• @[email protected]
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    741 month ago

    This just gave me the idea of an item that is secretly highly radioactive. Carrying it and being around it it would slowly give the character increasingly acute symptoms of radiation poisoning.The characters can’t possibly understand what radiation poisoning is so they would think it is some sort of magical curse. However no magic users would be able figure out what it is and how to stop it.

    I’m wondering how long it would take for the players themselves to figure out what it really is, or if they ever would.

    • @kakes
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      491 month ago

      “You decipher the runes - they say ‘Drop and Run’.”

      • @[email protected]
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        551 month ago

        The dungeon entrance is marked with a message in an ancient language called “English.” It reads as follows:

        This place is a message… and part of a system of messages… pay attention to it!

        Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.

        This place is not a place of honor… no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.

        What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.

        The danger is in a particular location… it increases towards a center… the center of danger is here… of a particular size and shape, and below us.

        The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.

        The danger is to the body, and it can kill.

        The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.

        The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

        $10 says the party decides to delve for treasure anyway.

        • @kakes
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          141 month ago

          That’s 100 rounds, seems like plenty of time to me.

          • SwiggitySwole
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            81 month ago

            That’s almost 100 whole sessions. It’s honestly too long of you ask me.

    • @ryathal
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      111 month ago

      If they do figure it out you could be in for a very long debate about how far away something is inside a bag of holding.

      • @mindbleach
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        11 month ago

        “Hey, I speak Infernal! … what tastes like blue?”

    • @mindbleach
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      21 month ago

      A modernist version of Spoony’s favorite TTRPG, “Surprise! It’s Call Of Cthulu.”

  • FenrirIII
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    611 month ago

    There is an old movie called “Mom and Dad Save the World.” It’s pure entertainment.

    The planet is full of idiots and one of their most dangerous weapons is the light grenade. Anyone who picks it up disappears in a bright flash. So, why would anyone ever pick up this well-known weapon? Because it says “Pick me up” on the side.

  • @[email protected]
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    481 month ago

    “Alright guys, so, obviously it’s cursed. But imagine how good it would be if we could sneak it into some bad guy’s pocket. I pick up the gem.”

    • Neato
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      291 month ago

      GM: “Uhh, allllriiiiight. Make a wisdom saving throw. DC: fuck you.”

        • Neato
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          91 month ago

          I did that once. Put on the necromancer’s crown and crit the save. I was going to have to make those crit saves hourly so I reluctantly took it off.

      • @mindbleach
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        41 month ago

        “Does a 40 save?”

        “Look me in the eyes, and tell me: should it?”

  • @sbv
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    1 month ago

    Holy shit check out that spear in the corner! I bet it’s awesome, since all these people died protecting it.

    The rust, scratches, and broken haft are probably just to disguise it.

    • @sorrybookbroke
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      1 month ago

      If my players said that from this image the spear would suddenly become a pretty sick magic item.

      It’s also cursed though, like the one ring, to cause jealousy and greed

    • @mindbleach
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      11 month ago

      My guy stumbles over the gemstone en route to the spear.

    • dindonmasker
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      151 month ago

      The sacred artifact of absolute cleanliness!

      • @[email protected]
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        31 month ago

        Unfortunately, someone once said the phrase “human filth” within a 500 ft range of the artifact and it never forgot.

  • @fsxylo
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    121 month ago

    Those other skeletons were just quitters.

  • @[email protected]
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    111 month ago

    This looks like a job for my unseen servant (or phantasmal minion for people who play the Pathfinder Remaster)!

    • @[email protected]
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      51 month ago

      Argh. I can feel this one.

      My party often gravitates to the grossest random ad-hoc detail.

      “I’m pretty sure that dead animal carcass is magical. I stuff it in my bag.”

      … Much later …

      “I dump the dead carcass on the Wizards desk and ask him to cast ‘detect magic’”.

      …party proceeds to remind me (the DM) that they’ve carried a dead animal carcass in a backpack for half the campaign…

    • @[email protected]
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      01 month ago

      No no, I don’t touch the strange glowing gem, I will however lacrosse that bitch into my magic satchel and keep truckin and have it appraised later.

  • @[email protected]
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    51 month ago

    oh come on, man. mage hand/unseen servant that shit into a bag of holding and forget about it for 3 years.

  • @[email protected]
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    51 month ago

    Nope that’s a trap. I think the DM mentioned something shiny in the flavor text an hour ago though. We should track that down.