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Gravy Seal.
I liked the South Park episode that featured him and Whole Foods.
That looks like a badly AI generated image of Steven Seagal that Steven Seagal would use as his profile picture on social media as a bit.
If he isn’t so full of himself.
As you can see he is certainly full of something
He’s a piece of shit in the inside, too.
Just keep your distance and he can’t fall on you to crush you
Oh how the turntables
Just remember folks, someone being fat is not a reason to hate them. Theres literally nothing else about him thats a redeeming quality, his being a lardass is the least deplorable thing about him. The fact that he must just shovel empty calories into his maw all day atleast limits the stupid shit coming out of it.
Him being fat is the only relatable thing about him.
It’s not that it’s deplorable, it’s that it’s comical given the context of him making a career being a self-deluded unconvincing badass.
For him it’s not the fact that he’s fat, but the absolute tragedy of a personality that excuses themselves shoveling food into his gullet. Cause you just know that in his own head he thinks he could still kick anyone’s ass.
Most people aren’t fat for that reason and being fat isn’t a reason to make fun. But Steven Segal’s pathology makes him being fat a little funny.
As a fatty, I can agree with this sentence.
I’m surprised he isn’t in a helicopter because I heard he has been flying those for like 45 years.
You may not like him, but the man’s in his seventies. This is what a person in their seventies looks like.
Fat people in their 70s
Well yeah, if you spend your life doing martial arts of combat sports your joints are probably absolutely fucked, and you’ve got no hope of getting meaningful exercise in without considerable pain. Hell, I’ve done BJJ for only ten years and my knees are a wreck. I know Seagal is into aikido and shit, but being rich I don’t blame him for being fat in his seventies. It’s really fucking hard to stay in shape when you get old.
Yeah no, if you actually spend your life doing sports and eating well you don’t look like that.
As a counter example, Jackie Chan is in his 70s and looks like this:
Another example, US Secretary of Defense who is still serving and only retired from the military in 2016 and has seen literal combat, and is 71:
If you’ve wrecked your knees with only 10 years of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu it’s likely because you started at a later age, and/or didn’t start off really fit but rather got fit through it.
Or have a predisposition to having weaker knees, such as being primarily of European ancestry (weaker joints + arthritis more likely in exchange for plague resistance).
Old people don’t magically become fat.
You’re a VA rater aren’t you? That guy who writes, “The VA has decided your joint pain after 10 years of Airborne duty is not Service Related.”
Only on Lemmy would someone with (likely) zero experience in combat sports tell someone that a sport known for rampant knee issues is “their fault”, and not due to the increased force on the knees from doing a ground-based sport.
Again, only on Lemmy would someone say “you can’t be fat in your seventies, these famous people aren’t”.
Again, only on Lemmy would someone say “you can’t be fat in your seventies, these famous people aren’t”.
Get that Strawman! Nobody’s saying that. The sweeping claim that was made was in fact:
This is what a person in their seventies looks like.
A claim made by you. The point is, no, this is not just “what being in your 70’s looks like,” and no, involvement in combat sports does not automatically make you look like this in your 70’s.
Can’t outrun the fork, fatty.
Caloric deficit > killing yourself on a treadmill
Weight loss is just math.
That ignores a huge psychological aspect of weight gain, alongside several questions that contribute:
- How does the body manage when someone goes from incredible, disciplined health - to no care
- How do you maintain a calorific deficit in ill health, or with limited mobility?
- How do you stop someone eating for fun when they’re in their twilight years and they want to enjoy themselves?
- How do you motivate someone that has gone from good mobility to bad mobility?
- How do you navigate a caloric deficit safely with both advanced age, retirement, AND diabetes?
I can say that for the latter points, it is incredibly hard to do so, looking at my parents and with people I’ve trained with. Furthermore, going from fighting fit to limited care can make you explode in both weight and joint issues. I’ve trained with a few army guys or people with pro sports experience, and it’s mad how even in your forties you can go from a sub-twenty minute 5k to throwing up on a mat during a 5 min spar.
That’s a surprisingly kind view of things, but yeah, my dad did mountaineering his whole life and fucked his knees proper, but also likes to enjoy good food, so now in his seventies and with diabetes creeping in, it’s a perfect combo for becoming fat.
