alt-text
A short video still featuring a woman with blonde hair and a text overlay that reads “Things I prefer in the US as a German” with American and German flag emojis, and further states “I don’t know why we don’t have bagels in Germany.”
Above this, the social media post caption reads “I can think of a reason!” The post is from “Vikram Bath @vikrambath.bsky.social.”
And a staple of a New York Classic, the Breakfast Sandwich! New Yorkers might pick fights over how other cities do their pizza and hotdogs, but god help you if you try to take their breakfast egg and bagel.
When a place just tries to microwave the egg to put on their steamed bagel 😠
Eggs in the womb.?
It’s too much bread for a breakfast sandwich. Let the bagel stand on its own.
Correct, the egg sandwich goes on a roll.
A big pile of pastrami and provolone? You better believe it’s going on a bagel. Preferably pumpernickel.
Good breakfast sandwiches scoop the bagel out.
I honestly prefer a good buttermilk biscuit for breakfast sandwiches. If you have a Tudor’s Biscuit World near you go try them out! They are the only good fast food restaurant to work for, as in you get benefits, stock options, and will retire comfortably if you stay with them for 20 years. They also make some absolutely banging giant biscuit sandwiches.
I love a bagel, but bialys make even better breakfast sandwiches
Listen I love bagels. I just want to say that, there’s a reason it’s so popular and done so well by the good people living in NYC.
It’s probably the same reason that bagels are either rare, or kind of suck by comparison in Germany.
Somewhere a German is struggling to formulate a humerous retort.
Going to Russ and Daughters ruined me on other bagels
Thank you, that cleared up the confusion.
Bagels come from Poland? They aren’t even a thing here anymore. I never saw one in my life.
I can think of a reason!
I don’t get the joke please explain? Is the joke that bagels are bad? Because I’m German and I love bagels
The joke is that bagel shops are a Jewish food, so most bagel shops are owned and operated by Jews. And Germany did that whole holocaust thing, where they systematically tried to wipe out the Jews.
It’d be a little bit like if a country tried to wipe out Indian people, then went “Hmm why don’t we have any good Indian restaurants?”
Not a great example though, because Britain literally conquered India and we’re full of great Indian restaurants.
Did you systemically persecute Indian business owners in Britain, escalating it to ethnic cleansing?
The analogy is historically exact.
Britain is a cultural kleptomaniac, not remove everyone who isn’t British from their lands and make everything British.
In the US at least, bagels are stereotypically popular among jewish people.
I honestly don’t get to bagel hype so I would be glad if somebody could explain it to me. Why wouldn’t you just have a sandwich instead?
Edit: Thank you for your detailed explanations! I don’t live in the US and I have dietary restrictions, so I’m sure that I’ve just never had a good bagel. However you’ve convinced me that they are out there!
It’s all in the texture for me. The denser, somewhat chewy bagel is really nice and holds up to cream cheese a lot better than sandwich bread. They are amazing open face with cream cheese. Some folks like them with butter. It’s fine, but I do love cream cheese far more. I’ve had bagel sandwiches, which can be really good, but I do find them to be really heavy. (Plain or blueberry bagel, with cream cheese and sliced ham is my go-to for a bagel sandwich.)
You can get all sorts of flavors of bagels, like cinnamon, blueberry, and onion. You can get schmear (cream cheese spread) with many different varieties of mixins too, like herbs, fish, and lemon! I think my favorite combo is an onion bagel with garlic herb schmear.
That being said, I do love a good sandwich too.
I am not entirely sure you really like cream cheese, as you mentioned cream cheese only 5 times in your comment
cream
h
e
e
s
e
Kinda the same reason crumpets, rye bread and Naan bread exist - they go better for different things in different ways.
Im personally a salmom/cream cheese bagel guy
To tie this whole meme convo back into a circle, schmear is a yiddish word that comes from German schmieren which means to spread!
You know what’s a great way to spruce up a bagel and cream cheese and get kind of a sandwich too? Add lettuce, tomato, and onion and eat the bagel like a sandwich.
I do everything bagel, toasted with either veggie or jalapeño cream cheese with lettuce, tomato, and onion and boy howdy.
Also great on an egg and cheese as well.
Even better: cold smoked salmon/lox, capers, and red onions. Mmmmmmm
Can we make out after?
I like cream cheese. I usually go with butter and cream cheese, followed by salmon and maybe some lemon or dill/mustard sauce. Have you ever tried making cream cheese pastry? I don’t have the recipe at hand but you can make a dough with like 50% cream cheese. Roll it in a circle, top with smoked salmon (or ham I guess), cut into pizza slices and roll into mini croissants and they come out of the oven so crispy and cheesy and delicious it’s the best way to consume a lot of cream cheese IMHO
I’ll add to the others that A LOT of places don’t make bagels well. If it feels like you’re just eating bread then it’s not a good bagel. It should be chewy but also somewhat hard on the outside. A good bagel also doesn’t need to be toasted because it’s fresh.
