• Cruxifux@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        39
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        It’s more that infinite uncles implies an incredibly high rate of being molested. If it’s literally infinite, it’s being molested a lot.

        • Magikjak@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          31
          ·
          1 year ago

          Uncles or fish is irrelevant, infinite anything with mass presumably fills the entire space of the universe immediately and collapses everything into a giant singularity.

            • Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              7
              ·
              1 year ago

              If the space was infinite, we wouldn’t exist.

              From the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

              It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

            • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              The thing is that the universe is as far as we can tell the not infinite, just infinitely expanding. The known universe is measurable (like 46 billion light years)

              Idk what that implies for the existence of open space however. Like if that is infinite or if it is somehow created.

        • Striker@lemmy.worldOPM
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          13
          ·
          1 year ago

          Wouldn’t the non molester uncles protect you from the molester uncles thereby creating war on earth between the uncles that want to molest you and the ones that want to protect you.

      • FanciestPants@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        1 year ago

        Infinite uncles means the population of earth is completely unsustainable and the collapse of every system is imminent.

      • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        1 year ago

        For me, literally everything except the balding and I really couldn’t give a shit, I’ll buzz it all off anyway.

        Infinite rare fish? Well as it happens, fishing is my biggest hobby, so that’s just fuckin delightful.

        Mongolian real estate empire? Well that’s passive income and/or something I can sell. As a mongol mogul, in gonna try working the angle of an exotic but affordable fishing, hunting, and nature tourism destination, really try to put Mongolia on the map for Western tourists.

        No taxes dovetails nicely here, also making it easier to both expand as well as make the business model more resilient.

        Neighbors scared of me? Great! If they seem cool, I’ll reach out to them, otherwise, fear is a great way to not have to deal with shitty neighbors! In Mongolia they’ll be far away anyway.

        Night light to keep the monsters at bay.

        And the balding we will deal with by just keeping it buzzed low or shaving my head completely.

  • PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    62
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    B all the way. I’ll use my real estate and no taxes to figure out a way to make a fuck ton of $400/month apartments like it’s 1990 to help the less fortunate/average person. I’ll then use the no taxes to hopefully refine my business model to the point of making my affordable apartment business more widespread across the entire country and just keep expanding until I get either assassinated or receive a Nobel Prize.

    • Olmai@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      Depends on how scared the neighbors are. Are they “let’s avoid that guy” scared, or “we better kill him before he kills us” scared ?

      • Corkyskog
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        I feel like it depends on who the neighbors are. Live in a suburb, cool. Live 45 minutes from the closest grocery store… yeah that neighbor is likely to murder you.

    • morrowind@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      unfortunately the real estate is in mongolia. Already pretty cheap there, but no one wants to move there

  • Delphia@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    40
    ·
    1 year ago

    Ok and hear me out here… Tell me more about the Uncles.

    Because if they are gainfully employed in a variety of fields I now have amazing contacts for anything on the cheap.

    If they are the “handsy” uncles, they are significantly less desireable.

    • habanhero@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      1 year ago

      You have an infinite number of uncles. Statistically, many of them are going to be billionaires, handsy creeps or creeps out to collect your hands.

      • Delphia@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        If its effectively a normal spread of people then its a resource. If this is some genie trick with unintended consequences like all of them being unemployable alcoholics who all need a place to crash then its a liability.

        • Ashelyn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          Tis a shame the uncles don’t come with a real estate empire to house your personal army of alcoholics in. Imagine the political sway you could have by threatening to put them all loose on downtown at the same time? There’s an infinite amount of them! It would destroy the city!

  • Varyk
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    1 year ago

    B. Obviously. Not even a question

  • KamikazeRusher@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    1 year ago

    Infinite rare fish

    They’d no longer be considered “rare” then, right? Or can only I eat/keep them?

    Night light

    Could be good or bad. Is this a night light in just one specific room? Is it a flashlight I always have on me to use as needed? Is it a glowing orb that floats around me that I can’t control?

      • Corkyskog
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Do you just will them unto existence?.. because I am pretty sure with that skill you could convince enough people you’re God to start a new cult.

  • Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    1 year ago

    B. Sell all the fish, House the homeless, not have to pay taxes on anything including selling of fish and housing the homeless, walk past my neighbors every night at 10:01 PM with a cart of rare fish, pay for more hair with rare fish.