I guess it’s a bit easier to mock Steven Seagal because he’s been so fit in his movies throughout most of his career, and now it turns out he was an asshole all along, on top of looking like an asshat even when I loved his movies. But mocking him for being an older human still feels rather cheap.
Holy shit when did this site turn into pure reddit?
Eternal September, my friend
Lemmy is still in March or April if you ask me
On Tuesday.
I can finally say to have a body like ab action movie star, woohoo!
My favorite Steven Seagal story, from his Wikipedia page:
Seagal has been accused by former stunt performers who have worked with him, including Kane Hodder, Stephen Quadros, and Gene LeBell, of intentionally hitting stuntmen during scenes. Additionally, while serving as stunt coordinator for Out for Justice, LeBell allegedly got into an on-set altercation with Seagal over his mistreatment of some of the film’s stunt performers. After the actor claimed that, due to his aikido training, he was “immune” to being choked unconscious, LeBell offered Seagal the opportunity to prove it. LeBell is said to have placed his arms around Seagal’s neck, and once Seagal said “go”, proceeded to choke him unconscious, with Seagal losing control of his bowels. Seagal bodyguard and stuntman Steven Lambert stated he was present and said that a confrontation did happen, during which Seagal elbowed LeBell before he could lock the hold on Seagal, after which LeBell flipped Seagal.
Haha oh wow… He not only failed to stay concious, but also shit himself in front of everyone. I love that for him.
Lost a scuffle to avoid getting choked, gets choked anyway. Shit self in the process. Classic Seagal.
Lol imagine thinking that aikido training means your brain doesn’t need oxygen.
Well, I would have guessed that less brain needs less oxygen, but I’m clearly wrong.
A movie producer I worked with in my time in the industry had done a movie with Segal in which Segal was to shoot a gun. Segal said he would only use a very specifically modified AR15. The production purchased the AR with all of the upgrades Segal requested. Segal fired it one time, said it was too loud and had too much kickback and he wanted to use a prop instead.
He said an AR-15 had too much recoil? Is he made of tissue paper, or did they mod it to fire artillery shells? Christ, one of the demos they did for us at our first live fire in basic training was having one of our fellow soldiers hold an M-16 stock UP TO HIS NUTS and fire it downrange to show just how little recoil they had. I’m not kidding, I personally witnessed this. I have also put at least 20,000 rounds through M-16’s and AR-15’s in my life. They don’t kick. Seagal is a pussy.
I was trained with the H&K G3 with a slide stock. It’s 7.62 and when I tried a 5.56 for the first time (a Swedish AK-5)I literally had to check to see if it did indeed shoot. There was no recoil from the 5.56. Never tried a M-16 apart from checking out the M-4 that the Rangers my squad was seconded to had (I was Norwegian Combat Engineer), no way that can kick to much.
M-4 / M-16 same difference. Unless it’s chambered in something other than 5.56 they all shoot the same. And yeah, it’s nothing like 7.62. As you are aware… you KNOW it when you’re firing 7.62!
It’s why they’re in common use and one of the best things for home defense. Basically anyone can handle one
Edit: ITT… people who think a shotgun with birdshot isn’t going through walls and is easier to use than a AR. In close distances, birdshot is a slug and will %100 go through walls.
A long gun is not good for home defense. A pistol is much better in CQC. Also a shotgun does require much less aiming in a high stress situation. You’re just being silly.
Also birdshot is not a slug. Those are literally two different things. That’s two different kinds of ammo, what are you talking about. A slug has way more mass, which is a hug factor in penetration. Wtf is this nonsense.
Source: bored out of my mind in the UMSC stained at 29 Palms and did Mohave Viper combat training stuff a ton. Try to clear a tight building with an AR and you realize how easy it is to just grab a barrel as you try to clear a room.
They didn’t teach you not to flag your barrel at the corners? Or you were using an M16 instead of an M4?
And at 10 meters you’re going to get about a 5 inch spread on that birdshot. At 3 meters (a standard 10x10 foot room) you’re looking at about 1.5 inch spread. At 1.5 inches it’s absolutely going to say hello to the next room over. Granted, an honest to god slug is going to go through the next 5 rooms at least.
