I like how the response emojis say “No” and “I came”
the “1984” got me good. XD
“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal’s most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it’s doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn’t first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or “knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom”). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.” - Ernest Cline
If this isn’t a joke (which i think it is), you have a very skewed sense of scientists. If it is a joke, then carry on my dude.
It is indeed a joke
The best jokes touch a deep truth. This one at least strokes the surface.
Masturbation is an innovator. So many inventions go back to “because porn”. Take current AI development for example, there’s a massive drive because porn and porn has only one job.
“The little man in the canoe” might be the best one I’ve heard yet
God, I fucking hate Ernest Cline.
Reminds me of the Einstein jerk off skit from UCB
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Marie Curie had a husband though.
Had. And then she didn’t. Their marriage only lasted nine years.
Ridiculous! We should protest this by making Lemmy posts for announcing masturbations
Yes annocement #1: im now mastrobating
omg, pls! why??? im in bed trying to get sleepy so i can go to work with decent rest tomorrow, but instead, im in bed lmao because you guys want to start a ridiculous movement 😆
I was on the nyc subway when this happened. I was chilling browsing the Web when one my homies hit me up on discord and sent me a gif of a big musslely black man doing the thugshaker I then began to start furiously mastrobating to the picture of the big mussley blackman doing the thugshaker people started looking at me and saying things such as omg and stop it I then in a haste dropped my phone and one by one all the other men in the train started to furiously mastrobate too. My peenis was but a little stub at this point.by the end the entire train was filled with mastrobating men all hovered over one phone playing a gif of a man doing the thugshaker. Be warned @I’m back on my bs you may suffer the same fate to if your not careful
suffer?
art source : https://www.artstation.com/artwork/KrQ9by
Yeah, it’s discord, not fucking 4chan. Have a little decorum, ya reprobate.
Discorum*
But its still ok to announce when you have just returned from masturbating, right?
Just please wash your hands first.
Not before a nice wet high five!
If we high five before I wash my hands, does that make our hands eskimo brothers? (I really am speedrunning how many times I can get comments removed for uh, bigotted?, language)
Definitely don’t have a text channel for announcing jerkin it
The only correct way to announce masturbation.
Now if it was mostly female strangers it would be at least understandable.
Yeah, that was a weird way to put that. Clearly nobody in that group has social skills.
need a hand?
high five?
JIM!
Please redirect all such messages to the masturbation announcement channel.
My brother is autistic and this is the type of autistic person who is hated by other autistic people. This is why autistic people hate mentioning it, because they get lumped in with these people.
Pardon me, but what the hell are you going on about?
Could it be that you are commenting under the wrong Post?
You know, the internal politics of autistic people. Or, supposedly. It could be made up as well.
Wait, this is getting even more interesting. Who is the kind of autistic person that is hated by other autistic people: (a) people that try to be nice about enforcing a no masterbation announcement rule or (b) people that announce they are going to go masterbate? Also, does your brother fall under a, b, or something else?
It’s almost definitely B. Most people on the spectrum would not say “im gonna go masturbate” and those who are would use autism as an excuse for why they behave that way, which is just not valid. Autism can make it harder to behave in a way that is socially acceptable, but not like this, hence why others on the spectrum dont like people like this. They use autism as a sort of sheild to allow them to behave in ways that are just not right. The best example of this i can think of off hand is Chris-Chan, but they are an extreme case of this. Anyways, people like this make it harder to be upfront on the fact that you are on the spectrum, because the first thing that comes to mind will be people like that.
Elon Musk claims to be autistic and he uses it as a shield.
deleted by creator
Autistic people who announce when they’re going to masturbate make all other autistic people cringe for being so incredibly unaware and making the rest of them look weird.
I don’t think anyone was assuming these people were autistic. It’s possible you have a skewed view because you are around an autistic person more that most people.
Intentionally doing something fucked up and thinking that it’s some sort of quirky joke is the sort of thing that I’ve seen autistic people do.
Hey everyone, I’m going to choke my snake!
it’s been three hours, did everything work out
Oh, they worked something out.
How’d you go, bud?
That discord’s users must have dedication to make these emotion reactions happen.
You clearly haven’t seen the uk embassy discord
The what now?
I refuse to elaborate
that’s pretty standard for just about any major server. not too hard to spell stuff. there’s a keyboard shortcut that lets you hold the emoji menu open.
Discord statuses after this announcement be like:
Sounds like a server full of master baiters.