Here’s my opinion of how to try a bagel in its most classic format, me being someone from the northeast but not New York. Everything bagel, cut in half (like a sandwich), toasted, smear each open face with plain cream cheese (can substitute for veggie cream cheese), eat each half separately.
Otherwise it’s just a different shape of bread like ciabatta or baguette. Personally I don’t love bagels for sandwiches because they tend to not hold up structurally, but bagel is my favorite context for cream cheese.
The way bread is made can make a huge difference in a sandwich. Bagels are made differently than most sandwich breads and offer a different flavor and texture profile.
Like, would you rather have some really good French bread or Wonderbread when you make a sandwich?
Good bagels aren’t actually common. You want them from a good place, and you want them fresh. The kind you get that have been baked and sitting out for hours aren’t going to be as good. The kind you buy from grocery stores absolutely don’t cut it.
Hard to explain without experiencing it. Once you have an amazing bagel, you’ll know.
Bagel bread is really good. Like a big round soft pretzel.
Bagel yummy
I just want to put it out there that not all begals are equal…
In Southern California we have places like “Einstein’s Begals”. These taste like soggy compressed cardboard.
In New York, however, they have these crispy, amazing circles of heaven. These are life-changing.
you must boil them first, then bake them.
if you just bake them, all you get is a shitty dinner roll. not a bagel.
If its not boiled, how can it even be called a bagel? That’s false advertising…
Yes! This is it exactly.
Do you realise that you’re spelling it ‘begal’, and everyone else is saying bagel?
They lived in New-York, they know how to say begal.
They’re the worst.
Maybe he’s taking about dogs.
It’s the water.
You have to put baking soda in the water too, right?
No, you have to put 17 million dead micro crustaceans. Orthodox Jews, who will leave the oven running all day so they don’t have to push a button on the sabbath, literally made a religious exception to the shellfish rule so they could eat New York bagels.
IDK it’s something about NY water that makes them taste better.
I was thinking of pretzels.
We have bagel here, so.
I never saw a reason to get a bagel if I could get better tasting alternatives. However since every bakery get stupid expensive I haven’t bought anything but blank buns there anyways. I’m not going to pay 6€ for some bagel and still be hungry afterwards. Keep it
I don’t hate bagels, but in the end it’s just pretty dry funny shaped bread. I assume americans go crazy for bagels because their normal bread is ass. If you have some good alternatives or you can bake yourself, i don’t really see the point.
I would not describe bagels as “dry.”
it’s just pretty dry funny shaped bread.
Idk what bagels you’ve been eating, but we have clearly had different experiences with bagels.
If your bagel is dry and you can’t distinguish it from normal bread, you’ve never actually had a real bagel.
Yes, I can see how you would not like bagels if you’ve never had a good bagel.
do you mean dense? I would say bagels are dense. But when talking about bread I could see how dry and dense could be similar.
Ah, your bagels are terrible, presumably for the reason the meme implies
… Every moderately sized grocery store here has bagels.
I don’t know the person in the OP, but I am assuming she is not talking about a pack of bagels you buy from the grocer. I imagine she is talking about the grocer selling packaged bagels in the aisle and having a baked goods section with bagels from a bakery in the same city. And also have one or two bagel places local. And also cafes or similar establishments that rep their bagel game.
I do not know Germany 's bagel game. Just saying being able to buy a thing at the grocer does not mean you have access to the jawn the way others do. For example I can buy sushi at the grocery store near my work.
I do not know Germany 's bagel game
This is simple. If you are not in the US Northeast or Mid-Atlantic, there is a high probability that your bagels are trash.
Did your neighborhood have any national policies with respect to bagel bakers and their ethnic roots?
Disappointment
Delectable
But they’re not good
Do you live in Germany?
Ja.
das Bockmist.
Plenty of bagels in Germany…but hey, why not make a meme stirring up a little controversy, right?
Of course we have bagels in Germany. But with a good Baker having one or two dozen variants of rolls anyway, nobody actually needs defect rolls with a hole in the middle.
I would never consider a bagel as a roll. I’m not sure what I would call it except excellent. But it isn’t a roll with a hole in the middle. I’m legitimately sorry if that has been your bagel experience.
Rolls are good, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a certain density to bagels that most rolls don’t have any business trying to imitate.
It’s just a different type of bread product entirely.
If people prefer rolls, that’s cool. Eat what you like, but nobody should be going around saying that rolls are universally better than bagels. They’re different, sometimes you feel like eating a while loaf of bread in one handheld package and bagels are there for you.
