• N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      62·
      2 months ago

      “AI,” what should I do about being constipated?

      Painfully stretch your rectum to gaping in order to accommodate your constipation.

      • southsamuraiEnglish
        16·
        2 months ago

        That is called impaction removal, and I have done that to people for fun and profit.

        • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          2 months ago

          As a CNA? Your RNs were lazy. They shouldn’t allow CNAs to do digital disimpaction. In some places even RNs aren’t allowed to do it, only providers.

          Edit: looked it up and it gets so dumb that some MDs will consult surgery to do a digital disimpaction in teaching hospitals, lol.

          • southsamuraiEnglish
            2·
            2 months ago

            Eh, they were definitely lazy lol.

            It wasn’t unusual though. I don’t think I ever saw an RN do one.

            One nursing home had us doing foleys, and I’ve started IVs and other stuff that was absolutely not supposed to be done by CNAs.

            • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.worldEnglish
              2·
              2 months ago

              Nuts. It’s something that really needs an order (standing or otherwise) in their charts nowadays because it’s considered invasive with a risk of vasovagal response which can lead to a code(for those with fragile cardiac status) and many RNs aren’t even trained to do it safely (but let’s be real, if you’re not sticking your hand up there you’re not going to cause a bowel perf). No shortage of lazy RNs in LTC though.

              • southsamuraiEnglish
                2·
                2 months ago

                Amen to that. To be kinda fair, most ltc staff develop a sense of “fuck it” and either get lazy or quit entirely. It grinds people down, so the field ends up relying on new hires that are burnt out from other areas, which just completes the cycle

    • desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      16·
      2 months ago

      good, it beats the incompetent assholes that just tell you not to do things when you ask them how to do them just because they are harmful.

    • Wanderer@lemm.eeEnglish
      121·
      2 months ago

      Thank god for that.

      Imagine if LLM were made in Oxford in the 1950’s.

      It be trained on the fucking Iliad and Shakespeare.

  • li10@feddit.ukEnglish
    81·
    2 months ago

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve had moments of pure despair as I feel like one’s gonna tear me in half.

    A real porcelain shatterer.

    • Comment105@lemm.eeEnglish
      14·
      2 months ago

      I ended up occasionally chugging about half a liter of water before going, because this started happening.

      That seems to actually do something very useful when I think I’ve not had enough water prior, but I don’t actually know the details of how the body moves and uses that water. It intuitively feels like 2-3 minutes should be too short of a time-span to start doing useful work, but it still seems to work.

      In general not using piddly little 0.2l glasses and instead keeping a large glass or bottle with me isn’t just helpful, it’s vitally important. I simply can’t get by occasionally drinking small glasses of water. Other than the first day I’d resolve to start drinking more water again, I never went to fill them up enough times to actually get sufficient hydration for my size.

      Additionally, I’ve learnt to feel my hydration on my lips, if they’re dry I need a drink. But I am an unreliable, irrational actor. I don’t always pay enough attention, or stay on top of things even if I notice, so I’m likely to resort to desperately chugging water again.

      • Mothra@mander.xyzEnglish
        14·
        2 months ago

        Chiming behind the lemming who said the water a few minutes prior going won’t do anything. It certainly won’t do absolutely anything no matter how much you drink. Once the bowel absorbs the water, adding more water to your body won’t restore moisture to the stool.

        What probably happened in your case is simply peristaltic movement, some people are more sensitive to it. So chugging a generous amount of water stimulates your gut tissues and encourages things to get moving along.

        Going back to the water - of course if you stay hydrated and keep things hydrated it will help. But you cannot rehydrate a stool just by drinking.

        • Cypher@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          2 months ago

          the water a few minutes prior going won’t do anything.

          That depends entirely on which end you put the water in

      • rhombusEnglish
        4·
        2 months ago

        The way I understand it is that your colon will work harder to reclaim water if you’re dehydrated, so staying hydrated will help keep stool softer overall. That said, rehydrating while constipated (or immediately before a bowel movement) won’t make a real difference since the water has already been absorbed from the stool and it can’t add it back.

        I would imagine your drinking lots of water before, if you do it consistently, is probably just contributing to your overall hydration which makes it easier next time.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 months ago

        Just eat a handful of sugar-free gummy bears every morning before you leave for work and it will be so super easy to poop and clockwork regular.

    • JackFrostNCola@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      2 months ago

      Me too, once held too long when i was busy and kept hitting the ‘snooze button’ on going all day long, end of the day i dropped something that resembled a hand grenade, with the little square-ish ridges and everything. The pain, the relief, the lasting butthole tenderness afterwards.

  • spirinolas@lemmy.worldEnglish
    351·
    2 months ago

    Somebody should write a small book about this. You could put it in the bathroom and read it while taking a shit.

  • PieMePlenty@lemmy.worldEnglish
    22·
    2 months ago

    I once held a shit in for a week. Literally 7 days. I was in the hospital and forbidden from using the toilet and using the portable bag toilet in the room with 6 others was not gonna happen so I held it in. Nurses gave me laxatives because they were concerned but I beat them too.

    After finally being allowed on the toilet, I basically filled the bowl to the top and clogged the toilet. Yes, it hurt. I now know why and I’m never doing it again.

    • JackbyDev@programming.devEnglish
      10·
      2 months ago

      My friend poops once a week. He claims he told his doctor and they said it’s “on the edge of normal.” It freaks me out though. I’d feel so bloated all the time.

  • doingthestuff@lemmy.worldEnglish
    202·
    2 months ago

    I think the question OP didn’t want to ask was, “does all of this dick in my ass affect my poops?”

    • fallingcats@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
      61·
      2 months ago

      That’s because it isn’t. As was just explained, the shape is pretty much set before the “extrusion die” sphincter comes into play.

      • sweetpotato@lemmy.mlEnglish
        3·
        2 months ago

        What are you talking about? The asshole works as a die. Extrusion is about deforming the object, it doesn’t have to change its general “shape”. If there is plastic deformation, which there is as stated(unless you hold it in unhealthily long), then it counts. You extrude a cylinder with a big cross section to one with a smaller cross section.