedy little horses buddy. Nightcore is played at 1.35x. You dare go faster?
There’s almost no point in making up stuff like this because his real-life antics are plenty weird.
He’s a total fart sniffer. I mean, look at his expression. He’s clearly sniffing someone’s farts in this image.
is there a template for this, but without photoshopped eyeliner?
Yeah, he doesn’t wear wings like that.
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ah damn i was hoping to make a “make your own vance” with different eyeliner styles you could drag and drop like a dressup doll game
He’s got a partial epicanthic fold, that’s just his eye
No there’s definitely an eyeliner wing in that pic.
Idk, I zoomed in super closely and I honestly don’t think so. The darker area corresponds exactly to where his eyelid meets his cheek. I think he’s potentially wearing eyeliner, just not wings
Those are skin folds, not wings.
OK death metal at half speed does seem kinda neat… and I’m not a death metal guy. Why doesn’t spotify have speed options?!
Because they’re too busy adding stupid features like music clips and smart shuffle
Smart shuffle is the fucking worst, took me a minute to figure out why shit was on Playlists that I never heard before.
Type O Negative already exists
Is that a band?
This guy is weird as hell but let’s not forget about how bad Palin was.
I don’t know if it still counts as modern times, but there was something up with Dick Cheney.
I would totally believe those are all real but does anyone have a source?
Great pic. I also can’t tell if these are real, not real, or even some real. That’s the problem.
I would also say I don’t care if he puts cherries on a pizza, but if the other side can care so much about what mustard Obama used, I guess this is ok.
Well I mean, at least the mustard isn’t DIJON!
What’s wrong with using instagram on desktop, you at least have privacy, as the app isn’t required.