Don’t judge me.
Tell me you’ve never had a decent bagel without telling me you’ve never had a decent bagel. A bagel is not a roll.
I never said either was better, just different.
Maybe bagels are better than American rolls, but that is not exactly aiming high. Have you ever tried German rolls? Because after that, you won’t touch bagels anymore, unless you go back to the US. And yes, I’ve had them all, and I don’t understand how you can stand those squishy, HFCS-loaded things.
You’re either responding to the wrong comment. Can’t read. Or you think straw man arguments are valid.
I never said either was better, just that’s it’s foolish to confuse or compare the two.
deleted by creator
Another European here. Might be because I’m into baking but I don’t think a bagel should be classified as a roll. Bagels are boiled in water prior to baking which gives them a rather unique texture compared to rolls.
Sadly most commercially available “bagels” are not actually produced in this way.
deleted by creator
American living in Germany, working happily at a German bakery. Brötchen can be absolutely spectacular and I love German bread, but I still miss bagels. I’ve never had a good one here, but the ones you find in the grocery store are basically similar to grocery store bagels in the US(though sometimes they’re not boiled here, which explains why they might seem like Brötchen with a hole).
It’s honestly similar to good Laugengebäck, just without the taste of lye (Lauge), which makes sense. If that’s not appealing to you, sure, but my homemade bagels (which are good but not spectacular, compared to some bagels I’ve had) have always been a hit among the Germans I’ve made them for.
The order of superiority goes like this:
American bagels > German rolls > German bagels > American rolls
The America bagel is definitely at the wrong end. It is better than American rolls, but that’s it.
Thinly veiling eugenic beliefs behind a topological proclaimation.
What?
Delusions
I can also think of a reason we’re not very funny people.
NO HUMOR IN GERMANY. Have a pleasant day.
[German comedian on stage] - I just flew in from Zurich and boy are my arms tired.
[Audience] - Cough.
For those that haven’t tried them, and don’t fancy going to NYC or Montreal for the “authentic bagel experience”, try making your own and you’ll see the huge difference between what you get in supermarkets (even good ones with good bakeries like Lidl) and a proper bagel. While there’s a few steps, it’s not hard to make.
But for the yanks, you should absolutely try German bakeries. I can understand why even good bagels aren’t a priority for them…
As an Australian living in Germany for over a decade I’m still not that impressed with German bakeries. The pretzels are awesome and the bread is fine but the sandwiches are lame. They’re like mostly bread and never more than 1 or 2 toppings. A German once told me it’s because the point of the sandwich is the bread and if there are too many toppings you won’t taste the bread 😅
Germans love their bread so much but I think it’s just because that’s what they grew up with, I don’t think it’s objectively as good as they think it is
I recently, as a lifelong montrealer, spent a few days in Manhattan and tried the bagels. Montreal bagels have this kind of faint aroma you get from the honey in the dough that I just didn’t find in New York bagels, the flavor of the new York bagels was much closer to bread but the texture was great. Also, maybe a New Yorker could answer this, but were they always so big with almost no hole or is that a development from them being used for sandwiches?
I never had a bagel on my trips to Britain but, at least when my dad was growing up in the 30s and 40s (and an adult there in the 50s), he said British bagels tasted somewhat different from American ones and had a very different texture.
I read they use a malt syrup in NY instead of honey when they boil them, I’ve always wanted to try making them that way.
The recipes I’ve followed ask for some malt extract in the boiling water. There’s a definite difference in taste and texture, and while I recommend it, most places that sell the extract sell huge jars of it, so you’ll want to make a lot of bagels to get it used up…
Ah! That goes to show how our local experience shapes our definition of things. Is the malt syrup or honey more traditional (I’m guessing honey but you never know)?
you’ll see the huge difference between what you get in supermarkets (even good ones with good bakeries like Lidl) and a proper bagel.
I believe in large part this is because traditionally a bagel ought to be boiled in water and then baked in an oven. But to save labor costs, mass-produced bagels are often baked in a steam oven which doesn’t quite give the same chewy texture.
Another factor is, they will generally partly bake them in the factory, then freeze them and ship them off to your supermarket which finishes them off before putting it on the shelf.
I had a friend from Germany say the same thing, didn’t call them out on it but man I laughed later.
We don’t? I am eating Aldi bagels right now, lol.
They might not be as widespread, or as good as in New York, especially when it comes to the fast food, but you can absolutely get them in almost every supermarket.
Well no wonder she can’t find any bagels
Well see there’s was this whole thing back in the 1930s-40s…
Big Hunk candy bars?
1992 called. They want their mic back.
Who needs bagels when you can have pretzels?
Why have abs when we can have kebabs?
