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fossilesque@mander.xyzM to Science Memes@mander.xyzEnglish · 9 months ago

Cucumber 🥒

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Cucumber 🥒

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fossilesque@mander.xyzM to Science Memes@mander.xyzEnglish · 9 months ago
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  • geekwithsoul@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    Evidently it really was probably a cucumber? http://artisticlicenseorwhyitrustnoone.blogspot.com/2022/11/bullshit-memes-8-ancient-egyptian.html?m=1

    tl;dr - was found with other model food, probably meant to sustain someone in the afterlife

    • Hello_there@fedia.io
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      9 months ago

      Let me guess. A model carrot, squash was there also. And a drawing of a farmer with his shirt off.

      • mst@discuss.tchncs.de
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        9 months ago

        • Hello_there@fedia.io
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          9 months ago

          Butt plugs and corn ribbed for her pleasure

          • DUMBASS@leminal.space
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            9 months ago

            Yeah picture didnt help their cause, thats a whole bunch of ancient sex toys.

            • CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world
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              9 months ago

              How thoughtful of them to ensure that the deceased would have something to put up their butt in the underworld.

          • tabris@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Porous material and no flared bases, not approved.

            • Hello_there@fedia.io
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              9 months ago

              <thats why she died>

      • Tja@programming.dev
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        9 months ago

        🍆

    • kamenLady.@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Sustain someone with the ability to have a little sexy time in the afterlife? I like this.

      • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        No it was a final insult, telling them to go fk themselves /s

    • M137@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Wakes up in the afterlife only to bite into fake food, that’s gotta suck.

      • Lobreeze@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        You ever tried eating a mouldy cucumber?

        • CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          How long does it take you to die?

          • Lobreeze@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Not something I’m in a hurry to find out!

    • stupidcasey@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      IM sure that’s what they wrote down and I’m sure that’s what the person who had it commissioned said it was but the one thing I am more sure of is that this is not a cucumber and nobody who ever saw it has ever thought it is a cucumber.

      • geekwithsoul@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        From the article I linked with the item in the context of other finds at the same site…

        • affiliate@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          they chose to hide it in plain sight

          • geekwithsoul@lemm.ee
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            9 months ago

            Why does that sound like the voice of experience?

            • affiliate@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              🤐

        • _lilith@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          kinky

        • kamenLady.@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Theoretically even a buttplug could be assembled using 2 of the veggies

        • leftzero@lemmynsfw.com
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          9 months ago

          So, a bunch of dildos and buttplugs. Even a ribbed one!

  • Apytele
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    deleted by creator

    • superkret@feddit.org
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      9 months ago

      “I found this strange fucking object” vs “I found this strange fucking object”

      • loopedcandle@lemmynsfw.com
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        9 months ago

        I hope this is your highest voted comment on Lemmy.

    • fossilesque@mander.xyzOPM
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      9 months ago

      “It’s a ritual!” is a classic archaeology meme.

    • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Motel of the Mysteries is basically this joke explored over 95 pages, lovingly illustrated by David Macaulay, the guy who did those black and white books Cathedral, Pyramid, Castle, and The Way Things Work, as well as others. It’s hilarious.

  • hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    No you see they know it’s a cucumber because ancient Egyptian dildos had a compartment for bees so that users could experience a vibration effect.

    • fossilesque@mander.xyzOPM
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      9 months ago

      This is the economy model. Made for the common folk, not Cleopatra. (That is just an urban legend btw.)

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        9 months ago

        I was not aware of this urban legend, but I will repeat it anyways because it’s funny.

  • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space
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    9 months ago

    It was probably used for religious purposes of some sort

    • qprimed@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      indeed. coming closer to believed gods is important to some in any society. its just a clear in and out conclusion.

      • Hupf@feddit.org
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        9 months ago

        Usage was frequently accompanied by callings to a deity from a trance like state.

        • scholar@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          A very popular ritual that has survived for millennia

  • Nyx0r@discuss.online
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    9 months ago

    Likely used for ceremonial purposes.

  • ArbitraryValue
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    The Egyptians weren’t always shy, but there do appear to be traces of green paint.

    • The_v@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      That’s just Min.

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Min_(god)

      • qprimed@lemmy.ml
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        9 months ago

        you know, after reading and viewing the depictions in the wikipedia article I am going to just keep my mouth shut.

    • BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      Mood

  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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    9 months ago

    Perhaps it was located next to a pair of model tomatoes

  • credo@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Where are the ‘?’ marks. Is this how people write now.

    • antonim@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Imagine yourself being confused and baffled by something, and asking “Really?”. The intonation is rising, as is usual in questions. Imagine yourself hearing someone say something you are completely confident is absurdly false or a lie, and you want to suggest to the person that they’re wrong and you know the truth, by sarcastically asking “Really?”. The intonation is falling, closer to ordinary statements of fact.

      OOP is using the full stop at the end of his “questons” to suggest the second, sarcastic intonation.

    • RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world
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      It’s how people spoke in May of 2021. It was a different time.

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        � � � � � � � �

        • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          Oh that’s cool, let me try.
          Hunter2

          • BigFatNips
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            9 months ago

            All I can see is Hunter2 so you’re probably fine

            • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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              9 months ago

              It works!

              • blackluster117@possumpat.io
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                9 months ago

                Ah, a classic. Good vintage on this one.

    • the_crotch
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      9 months ago

      It’s a unicode emoji of a cucumber that your device apparently doesn’t support

      • essteeyou@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        The person you’re replying to is talking about the text in the image. “Is it though. Is it a model cucumber.” which should have two question marks.

        • the_crotch
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          9 months ago

          Oh my bad, I misread the comment

    • Match!!@pawb.social
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      9 months ago

      is there a problem か

    • Lux (it/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 months ago

      Grammar is made up

  • 10_0@lemmy.ml
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    Do a scientific test were you put it in front of a cat and see what happens

    • Comment105@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      Then do the same test but you put it in front of Catharina, and see what happens.

  • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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    The Egyptlogists might have some additional context and knowledge that some rando on Twitter might now.

    • FiskFisk33@startrek.website
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      sure, but experts have been making bad assumptions before.

      Like archaeologists up until relatively recently have been calling viking graves with swords in male, without really looking at the actual skeleton.

      that said, yeah, I still definitely trust the experts more

      • BigDanishGuy
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        My wife’s been reading this book that references this. As well so many other cases of men assuming genders or disregarding women in science, among other things. It’s crazy. “hmm that skeleton has wide hips, but it is also buried with a sword, so it’s a man”. Female physiology traits in a man is way more plausible, than a woman being buried with a sword … wtf?!?

        Anyway, the book is next on my reading list https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_Women:_Exposing_Data_Bias_in_a_World_Designed_for_Men

      • cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world
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        I’m thinking they found other fruit/veggie/food models with the dildo.

        • FiskFisk33@startrek.website
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          9 months ago

          yeah, I still definitely trust the experts more

          • Comment105@lemm.ee
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            Yeah, I’m also guessing the Tweeter is just a masterbator, not a real doctorbator with a PhD in D.

        • CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world
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          And there is some green coloration on it, indicating the dildo was once painted to look like a cucumber. Derek Smalls gets it.

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        Shouldn’t have just assumed but in that case it was the correct assumption vast majority of the time. Still bad to assume.

        • FiskFisk33@startrek.website
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          it kinda wasn’t

          https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/researchers-reaffirm-famed-ancient-viking-warrior-was-biologically-female-180971541/

          • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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            And out of Viking graves with swords, how many of them have turned out to be women?

    • SapphironZA
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      9 months ago

      But did cucumbers look like that 4000 years ago?

  • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    Remember that the idiots in the 19th & 20th centuries uncovering all kinds of Egyptian stuff purposefully damaged inscriptions and art because they prominently showed gasp penises!

  • Damage@feddit.it
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    I’m the model of a cucumber Egyptian

  • voldage@lemmy.world
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    As we well know all women and men in history that lived together with someone of the same gender were just friends. There are many historical records in which esteemed historians depicted the factual truth of deep friendships. Luckily for the rest of us, those noble seers always knew all context required and bore no prejudices towards anything whatsoever. That is a model cucumber. It even tastes like one.

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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    There are some people in here who are weirdly obsessed with risking a yeast infection.

    • nBodyProblem@lemmy.world
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      But bro

      You could get yourself a yeast infection with 3000 year old yeast

      • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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        Was talking more about how many people are insisting cucumbers and eggplants should actually be used like that

      • Match!!@pawb.social
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        sourdough infection

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