Pistols are nice but actually require more training because people hold them wrong, sight them wrong, and reset them wrong, whereas a rifle or shotgun is a lot more intuitive as long as your target is reasonably close.
The conclusion is obvious. The best home defense weapon is a claymore mine rigged to your front and back doors with a poorly executed wire that taps a battery. Hopefully it only does it when the door opens. No worries about neighbors or missing the bad guy.
Source - Combat Infantry Badge, circa 2003 and way too much time being told I couldn’t do things I thought were perfectly reasonable.
I wouldn’t use an AR for home defense because I’m not interested in shooting through 4 walls and killing my neighbors kid by accident.
I believe bird shot is enough of a deterrent for home defense and requires significantly less precision in a tense situation.
I wouldn’t use an AR for home defense because I’m not interested in shooting through 4 walls and killing my neighbors kid by accident.
Have you ever shot a gun before? Drywall isn’t stopping shit. Handgun rounds go through walls easily.
I believe bird shot is enough of a deterrent for home defense and requires significantly less precision in a tense situation.
You shot to kill not wound, and a shotgun isn’t easier to use than an AR, on top of that birdshot is not fanning out at 10’ in your home… it’s basically a slug at that distance and will %100 go through drywall.
You’ve been reading some really FUDD shit if you believe anything you typed up.
Edit: lol at people upvoting that complete nonsense comment to this one. Please for the love of Cthulhu people don’t buy a shotgun and leave it in your home for home defense and do not load it with fucking birdshot…get a handgun if you’re afraid of an AR.
So you understand how birdshot is different than a FMJ? A pellet isn’t going through 3 walls, a FMJ is. There is massively more penetration and lethality after penetration. Have you ever shot a gun?
And yes a shotgun is much easier to use, are you crazy? You need much much much less accuracy. You literally can just aim down a hallway and get great coverage.
it’s basically a slug at that distance and will %100 go through drywall.
Hey it’s gotta go through some fiberglass, glued-together wood chips, and plastic siding too. They just need a few layers of wet tissue paper on there as well and they’ll be golden.
Except for kindergartners
Now wondering if there are six-year-olds in Africa using M16/AR-15 style rifles as part of some warlord’s army. I guess they don’t get to go to kindergarten, though.
AK47, no US arms are there being used, it’s a popular rifle here, but anywhere else in the world its AKs and SKSs and Mosins. The amount of those variants built in the world is probably 5Xs the AR variants out there. The mosins alone are like 100+ million built.
Do you know what happened to the gun afterwards?
He ate it, from what it looks like.
The producer has it.
I’m just using your story as an excuse to promote Bobby Fingers. Check out a diorama on the confrontation.
You can not go wrong with Bobby Fingers.
I’m glad you did. What craftsmanship!
It’s truly a gem of a story. I can only hope Seagal thinks of it frequently, and has yet to accept himself and heal.
On the other hand, when Seagal was asked about the incident, he directly denied the allegations, calling LeBell a “sick, pathological scumbag liar”, and offered the name of a witness who could prove LeBell had fabricated the entire story. The claim garnered a heated response from LeBell’s trainee Ronda Rousey, who said that Seagal was the one lying, and declared “If [Seagal] says anything bad about Gene to my face, I’d make him crap his pants a second time.”
I love this. If it were a lie, I’m certain he’d sue them for defamation. Honestly, they probably should have sued him for calling them liars. Make him go to court over it and get it all documented. That would be the funniest thing to happen.
Rereading this makes me want to hug someone. It’s like a blanket straight from the dryer. Thank you
Based on the picture it looks like he vowed to never take another shit for the rest of his life.
The champion of No Shit September.
deleted by creator
Please enjoy. https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4
Exactly what I thought it would be. A real work of art.
If you like that check out Space Ice
Oh, oh I got one… Seagal VS LeBell, clay diorama
Jesus Christ, ain’t that Mr. Chrome from the Rubberbandits?
That was wonderful, thank you very much
He looks like that old fat fuck that washes up at a camping trip who everyone knows and no one wanted them there.
Good to know that I, too, have the body of an action movie star.
“Star,” like that chair, is doing a lot of heavy lifting here
